I feel it moving within
Not sure what it is yet
My heart flutters then beats harder
The fine hair upon alabaster flesh rises

I pace back and forth across the room
Nothing heard but the thump of my heartbeat in my ear
I don't understand what is going on
With every pace I get edgier

Devilish green eyes sparkle beneath scarlett lashes
Suddenly noise breaks through
Dishes breaking, pans clanking
The yelling overtaking it all

Heart pounds faster as my pace increases
I feel like I might break into a run
Each scream makes me cringe
Fists clench

Looking down blood coats my palms
Realizing my nails broke through the skin
Images flash through my mind
Fire, explosions, screams,

I run from the noise below
Feet hit the stairs faster and faster
My blood feels hot
Skin flushed, film of sweat across my brow

I try the calming exercises
Singing between bursts of pacing again
Deep breaths in slow out
Trying to fight it

Yet the fuel feeds the monster
Redheaded monster as I call it
Parents continue their tirade
They don't care what it does to me

I feel it surging forward
Reaching my inner sanctum
Pinching my thigh hard trying to fight it off
Knowing it is futile to fight

Inhaling a deep breath
It surges through me
Blood boils
A noise escapes parted lips

Guttural, filled with pain, resignation, and pure RAGE!
Hands grasp anything they can
Ripping, pulling, tearing
Kicking, stomping, jumping

Screams fill the room as the rage continues to unleash
Why do they do this?
They know it sets me off
Unglues me

Luckily this room is filled with things that are meant for this
My explosions had come less frequent but more volatile
I knew I had to get control
Right now wasn't going to happen

Rage consumes me
Surging like a tidal wave
When triggered I explode
Just like a nuclear bomb

My arms and legs tire
I am weak from the tirade
Falling to the bed
Cool sheets soothe heated flesh

Heartbeat slows
Breathing grows softer
The tiny hairs settle down
I hear the very faint hint of soothing music

Lids fall softly blanketing glistening green orbs
Moisture dries upon cheeks
Body relaxes as all the fire escapes
Leaving behind a beautiful, sleeping form

I want to say I love you
Then again, I'm afraid
You may not say it back
or may not feel the same

Every time I'm with you
I close my eyes and dream
Sleep overcomes me
Like the way I keep feeling

I'd never let you down
If you just give me that chance
I know our love is true
After taking a second glance

Timing may not be perfect
But I can make time for you
I just hate sitting, watching
Falling apart, my heart unglues
I'm not asking for everything
All I want you to do
Love me true, be loyal
And I'll be devoted to you too

I had been feeling a little off lately,
It must be because of this strange melody.
Hearing it once sent an arrow through my heart,
The purest form of pain transformed into art.

A song that was written in a different era,
Each rendition of it revives the trauma.
Words you utter send shivers down my spine,
Between love and pain lies but a fine line.

Ensorcelled by this haunting melody,
No other song has had this effect on me.
I'm trembling inside in awe of your voice,
Hanging to every emotion as if I had no choice.

Blues is playing one note and it grabs you,
Music that is so honest it unglues you.
Cannot listen without a knot it my stomach,
The purest form of pain stuck in my heart.