As,to the particular spin, in the stars in my soul, in a killers heart, in a hole
Entangled are the results when measured,
The observer is no longer outside looking in he becomes a part of the observation, changing the cat to alive
From dead, both possibilities possible if out looking in, the answer is not
In a one or zero, it's deep within the entire universe.  
Flying so high as to become outside
And see I was locked out for eternity.

Then again, I was changed then
Each day I renew
Sleep like in a cocoon
Emerge with wings anew
unwritten by yesterday's
Weighty legs ground dwelling
Ways, days are numbered wings are fluttered, my crypt will be in the future, today I soar, uncluttered.

It's hard to say
Goodbye.
Harder still,
When
You've missed the chance.

My dawn
That this vision
The one in which I'm
Seeing myself on a mountain
Evolved more  human feeling
Prouder and seasoned empathetic  and needy, a small part of the scenery
A drop of  drip a tiny thing a part
Of the whole picture an atom spinning equal to all others
Not superior or special.
In no way just relational
Seeing for once
The majesty of it all.
Hormones be ****** testimonial
I'm man because I am not
Emotional
Calm as the wind or just as
Unconditional. Then gust me down
To the valley in the
Vaginal calm the ****** of my birth
Seeking rebirth
I coiled up fetile

***** I can't write anything
Worth a **** tonight
Wasting this buzz

Before me a plate
Set with every morsel
Many varieties
I eat
As I shall tasting
Digest

There's so much to eat
Before I know it
I was full

Then died

And riddles posed in acres where your house must be,
Running all this scared times, rushing on
Now the race, is to the
wagon.  Miles and back come
Far the principle is one  moral
Of this story,  
Power
The chains bound tightly
Around the,neck throttling
Paid  to the corner where her box on a rocking chair sits
A white porch daring
Her last and her future to ring out every time,that she and Oppressed
Are suddenly,the future free

Lanes
Alleys long paths.
Dreamscapes.  
Valleys of fallen rock,
A stream trickling through it.
Carving slowly to the bed
Rock beginning
Just south of the choctawahatchee
Where the Sand white as snow
Makes false santas,in fall
And there then
As bushes thorny grey
Close in
Encompass,it all
Then

The

Most kiss,often
Comes
Whilst

In a mirror
On a cold day in
December

From a moist breath
From the north pole

My little English unstable friend,
Wobbling out of sidewalks onto streets, that lead to nevers
Alleyways and deadends
Along the wharf the parkway bends
The sailor has been thus way forever,
But you are but a drunken carpenter,
Your legs are accustomed to roofs and hallways, the legs get all wobbly on
This stream and even some astute drunken sailors have drowned, but keep up stumble on ways into the blackness become a floating warning
Come tomorrow morn, lad.
You know.
The faults of all are envy lust and too much broth at the bar,
The bar, the bar  down on
Wharf avenue.

Sitting here
Figuratively  my finger up my ***
Powerless
A drop in the ocean
With dreams impassioned
Still, big ideas that rhyme on time
A flow of future a heart beats
Thus, glowing dumb
Numb stunned besmirked,
Overlooked in the stands of larger
Success
An old building, perhaps,
A facade of stone not bright
Shiny metals.
Or a tomb perchance
Noble and sainted,
The chapel of baptismal fonts
Where sinners are washed,
And saints walk out,
A field burnt in spring
Full of orchids arching
Long petals up in hope in summer,
Of reaching that one thing
We all live for, yet
Grounded
A metal jacket bound around our thinking
And hymns.
Someday to flower
In sunrises of knowledge all
Together in whatever
Our wildest visions
Enable.

In what has become the daily
tallying of the sum
adding plusses
minuses divided by suns
a kept total
of souls
rung like molecules
none ever created
or spoiled,
is infinitely the same
- a quantum state-
where measuring
becomes the result
and the quotient.

