whatever i wrote, found below... sorry, enjoying my *** and ms. pepsi... i know that even when i sober up, it won't make any sense to me, because it only made sense to me in drunken trance; as in? ah man, i'm here for a good movie, even a "******" movie, and definitely some pop songs when i'm trying not to give some sort of intellectual critique when easing back, and glug-glug-glug some fire-water down; all these arguments? maybe tomorrow, maybe next-week, maybe (please god!) never; honestly, listening to these arguments, actually made me want to break my "ramadam" of not jerking off... i simply hard to ******* after the threshold was breached: too few feminine vowels in the argument, after all, consonants are *******, prompt, *****... never really bubbles of pleasure, but sure as ****, logical, brick on brick, and a mile high... still, gets to the point of being tiresome that you have to move the tongues into a down-south manoeuvre; and i can, i am excluded from the biblical onan quest, since i haven't been m.g.m'ed.

so hold on,
               atheists think about god,
and later talk about god          as a void?

wait wait, too much ***...

and theists don't think
about god,
  and later turn into automaton
kneeling pawns?

****, this is confusing,
i thought that *** would
clarify...
      evidently, it hasn't...

what's confusing is the anti-theist
movement,
what's the anti-atheist movement
look like?

   ******* alice, walking through
a mirror glass...
   tricks of sophistry -
   you really can't even wish
for a fishing-hook
   to rein that word in...

oh god i'm trying...

  so:

   an atheist is someone who think
about* god,
      but states that there is no god -
well, the +? at least he's not
in a coma, or brain-dead,
  or a vegetable,
   or someone seeking a comfy couch
after the sunday services.

and a theist? is that someone who
"thinks" about god,
but states that there is no "god"
(i.e. thought) to be concerned with
the argument, beginning with:
my purpose is to gain a mercedes-benz
and turn flashy before the congregation?

no, wait, this is turning into a spiral
i can't control...
    can someone get me in touch
with mid-west tornado hunters?
   i'd love to spend a life watching
those things...
     i'm literally a convert
    after watching the film tornado
starring
oh **** me, what a great ******* to movie,
with the late philip seymour hoffman,
ever imitate the oiled-up *******
while pulling your cheek skin from
your jaw?
     sounds about the same as
chewing a beef steak...

oh right, right, these people are serious
atheists,
         but can't fathom the basic
solipsistic delusion
  that we're not living in alaska,
on our own, hunting, gathering, whatever...
that's atheism for you,
  in a society: solipsism lite...
    sure, it's a great talking ground
compared to the ritual of prayer
and the act of kneeling and singing
hymns,
    but the one thing atheism or anti-theism
(whatever the **** that means)
       will not be, is? solipsism...
  
            i can't fake either a belief
or a disbelief in a god - but i can empirically
state that i'm sitting in a room, by myself
and writing on a blank piece of
pixel "paper"...
                     that's the nearest i get to
grasping a "solipsistic" attitude in terms
of a self-sufficient self-dependence...
    who the **** will take my trash away
with regards to pencil-sharpening
the atheistic argument?

    atheism shouldn't exactly lead toward
anti-theism, that's anti-poetry, and i can't stand
by that... if only atheism leads toward
solipsism, i could understand you,
you pseudo adams...
          women will never exactly succumb to
a form of atheism that men seem to try to
make pop...
      this atheism has no potency for
the kind of pop that music can provide people
with...

wait wait... i'm still confusing terms, aren't i?
seagull 1 says the same as seagull 100...
        that's going to be hard to formulate,
given that we don't know who
the first atheist was...
       buddha? buddha thought he was
a levitating head of a god attached to
a body of a human being...
  who was the first atheist?
                        so this is seagull 100 talking
with seagull 200, with seagull 1003...
     now... now i lost the plot...
   who's seagull 1?
               ah! seagull 0!
  there's no seagull to begin with...
           so why are we talking in seagull 1's
talk?
        
so atheists "think" about "god"
          while "theists" think "about" god...
the former translates as talk,
while the latter translates as worship...
       **** me, the "theists" invoking
   the "about" is a mind-****** -
  where is he? mecca?!
            yes, about as in coordinating...
    funny though, how atheists manage
to talk more "about" god,
   than theists get to pray "to a" god...
atheists can indulge in their activity
24 / 7... theists get to only do it for 1 hour,
every 7 days... what a scary comparison...
             and when i remember going to
church, i remember the comfort of
being able to yawn during the service...
whenever an atheist speaks,
   my ears turn into agitated antennas...
        can i cite a one word quote and end this?
*losers!

