. from a zenith to a nadir...
from what i pecked at with eyes
rather than a beak
of the night sky... and its strange "occurences"...
did i fall to sleep...
and while sleeping: scream in my bed?
i rather: but more clearly... don't remember...
of all that i have read: my body should
be covered in tattoos...
of only words...
but i don't want that...
in the obscure regions of art:
roving stars are sometimes the norm...
clearly: i can't overstate this "fact"...
it's oh so normal...
am i to suddenly doubt whether or not
i looked up at the night sky, prior?
beside the constellations...
now... it would make more sense to go about
my daily: routines, chores... worries...
if being alone wasn't alone enough
to get to know what the neighbors have planned...
i can't exactly wonder when looking up
at the night sky... stars are not supposed to me...
i look up... yet another is "wandering"...
before the great interlude...
i saw a streak of them...
must have been over 20...
moving on a skew... equal distance apart
between each...
i once saw a bulging cloud of smoke...
and a firecracker of fire make a smiley streak
into it...
some people have looked for this...
connection... to a demiurge or otherwise
wandered past it...
i did read some gnosticism when i was still
a teenager...
which you do... when you attend a catholic
school...
we were obliged to think that...
the 1960s psychadelic revolution didn't happen
in what became... outer east london...
we were to be the new ukranian irish
about to sniff glue...
no... drugs weren't on offer...
at least: not the good drugs...
as long as we fully entombed in a body
and would become: necessary bricklayers...
i wouldn't mind that...
but i'd like to have a sensation that my brain
at least allowed for a labyrinth to be made
available...
rather than a sponge-suckling of give-me-give-me
propaganda regurgitation...
i could stand a chained body...
but a chained mind?
something's got to give...
on the sly... while the deities look on and say:
say: final! this liberal vs. conservative
debate has to end...
we'll sort out the arguments with
a placebo dialectic...
we'll send in a virus... settled?
no... of course it's not settled...
nothing is ever settled in a democracy....
i "rant" while a bukowski gets away
with writing "poetry"...
not enough rhyme... not enough:
"scope"? not haiku enough?
i'm coming back exhausted from watching:
what shouldn't be taking place...
someone suggested: you sure they're not satellites?
can you see... a fridge on earth from the orbit?
same ******* question!
hell... if it was the star of bethlehem... sure...
the major... the inquisitive barber shop pundits...
of course the shepherds... and the three wise men...
i once had it funneled into my head:
blind faith... good enough that it's not
bad faith built upon negation...
or worse still... give me this greyish layer
of "will"...
i only ever had two choices to begin
with... given that there's an: "immediacy" of subsequence...
two choices... which later drift off into a spare
universe of a juggling-act of "what-ifs"!
i know that i don't know:
i'm alone and i'm just too tired... mentally exhausted
to be truly scared:
if i am... i tend to scream when i'm detached
from consciousness...
asleep...
but stars should be moving...
with pointers of a whole load of them...
and some in constellations...
"looking for answers": well... wouldn't you
believe that i'm looking for them, too?!
leave me with a rottweiler puppy... give me 5 years...
you'll get a rottweiler back...
but it won't be a puppy...
it will be a sentinel beast...
******* me one more time as if this is normal...
that stars... have been given
a sudden clause: to move... roam...
on the sly i have heard of people having noticed
this... but oh sure... the science guys
have placed it on their first in the priority
list of events...
but not like this...
not when you're probably the only person
in the vicinity looking up...
to see a constellation of a Δ roaming across
the sky... and you're down below...
at a UCL event... a student affair for replicating
a catwalk...
you're in the courtyard near the UCL dome...
smoking a cigarette... looking up...
no one... does... that?
everyone looking down... with horse blinders?!
you can't be allowed to look up at the stars...
what else is there to look up at
when daylight comes?! the lure of the azure
of light piercing the oceans and providing
that solipsistic blanket of blue
that's called the atmosphere and: myopia for
the day-to-day inconveniences, chores...
and pests of bureaucratic details?
i can't turn this into a goose that will lay golden
eggs for me... a patent or a franchise...
i've heard a choir, a descent and a grand wind
that didn't begin to express words...
a muslim woman revealed herself wearing
a niqab: wtich first impressions...
i just stood rooted in stone...
before an image of joseph merrick...
none of this is supposed to make "sense"
of an ownership of eyes...
or ears... or touch of scent...
this tongue would be better suited
to epitome a bark... or a growl...
a snark: the chess of events from circa 2007
have already dwarfed me...
what good is secular psychiatry
with any of this?
any mention of an omnipresence in the variation
of a virus: a footnote of god / the demiurge...
otherwise back into the confines
of: ex nihil and... 'to have to believe in my, self'...
belief... in... a... self...
wrapping up a rap from a baboon's ***...
self-determination...
what else is it called?
the autistic "paradox"...
wreckage sought by the seas:
lie beneath... no calmness of the waves...
or ageing perpetuated:
by the onslought of wrinkles...
creases to the page...
ink blots or dying from the exposure
to weathered pages: turning into a tinge
of a new-born chick...
clucking for... the glutton to choke...
and subsequently sing an aria...
yet this... drinking mania
and a phosphorescence of insomnia...
no one questions the coming of the tide...
since... no one was ever to question
the tide per se...
a tide without measures...
is neither a coming or a going...
perpetuated: the latitutdes
of impregnating change...
where's by paragraph?
where's my sanity project paragraph
of prose? where is it all...
this: bothering over...
minor turned into major event
schematics? riddled with orthography
and not once citing a pursuit
of metaphysical architecture?
where now... or what of: now?
i don't like being sold back the oddity
in the stars...
that it's somehow mortally normal...
i looks for the spezials in moi...
i can'ts see any...
this mediocre blip... well... with all
the hierarchies in deposit: and place...
who would... fathom a "besides" worth
a hierarchical translation?
no one these days is to be evert infected
with the protestant infection
of: the ***** karma of predestination...
protestant evil of the lutheran peasants...
what's: karma...
in the guise of predestination?
this is: unavoidable...
this has been given a priori superiority:
without my knowledge...
or an ear's or an eye's worth
of inkling to hear ot simply see?
take the concept of buddhist karma...
then take... the protestant predestination...
all pros are quits...
there are no propositions of grain,
guarantee or gamble...
it's all very much:
what you see is what you get...
if asking for more...
suppose you to be no more than a common
beggar...
works well for the folk
stapped to a king's dept...
when it comes to being entertained at court...
i.e. notably, being presentable...
e.g. being well, attired!
my louis: the ******* 14th...
harem boast... and some dear-lady...
much later... much much later: vuitton...
the virus that becomes the sieve...
here's the bandwagon:
climb onto it... words are spare...
and with what is spare...
look out for the scarcity....
because...
"we're" about to rattle some cages...
and gesticulate with stones
via a juggling them:
interim... cackling... rats... pretending
to be shoes... or rather... magpies!
