My soul has an echo
Even when I say nothing
When I do not call out
To demons
In the darkness
Perhaps only when
Rocks from the precipice
From poorly shodden cliffs
Shoot into the abyss
It is your name
That calls back to me
It is you who resides
In my deepest depths
My soul has an echo
The wanderings of my heart
Have made you their muse
No matter my song
You are my melody

My ghosts know me
Better than your friends know you

On occasion,
When feeling particularly human
I sit in the rain
Let the sky come on to me

Your lips were the edge of the world
I find myself
Forever falling

Does the night remember our relentlessness
Here we drink, wine and stars
Intoxication of souls
Grains of salt, on sugar sweet lips
A taste of stars, for a black hole kiss
We die, the night goes on
To live one more day
Is to outlive all
The earth does not know
Nor will she remember
She bore you, conceived
Brought you forth
Out of the aching of her years
Turn your face
Lift your hand in anger
Were you not human once
Do you still hold your tongue
When angels speak
They crave your words
Your peace
There are no gods here
Maybe once, in an older day
Maybe once, when you knew their names
Passed from lip to lips
No more than a kiss
Their halls are empty
Fires burnt out
Smoke nearly touching the stars now
Their lungs are empty
Breezes settled
Will you quarrel with me here
Raise your hand against another
Lift your voice for a song,
with no words,
that you call anger
Give me up
To the sins of your head
Your heart dare not act out
I am worth these
And I am worth nothing
Change in your pockets
Will never make sense
You return me to the earth
This is your curse
Luna will call my name
Screaming it into the heavens
A voice falling only upon your ears
Turmoil and angst of your conscience
Your ears and neck burn
And you become one with regret
It will name you
Find yourself unable to utter any remorse
As it coarses like fire through your veins
This is hell, she is patient

This empty bottle has told me all her secrets
Still I hope for more
Like a thirst unquenchable

I tear away at myself
At everything that I have become
The lining of my lungs separates
And I pull her out of my throat,
and she slips through my teeth
As a ghost in the night
And a final breath
That had been spent to soon
She was told to wait
For the ticking of the clock to be silenced

These dreams, they cling
To the corners of my skull
Knocking together in the night
For warmth, for stamina
If each be just a drop of water
It is still enough to drown all else out

Like change in my pockets
Clutched between clammy fingers
And rings that turn my thieving fingers green
Are these memories I hold of you
I dare not let them slip through my fingers
Yet here I find myself
All spent out

These thieving fingers
Have stolen days
Stolen hearts
And left nothing in return
But two or three petals from a fading flower

Such is life
But to awaken each day
And to look for sleep at the end
Yet we paint our faces
With our bleeding, broken hearts
Oh some smiles, how red they are
Try as you might
You cannot wipe away the pain
So let it bleed
Until it has bled out
And still scars hold things together tighter than your hands ever could

I don't even let myself have bad days
Today is a either a good day
Or a sad day
But it is still a good day

And I Promise

To love you to the ends of the earth
And I promise to save you from all the nightmares
To show you the love in my eyes
To keep you until I die
I will follow your heart
And I will be your blanket
I will protect you from danger
And I will be your savior
I will break all the curses
And I will make your wounds better
I am the key to the lock of the chains that bind you
I will hide you from the demons that seek to find you
To touch your hair
To protect your heart
To walk beside you and match your foot steps
I will be your bridge over troubled water
I will never lie

There is nothing I cant save you from except from myself
I am the only one who could hurt you
And that is why I am leaving
I will go to another world
With my white flag unfurled
Goodbye sweet love I must keep my promise
Goodbye darling you are the only one I will miss

light up the walls of my paper thin soul
such that I would burn out
would you be more careful
if my fuse was shorter than it is now

this fuse; she has been blown
out of water and reality alike
many a time, and many a time again
when consent was but a dying lie

and this she calls her dying art
to live each day as if a few had never happened
as if such shadows did not cling to her heels
like every memory was a not a venomous snake

if you bit into her memories
they would not taste like your own
the are unfamiliar in their rendering
and foolish in their aftertaste