If you've
     Ever had a dream,
           Like i do
Feeling real as anything,
      Believing
             It will soon come true,
   Well, i do.
Dangling barefoot in a stream,
       Every sunbeam
              meant for you,
       Thats what I mean,
    And you've wanted all your
            Days, to dream this way
      Sharing caring with
             The sun,
  Holding hands in beams of love,
           Knowing all the wait
    Is over, and the nights
                Will be so warmer,
            a dream
                    Come true
                         Forever,
                       I do.

astonished how fresh the air is after it rains
   How the grass is the earth's cheeks
Accepting tears from her eyes
       How the skys are blue hair combed back in mists
How sweet this new cleanse feels kisses from heaven on my lips
      Music comes from such,
And dance.
             Hope springs only after
Destruction
        Spewing volcanoes create life
Mountain ranges and ******* the coming feel
      The strong arms of forests
A river flowing
   Gasps of breath panting *****
wet
          Morning dew on bodies in
Synchronicity.
    Cries of wolves on the crest.
Moonlit meadows ready.
       Faces are nature. Nature is us in
                  Love

I never met.
So beautiful her eyes
A smile like a rose.
I heard described
By one that loved
You, just like you loved.
Unconditional.
As the sun continues to rise
To fall
Days are counted since
You died.
I count on meeting you in
Heaven.
I heard your mum cry.
I know you were there.
I love your mum like you do.
Sweet Lilly.
I'll remember.
I will make sure mum
Gets there in heaven
To hold you
Again.

One circle returning a spiral
No beginning or end
The origin is forgotten
The end is to come
Unending unknown
The cycle spins in orbit
A known side and a dark
a duality is studied
But like quantum  physics
Is just a theory
And great minds
Get dizzy

conceptualize if you can
spirits and ghosts
Afterlife and life's beginnings
Your own end And
grieve while you live
Make habits and poems
Rhyme while you're  capable
Of watching
Sunsets

Make haste when you are hurried
Make love when you're  worried
Make songs to be sung
And diagnose the worlds wrongs
But make something round
A mouth puckered up
A ball bouncing over
The world spinning round

And you will realize that sides mundane conceptions
We live uneventful Like days
will always go on
The last thing we should study
more the right than the wrong
we should play ball more
life and a metaphor

Its all coming round

Ok.
I admit I've  stolen hearts,
Plagiarized Shakespeare
To get my way into a day
I might hold her tight
Used words that Poe also wrote
or themes that Emily thought of
in loneliness
or was that Thoreau?
A crook a ne'er did well
a thief a stealer of words
Ignoble. And i grin because
I know
deep down inside,we all
Compose
With the meter words the sounds
Of dead poets
Echoing
in our minds
Somewhere

And, were any work unique,  ever.
Or are we all
Just thiefs, and
Crooks

Jerome
The gnome
And
Mary Gold
Just
Alone in the garden
Wishing
To recreate
Animate like
The bunnies
And squirrels
Its the same every day
Their shadows fall
The same
But never
Touch.
Jerome
And
Mary.
So close
And yet
So far
Away

I'm trying to tell us how I absorb the sun
On yellow days.
Walking to nowhere down the hill
Inspired by the shiny backs of leaves
Surprised how free the excepting is
Taken in like i belong
Here a glint like a young smile
A pattern i discern from the background is a face welcoming me
The bark dark green absolute
Full resolutely i come there
Calm. Almost gone is that blue.
Replaced by rays and limbs and twigs dead leaves the dead the life going on
Absolute peace.

I dont want to leave.

I belong here...

Resolution, for this year
Just one, wait,
......the year,is early...
Only 45 mins in....
I'm  thinking .




Ok, i got it.
Make this year better.

All

Up, on the tip of the flame
  White dancing disappearing.
Buried in cellular flames deep
    Within embers embraced.
As fleeting as a flicker
       Becomes smoke the ashes waft
Dust into air into living and breath.
Stolen froth off the timeless beasts
     Mouth, the masters revoke your
Sentence, to become a mounted steed
      A father.
And they mate, not by threats
        But loyalty not by chance
But lusts analogy
   To love.
As therefore matters are made
       Your majesty, the creator,
Gaveth thy dagger
          And her sheath.
And fires dance to flicker
  Airs to breathe
       Like water
To quench thirst
         And matters
Of nature to worship.
Nothing less.
     Nothing more.
Noble as any kings conception.
      Yet, personal.
Appropriate by design,
     Thus dawns
             Origin.