This note is meant to be read complete at one sitting with complete attention and then only you're expected to react to it.*

One of my female friends claims:
"God won't let anything bad happen to me, I have never intended wrong to happen for anyone..."

Many people find the statement pretty obvious. But I have an entirely different perspective...

Read on, be intrigued.

My counter-statement to the above claim questions the very basis of theism:

"I wonder then how I got on your God's wrongbooks... I have always been a helpful person serving those in need and even serving the lower-strata - I even taught underprivileged kids dedicatedly during my tenure in second year at the previous college.. I remained a no-fuss son to my parents who were always very caring and loving. So my question is, why then your God - if any such entity exists - gave me the worst possible time, why I was cut off from the world by a grave accident that put me into a 22-day long coma, why did I lose all my friends, why I was made to abandon my previous ways of life - including playing guitar as fine as I used to & moving as freely as you do, why I suffered and  why - simply why?"*

Nobody can answer these why's and I don't seek their answers because this is a statement which questions the viabiliity of theism - the belief in any imaginary entity that controls the universe. Bhagwaan or God or whatever you may call the dormant power probably just created the universe & let chemical reactions follow the physics laws and went to a permanent sleep itself.

Life was just created by mere chemical and physical interactions, why do we then need to waste incessant money at different 'so-called' religious institutions instead of doing social service ourselves?

Don't we find any poverty or negativity in the outside world itself?

Why do we not stop the incessant flow of money into places of worship and go serve the poor ourselves instead or are we so busy, rather so lazy?

When God or Bhagwan is not going to be pleased by any such hypocrisy then 'why' are we fooling ourselves by remaining religious in the flashy-fashioned-faking ways?

Why - just a small why?

I'm sure that if God or Bhagwan could listen to our prayers even in its dormant state - it's by the following ways:
1. Serve the poor by your own hands instead of giving mere donations or maundy money, or simply doing more & more of charity to wash your sins
2. Help others - be it a friend, a normally needy person, an aged person, or a physically handicapped person - help them more frequently with a kind heart and pure intentions, free from the awareness that you are helping them such that you don't have to count it among your good deeds
3. Raise your voice against wrong - it could happen to you or a loved one too

There are some other fairly similar ways by which you can attain pure liberation from the worldly woes in this world - in this life only.

The Time For Humanity To Mature Has Not & Would Never Come. Read on - be intrigued.

Now that I believe for a long time after I attained the age of 22 years on 23rd December, 2012.

Many of the spiritual literature pieces are just contradictory to themselves, why would HE let the occurence of any trouble then and hold only the other end of a jittery life helping us cross to the other end safe & fine?

If you would excuse this question saying "HE can never be questioned and HE alone is the destructor & the creator," then it's just a desperate excuse which you hold to considering theism as flawless & unquestionable, me & any similar people as psychos, or perhaps losers.

I don't discourage theism nor do I encourage anybody to share similar thoughts as mine, but I myself don't encourage idling over the concept of the special spiritual unseen power. I agree that some phenomena like love, kindness, greed, lust & hatred can't ever just be scientifically explained in total completeness by just citing some natural laws of nature or physics. But then again why do we often indispensably need that imaginary hand above our heads for protection or more than often have to spend money in praise of the imaginary hand above our heads?


Any mention about theists' escapist nature would be countered by their many statements of the following kind:

o Us theists, we don't escape problems, we just gather courage when we have identified a problem in our lives by remembering the imaginary hand above our heads sheltering us from all troubles and then tackle the problem with enough strength.

o Theism does neither lack anything divinity nor does it lack even anything evil, both of them are manmade concepts, the world was created as a perfect place for the existence of human race.

o Instead of just leaving us all alone in this troublesome world, He has sent few of His men and we can blindly follow them to resolve our own specific troubles with solutions ideated around age-old books written by great men and we don't need anybody to question our faith wherever it is.

both sides bore me, both the atheistic, & the theistic, because they both express only one aspect of the cartesian "equilibrium", namely the sum, rarely the the cogito; namely both sides are reactionary to each other, never exlusive of each other, always the two confined crude formants of antoganistic contras, never the middle-duality, always the polar-opposite-dichotomies... never congregationally dialectical, but always the disfunctional solipsistic, mono-exclusive, never the mutally-inclusive... this farce can only succumb to the "idea", to a "truth" for so long; after enough time passes, the former will seek the other for support, for some unison, to be forced into agreement... why? i find that the cogito aspect is the plataeu representation of the seemingly divergent sums... when one side claims to be a mountain, the other side claiming to be a valley... both come to the same conclusion: there's a plataeu... as some of us struggle uphill, some of us struggle downhill... we share the same struggles in comaparative "literature" on a plataeu.