the lingering scent of midnight tears
and a thousand scars, each handmade
wrought into her body and the backs of her eyes alike
only some will heal, and only some fade

others, like your own eyes
you forgot they are their
until you turn to the glass
and find only your soul looking back

what could you shut out
if you had a door in your mind
some nights would you lock it
like you lock away me in your life

to stow away like voyagers on a ship
not a care to where it would go
only that it takes you far and it takes you from
all that you have known and that has forced its memory upon you

silent and serpentine these dreams pass
through my shoulders and across my cheeks
into the hollowness of my head
to writhe in agony in a dying light

and still these lights they flicker in the wind
would that you would close the window
but still my soul shivers in anticipation
of the knife to my heart, oh Ceaser's ghost hear me

would you even hear the depth of my scream
as it calls to you in the shadows of my mind
here I hold you, twixt hand and sternum
such that you would ever cling to me

I am but a fool, secure in my own folly
and that which I stand upon is treacherous
the closing of my eyes will not steady my legs
and stamina oh she has abandoned us long ago

I am weak in all but that I have done before
the anxiousness of my bones is a crutch and I crumble
like the walls of a tower without a foundation
and such is this I stand upon

soon I too shall fall into the earth
her waters shall reach me in the end of days
and pull me out, to be one with wind and waves
oh a memory sunk to the abyss

such is this
a candle heart
and a paper thin dream
just enough life
to ignite a soul

burning out
among the stars

Seek the sun at the end of its journey
Chase the light past the clouds

The dark is scared it will hide
Will you stay and be the one

It is finished

It is done

Do you change shape to
Slipping through these days
Liquid dreamer
Faulty against lines in the sand
You have eight faces on a round head
Only irony would permit
Octagon facets of your expression
To reflect one another
If the earth could talk
Oh the stories she would spew
Perhaps she is the only true triumphant
Yet we press against her
Resisting the way she would show us
All the love she has given
Yet, race to the moon
Love to the blue stars in the black skies
Will we tarnish them too
When we reach where their light touches
Paying no respects, giving no courtesy
To light beyond our own
We are never satisfied, never happy
With where we are
We hate the journey, fear the end
Desire to burn so bright
Pushing the super in supernova past our thermosphere
When no one in this solar system cares
And as if any creature, animal, or vegetable
In the next solar system can see your flares
When nothing matters
What do you do
How will you burn
When the exosphere will one day pull to earth
Every atom we are composed of splits
Phosphate and nitrogen sin against each other
As if it was their first day in the garden
Knowing, time is our only true forbidden fruit

The familiarity hurts more than the rest
I remember, but I do not know.
Who was she?
And what has made her whom she is now?
It wasn't what had changed within her, it was how it happened.
Sometimes just a taste is an overdose
Only a fool would ask a bird where it got it's wings
Some things are just so, but this pain
I cannot help but question it
I don't know what to look for, let alone where to find it
I don't have to sleep to dream
Does it have to mean that it is right?

*foolish me

A house poem

i have a broken heart
dont know where to start

found a place
met your face
stood in line
for a time
dont know how
cant slow down

make it up
make it fall down
love me now
take my heart to town

by my joy ride
my happy place
be the smile
on my face

like in a song
be my muse
make a beat
we will never lose

Memory etched on a cage of pages
Though storms rise higher
And the ocean rages
And burns like wild fire

Emotions carved into chests of flesh
Open a solid oaken heart
Never let the beat rest
Eons of electricity to make it start

Souls of skies in darkened glass
Fogged beyond recognition
Like trying to drink grass
Is the way my eyes listen

Beyond today's vault
And yesterday's filing cabinet
Lies a raw un-denied fault
By a poet who dreams out of habit

Today is the day
We said our goodbyes
You hugged me so hard
I almost started to cry

You will get on that plane
And fly away home
And leave me here
Like a fallen stone

I smiled at you
As best as I could
What I felt inside
Was anything but good

Like a leaf from a tree
The last one to fall
You turned your back
Without another call