Days some endless
Go on towards that infinity
Approach happiness love
Joy
Become circled memories
In a love letter
Or a poem read  years forever
After alone

As wings spread out
Lifted body up over trees
Brook and dale
The body of the eagle
Or falcon sailed
As my spirit my hopes
My days and nights
have gained a new higher life
  Upon the smile up in a
Gale of promised love
to never fail
  As so the bird looks upward
More
Am I a mere mortal drawn
to wander eye and
Mind upon
  That that soars
That futures bring
    A gust of wind
So beautiful
On wing

Painful.
Looking in eyes.
I read eyes. Get all sorts of answers looking in.
At times I see hurt in them.  It's in the black part. It screams almost at me.
Laser beams hurt. I'm in pain!  
Eyes say that.
Some eyes, so innocent,  beseech cry call screech nearly, I love you so much.  
I turn away.
It's a responsibilty.
I'm not worthy of so much feeling so much true love.
My whole life I've been used to actresses actors . The onstage I love you so they catch the bouquet.  Bow after the curtains close and they exit.  
Listen for the crowds call of encore as they dress in street clothes. Run out onto tenth avenue.
Eyes hurt. Its like they know me.
See into my core. All my vulnerabilities so aware like
The streetlights glare.  On the bus.
Strangers, yes
But their eyes
Like moonbeams
A  green glare insidious
Potent unrelenting
Knowing as I reach in my pocket
Fumbling for my token,
Trips me out off run
God
I do want to never look in an eye
Look at noses cheek
just over it
eyebrow
And
It catches me
My greed my
curiosity that peek
The black does the center of me of them the all knowing
black
I turn

Made it out when I was in made it in when I had no chance to get out made it over when so tired I couldn't climb made believe when I couldn't face reality made up stories to hide my lying made for heaven god called him when she was dying made a pact with a demon once on a hunch just trying anything made a child made my ex-my child's mother stop loving me made her come back and made myself stop wanting her then made a roof for strays four two one legged whatever made food when hunger growled growled back at my stomach when cupboards bare made paintings I wished approached beauty the way the sky soared and forests stood mere characatures mocking nature made hymns songs love once made tears when she left me alone made this just to remember how I've made it this far
Made mad by the journey and glad I saw everything

I love you.

No,
No ordinary cat
Was he,
No, fluffy ginger haired
Scruffy Maine **** uncut
Hitchhiking burrtailed
Loved to get cuddled
Disappear for two weeks
I almost give up
Always hungry
Purr at the drop
Of a hat
chase four legged
Females around
Call like his nuts
caught in a vise top
Of a cats lungs pierce
eardrums
Neighbors
Call 911
I told him to shut hell up
A thousand times
But he'd  'tween roaming
Eating calling
Climbing the oak for some
Winged thing or
Tormenting a ******
Helpless cricket
He'd  found on the weeds
Catch me asleep
On the couch passed
Totally out from
Drinking
And think
It's such a good night
What a great idea
Perfect time
To love on dad
All night.
Until my eyes opened
He'd lick my eyelids
Forehead
Ears my chin.
God ******* ****,
I miss him

Forever Endeavour

so dearest,
Is time on the
Highway
Blurring black tar
With white lines,
Eyes melding
With lids,
Trying to cling to
The quest,
A song of the rubber
On miles
Keeping beat with
Sirius xm,
A memory of your golden
earring
burning a hole in
My chest ,
Overpassing rest stops
Petrol stations
Cows in the fields,
Such lonely looking
trees bare,
A message in the air,
The sun on the horizon,
Just driving
To you,
there.

Feel I do
Feel like a serial killer at times
Fingers of mine tensing
Carotid arteries of an analogy
Squeezing warmth out of dead bodies
Of psalms into
Saying a prayer
Even though I'm agnostic
In case
And drastically overstating my case
Tasking a metaphor to
Gasping last breath blue
On the edge of a cliff
Just push over
The blood of the simile
Dripping
The flesh
rotting dead on a rock
The dangling dread
circles above
Overhead like
Vultures
I do

I am scant a savant and know it
I do I am just a wannabe poet
A shrew a devotee of
Poe and others
I wish for their talent
And notoriety
At a loss for words
Occasionally I just
Go ahead
And make them up
Dream up a verb
Ending in q
or a noun with no subject
I do
And shame is a good
Descriptive word
Adjective or adverb
I think I am sane
As I digress nightly
into a colored light fest
Of  was crayoned
flesh
On the canvas

Then a wind blew from northern
To here up a skirt
And the silk stockings
Hued like mist tween the mountains
Over thigh through a valley to
here adrift woman scented
Smoky rushing through vein
As fire arush  through blushing
tip onto the pyre
lit anew
That brief heaven glimpse upon a promise grew
A future
I am here now
As I tilted and
Honored
My grandiose
Windmill
My darling

The child cut up paper into feathers
A headdress
Another into feathers for a turkey
And the Indian child told the truth
Wept
And his tears were taken like the waters from his ancestors farms
To feather a white nest of
Lies and harm
Today the harm has
Been shrouded like the sun
Behind darknesses
And the native wanders
Alone
And truth cannot stop
The black cloud lies
From darkening
A legacy
Or the forests dying
On horizons
Of tall white
Concrete
Fallacies
Or the proud indigenous
Bearers
Passing into
Dream
Like shadows
In the trees

Been a
Small player a
Bit part actor
One of the cast
In an off Broadway play

Been a
Smart *** a
wit less loser
One of the bell
bottomed long hairs

Been a
Lover cast
Aside useless
broken a piece of
worthlessness

Been a
Powerless
Where is
my next meal
Coming from beggar

And I've
Made it here
Where I grasped
saw seen realized
it's never been
About me

So I have
Been a
lifter up a positive
Force in this seemingly
hopeless universe

Since.

shall I compare thee to burning hay?
thou art more highly and more plenty.
rough tokes do shake the buds of August, and summer's shake has all too long to wait.
sometimes too hot the high of heaven shines,
And often is the gold reflection dimmed;
And every hair from fair bud does decline,
By chance, or nature's changing course, undimmed;
But thy eternal sizzle shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that buzz thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in a daze,
When in eternal times to fine thou grow'st,
      So long as men can breathe, or eyes get red,
      So long lives this, the smoke do smell like burning hay.

around
    town down a corner
turn at the stop sign
       left
see the new blush
          of rust Orange
high upon the top
                 limbs
leaves one breathless
           Fall....

I'm fjord
the Lord
of Baltrusol
the invincible
king am I
of shores
cliffs
the mores
all knowing
seeing
scores have
lifted swords
in vain
seeking my death
effortlessly
I struck
them down
I wear my coat
of arms
proud on my
bare chest
I shall
remain
the undefeated
the king
I am

a scintilla away an atom a breath
hair a millionth or million miles
between try to touch her it's
impossible though i feel

counting
the seams on the ceiling
rotations
of the blades of the fan
whirling
about centric focused up
around
outside of me I have to
because
I fear me I'm not all of you
me
the depressed trying to stay calm
amidst
chaos overwhelming angst
anxiety
I try zen meditate medicate *******
alone
ceiling seams eradicate thoughts
patterned
four by eight not well executed
not
meant to be so visible evident
eventual
I sleep sleep flawed tossing turning
onside
wish I slept face up sometimes
reclining
looming above not plaster  seams but
underside
daisies grass roots a granite slab
peace
or whatever comes after
this

I'm  a bit like Brett I like my beer,  Senator Feinstein,
Ha. Your name has stein in it,
thats  like a beer mug, i dont have blackouts from beer drinking.
It's the lack of that makes me forget.
I don't remember much of this morning.
Went to work got some **** done, I
Don't think I molested any women,
But it's all foggy. I remember going into DG after work. They got 15 packs for 6.95.
Cept I vaguely recall creeping out. They were
Out. Until i found three of them white boxes with red and blue lettering an A
With wings insignia I'd  tucked in
A corner of the store behind cases of
Heinekens, out of my league drink,
For just this situation.
******* patriotic
Almost. I think it's doing my part to support this free-market capitalistic
Economy. Like paying taxes.
Better than voting.
So you all can impune Kavanaughs
Character all you want.
I like beer so do he. So.
Back to me.
I couldn't wait for one.
I'd put six in the freezer.
And it had been ten minutes.
I drank it lukewarm.
And my memory came back.
The fog cleared. Oh yeah, his problem
Isn't that he loves beer
Like I  do, it's that he was a punk upper class white dude who
Pushed around young girls, laughed while he felt them up,
Thought he was entitled to.
That's over the line, even for Republicans.
You are not like my justice.
I am a justice of peace and integrity.
Go drink beer,
BRETT, JUST NOT ON THE SUPREME COURT.

Take a thought
Long drawn out
Every detail nuance and particular
Write it out
Wander into every crevice corner
Orifice of it
Chew on the salty sweet detail
Talk in length about the atmosphere
How the sky was clear that day
Or how it was black as southern mud
Colorize it with the voices in your head write down what they said
The inner dialogue
Argue a point
With your ego
It doesn't matter which of you wins
Just paint it out spill
The angst in gallons of red spills
And splatters the anger
Throw black on the paper spit
Hit smack  your hand right fan on it mush it
Tangle get some virulent deep blue
And paint on paper the sky how it looked
And your eyes how wide they were
Spooked
Get lost misspell
Curse ******* demons
Who are you?
Who is anyone
Are we just blood and guts or
More

Feelings can get abstract and love can hurt poetry writing spilling paint crying
Are all we got.
Take a walk. Walk until dark.
Wake up the next day.