You didn't want to
Ever have to part
But our time was
borrowed, from the start

It couldn't be worse
You said you never felt better
But that lie on your lips
Was worth a thousand a letter

I'll write to you
When you are away
And you will read my words
On the next day

And the day after that
You will remember
All the joy we had
In the month of December

So come walk these halls
In the corridors of my mind
Looking through the pieces
And see what you find

Memories with 'X's
Spray painted on
Pieces of poems
And parts of a song

I can picture your smile
But can't see your eyes
Without all the tears
That mask you disguise

You hide from me
All of your thoughts
Tried to be strong
At your own costs

You wanted a fight
I wouldn't give in
So you left me in tears
Neither of us to win

"I'm leaving"
Like a slap to the face
But if you could, you,
Would stay in this place

So I'll wait, for you
With a painted on smile
Because all these days
Made it an hour feel like a mile

Farewell my friend
Have a safe fly
And think of me
When you take the sky

I should be sleeping

Last night I was hurting
I felt six years old, again
No matter how loud the music plays
How hard I cover my ears
I cannot change
The way my mothers voice sounds
It echoes from the inside

I do not remember you
You are a strange man
A nightmare
When you crawl into my bed
Your touch all too familiar
I am a mute
To your headless horseman
We are both ghosts
You, passing through my body
Haunting, screaming, possessing
And I, a detached soul
Slipping from a warm body

I ask myself
Maybe my father never knew love
That is why he cannot show it
I turn to look at my youngest brother
I never knew love either
But to him
I cannot help but show it

Run me back
To the house on the hill
To where the trees grow thicker
Perhaps that is where I get my skin from
Today, it will not hold my rage
Still, I feel contained

When silence is bearable
And when the pin drops

When pain is approachable
And when the day stops

When clouds are dry
And the fall from the sky

When eyes are blind
Only then will I die

Please,

Don't ever tell me to go away

Because I will

And it will hurt like hell

I will miss you ever single **** day

I will want to be right next to you

But I won't be

I can't be

Because you made me think you didn't want me their

Right next to you

Where I belong

Boundaries protect and boundaries hide
When you live all of the lies
The lines are here to stand behind
The choices for you to decide
When all the faces resemble the others
You must divide child and mother
When the price to be paid is your life
When you wield dagger and knife
The faces that look on in expectation
How many ways can you destroy a nation
When the winning ticket is drawn from a bowl
And you miss your chance and fate takes its toll
When the whole world can see what you did wrong
When you cant find a home where you belong
The guidelines are way to specific
And the scenes from my life are to horrific
The babies cry and the screams break your heart
When the forbidden fruit you bit just falls apart
The blood you spill is on your hands
And you are chased through moon lite lands
The stains of sweat run heavy on your brow
When you make the choice not to bow
A rude remark and a sharp blow
Trying to figure out what you don't know
The buzzard are circling high over head
You wish you could run but face your fears instead
When you make choices without rhyme or reason
And you need to run but choose treason
So many paths that intersect in the end
What hides behind the next bend
The curtains are drawn and you stand exposed
You turn the sign and the shop is closed
A lonely walk to an empty home
A life you live all alone

You spilled your heart out
Like popcorn on the sidewalk

I feel it again...
... like I am drowning

I just love to think of you
Your memory is a spring day

The veins in your arms are different than his
I know because I have traced them many times
Your hands are different, stronger
With more beautiful lines

They way your eyes absorb the sun
And how you shake your head
I wish I could be yours
But I am his instead

When the lights flicker and I am afraid
It is his should I lean upon
But when its day
Its your smile that leads me on

When my hands are cold
And he grabs them they do not get warm
But when I stand between you two
My heart is so torn

The energy he gives me
Is unlike any drug
But when I am near you
I feel safe secure and snug

When you catch my gaze
And I can see the jealousy
I wish I could let you know
I long to be free

He says he loves me
But love does not burn
I tell you to be patience
You will have your turn

But how can I leave
Someone I know, and knows everything about me
For someone I don't know
But says they care about me