Cats are buzzards
Just can't fly in circles
But they can hover

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not be but gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed'and gazed'but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

Honey of the autumn moon
where in sweetest nectar
Flows
Golden on the ivy leaves
Through all of Eden's
Garden shows
A bud on stem
Reaching high
Content to wait among
vanilla stars  
And chocolate skys
In dew wet grass
Gazing a lover's eyes
A minted bath of
Sky ice cream
Looks like she
Must taste
Serene

Bad dreams?
Not good to lay around eyes closed.
Seems I dream for you.
We'll  be together forever.
One day.
It's almost been a year.
Soon.
I promise.
I left for work
A full pack of pall malls
In my back pocket.
Why?   I've worked my *** off
For a year.
Five dollars is all I got.
Can I borrow?
There is a wall it seems.
I can barely hear you.
I'm tempted to smash my head
Against it or ******* tear my shirt
Off bash the next ******* smile of
Contentment into oblivion.
Whoa.
Idiot.
Calm. Slow.
Breathe.
What would that accomplish
In any positive way?
******* shut the hell up!
Stop this wheel this perpetual
treadmill.
******* all the people why do they seem to be making headway.
Oh. Hi.
The cashier said $4.25 sir.
Hi. 2 bananas a dollar each and a coke
A pecan spin. My CPA brain **** calculated
Like that's halfway to 9
Of my pay.
Still got lunch to buy.
Gas
I'm not even breaking even.
Guy behind me in line
Look on his face
Like I was too slow
In his way, I wanted to flatten him.
No. Can't be going around flailing
Just because you've managed to **** your life up royally all those nights
flashing Benjamin's like you some made guy. The times you did make money.
Gaming. Trying to dream.
I dream for you.
And so it goes.
Dreams reality life
A lifer at the wheel.
Heard a story once
Think it was by some Greek
About a rock and a hill.
I relate.

They are everywhere
Those ghosts the zephyrs
The battery of flashes
Those pauses in between breaths.

The spaces filled with memories
Pictures of time frozen for eternity
In my mind in my life
Signs that I have been

Existence as a conglomeration
As if a family album
Were spread before me
Time turning pages.

Frozen like a pond now
I kneel wiping snow
To view. Crystals cold float down
Upon this scene obscuring

Blurry times horizon.
There  go I
Just a pitiable  fool
On old knees through

The dreams  a page a
Time focusing trying to find
Some truth. And like
A miser keeping them

These visions happy or
Horrible sad or climactic
From falling off
Onto the icy pond

I'm kneeling on
Worshipping.

Trust me,
   I am weaker than
A lowly earthworm.
      By my belly
I ******
    Forward
       Squirm.
When the rains
    Pour down
          I come out
             On the sidewalk
                 And get stepped on.
My kin my destiny
     I lie smashed
            With under heel
                Under boot.
Do not cut me
     No I will only be two
             And die eventually
Wriggling  into minced agony
      Twice.

Never titled a poem
Love
Before wondered
Would I ever
now that I have
I have to title
All my poems
forever, Love.

Once
     I was a dunce but
In my head I had
       Arranged
This view of
       Me supreme superior
 In order
        To hide from being
Inferior.
      So deranged I was
I invented my purpose.
      Which was, to be honest,
A ploy to hide
        Myself in shadow.
And then I met the one
       Who sang my praise
Like I had done.
       I was amazed
She really believed
       In me. How numb
I felt to her touch
       Until I looked
Into her eyes.
        And knew.
She actually believed
      In me. Knew all
My secret peculiarities.
      But, she, my angel
From  above loved
       Me unconditionally.
And there I now know
      Because of her,
All of me
        Is all of her.

Drink.      Though I do.
Smoke.      Tell me about it.
Make money.    Story of my life.
Prophesise.    It's too cloudy.
Philosophise.    In a way.
Columnise.    Working on it.
Be right.   Got over that at sixty.
Be high.   It never lasts.
Make peace.  ****, I'm too angry.
Be young.   See above.
Be humble.    I love me.
Be graceful.     At sixty?  Really?
Be positive.  Depends on polarity.
Eat healthy.   I do had whole grain bread pizza today.
Be lovely.  Not in my mirror.
Be kind.  Depends on my moods.
Love unconditionally.  Trying to.