How can a child
Face all her fears
How can I choose
Without all the tears

You ask me to pick
Between love and desire
You ask me to choose
Between which of you makes me feel higher

Once this choice is made
I can never go back
It might as well be set in stone
Or written in white and black

If I chose you
Would things still be the same
Or would I cry out in the night
Haunted by his name

Or do I chose the safe side
To stick with what I know
How do I leave him
How can I just let him go

I stare at the sea
It gives it’s loneliness to me
How long has it longed
To touch beyond the shore
To reach what is beyond
I do not know
What is in the deep
I am compelled
It eats away at me
High tide
Ebb and flow
There is no give and take here
Between the rocks and the shoals
We all succumb
To salt water sirens
We love
Because we fear
Give in to her
To the madness of the ocean

I don't know what love is anymore
But I do know it hurts

Though it has been merely moments
Since the sound of you voice
Flooded through my ears

I am drowning in the suspense
And waves of sweet misery
Crash over my tempered soul

And though you say much
That you would reach a hand
To pull me out save me

I could not know these words
Nor do I dare believe
That you would care so much

To watch one drown
Be a terrible fate in its own
Yet to save a soul from water

And lift it to your own shores
Is to link your heart to that other
A memory as strong as steel

To keep together, always connected
For a life that was not to live
But to be saved and continued

A moments hesitation could cost
So much more that you could pay
And you never stood a chance

But that didn't get in your way
For moments are smaller hours
And eyes are darker souls

Intertwined in water
And bound in the waves
You bore be from a watery grave

This shore no more stable
That our trembling fingers
And yet though I long for touch

I could not dare to linger
For promises from my fingers
Are not bound by my heart

For they are unsustainable
Yet honest in a way
And I would not lie to you

In such a harmful way
For you could never seek
To ruin a phantom kiss

But I know you should run
Before the storm comes
To close to ****

I cannot push you away
At the same time I need you
And I want you to stay

But my heart is a fire
And those who touch are burned
So many have tried

And many have yet to learn
I want a last
I don't need a list

I want to love
And to be kissed
But danger lies

Between all these lips
And truth is buried
But never missed

Some flames so large
As to consume
But mine a candle

Ever steady, always bright
But you would never miss it
Among those of the same light

To face a sky that never rains
But the sky looks down
On a face of rain

Tears to slip into shadow
If you never knew they were cried
Then they would not know how to hide

To pool in eyes of warmth
And rain down cheeks of pain
To die on charcoaled lips

And never be the same
A trail of memories
To ever be traced

To always be moving
Just to find a place
To never be the same

And live within each day
To know each hour
As you never did before

Because every moment
Must be accounted for

My lungs hold my breath
And my head hold my brain
My feet bear my body
And my hands hold the chain

My chest holds my heart
And is to heavy
Will you hold it for me
Hold it, hold me, stead

Wishing I knew how fast the stars fly
Across the glass strewn sky

The fear melts down my spine in rivers
Collecting in pools of anxiety
That tendril to my limbs
I try to hide in the shadow of bravery
But I am not worthy of its cloak
So I quake in the eyes
Of all my enemies, watching me
As I fall inside myself
Drowning in pity
A damaged cavern that crumbled
To bring me down into
A dank hell
We all wish for light in the end
I only want to see less dark
To see the sun is to much
I merely need to make mark

you can listen to the radio
and hear all the songs
but it won't drown out the noise
of what is screaming inside

The weight of the world
Sits different on my shoulders
When my head
Is resting on your chest
My ribs beg to split open
To scream, my soft prayers
My devotion, into your ears
Somehow, when I whisper
I love you
I hope you hear me

This single drop of blood
Rivulating from my heart
Trying to run away
To be lost from the emotions

You trace your way
Down my scarred arms
And twist in agony
So deep into the night you dance

I fear you shall never return
You long for another system
With a steadier beat
And when the night comes

The trace you leave is sweet
I wiped you away
To forget the pain
But in this life

I drive myself insane

Stick to poems they never bite you in the back
Stick to the light and never look back