well, **** me! if i had the same curry-tooth
for spices, as i might have a sweet-tongue
for spices, and i had enough
pointless rhetorical learning:
i would stack up a decent  harem...
  either that, or i find both atheists, as theists
equally boring... both being rigid in
their arguments: with one citing
their sacred word: reason! and the other citing
their sacred book: bible!
   i shwear, i just shwam
the length of a marathon...
sank a few u-boats in
between with torpedo farts...
never mind... i get the idea that not everyone
likes poetry...
and how poetry is really
a citation of pomp...
but not many scientists like philosophy,
and philosophy being
the first "science" didn't
like poetry...
    harsh man,
discrediting the power
of poetry,
you know you're spawning
more bad poets,
that you are spawning
convincing atheists
or theists?
you know that, don't you?
there are more poets
in the "centrist" ranks
than there are convincing
atheists or theists...
all i can see are grand
regurgitators...
   is bulimia in fashion
once more? it's not?!
you sure?
           you start to slack
of the power of poetic
"p.s." - the ability to turn
language into a "mathematic"
of allowing an abstract...
short-script...
people these days don't even
recognise diacritical marks!
let alone punctuation marks!
you're seriously talking
atheism / theism to me? really?!
you are speaking in
a language that's
exclusively noun-orientated...
e.g.: i am an atheist...
because? i think... think what?
who cares what you think?!
who gives a ******* toss
about what you think?!
you already told the other side:
i don't care what you feel!
brain in a pickle jar, are we?
judo yoda master, H, are we?
bomb the goon in green.
like one famous english atheist
said: oh yes, i was confirmed,
and i like christmas carols...
so you're not into byzantine monk
chants, not into your templar
cantos?
           what a shame... you're
missing on the "anti-scientific"
subjectivity...
sorry... mate...
                go 'un, scower among
the rats, in the sewers...
you know what your people named my
ethnicity... this is king rat talking;
the ******* waiting for?
another india as colonial prone
fertility?
                 i am just wondering:
will america, will canada, will australia
be so welcoming...
    i'm dying to know...
    i'd love to see, but frankly,
i'm a little bit occupied with this
taste in my mouth...
   it feels as if a tarantula bit me,
must be the star of anise sensation...
i'm "seeing" an eye in my mouth,
and two tongues waggling through
my eye-sockets...
                  it has just become boring
listen to one side cite a book, holy,
and the other side cite a word, also holy...
both sides seems the same as
was originally thought about poetry:
we best fill this space with as many bad
poets as possibly imaginable...
      and when i mean bad, i mean:
all to eager... esp. the english-teacher types
who require the labels of technique...
rhyme's dead... think up another
easily spotted technique...
if you ask the atheists or theists,
they'll provide you with an answer:
word salad, jargon, nonsense...
                  you think that sort of answer
isn't on their tongue?
    they prefer the idea of god / no god
within the framework of dear mr. smith,
yours sincirely of an automaton letter...
   both sides bore me...
thankfully, they can never really find
the likes of me, since finding me would
invoke a need to read me,
and that's outside their effort-zenith of
passive effort bound to the easily digestable
video... reading: ah! the evolved "chore"
of playing hide & seek... thank god...
or no god... they won't find me, because
these on the forefront of an "argument"
seek a passive audience...
   they need the *feeders...
they never appeal to the scrutinisers -
who watch them...
   huh? i'm deaf... you hear someone knocking
on the door?
       finally! reading takes effort!
    thank god i'm standing stark naked
in a field, and yet no one can seemingly
see me...
          then again, if i made a video of
myself, standing stark naked in a field,
or took a selfie... i just might become
a visible person... n'ah... can't be bothered...
this approach is easier to stomach
and take joy in.

*dare the devil to laugh...
but then the devil dares you back:
            i dare you to believe,
believe to answer the question:
who wears the trousers,
and who the skirt -
never mention the kilt;
ask me, ask "him",
when asking about  
the existence of my counterpart
of either "thought" or "being":
i too foresaw the void,
                and the counter: non.
some said god wore a skirt
and the devil the trousers...
others just said:
god wore a kilt,
        and the devil a kippah;
i beg to differ,
all genitals, circumcised or not,
wore the niqab of underwear;
i'm not mel brooks...
    i wasn't laughing writing that!
one of those dry, mug mongrel
bitten shoe jokes -
             dry-laughter akin to
a gin & tonic mixer...
        makes no difference whether
angels laugh or cry...
     good enough, as long as the devils
can conjure up a decent curry
and a blackbeard sharpshooter...
     feckled me...
   hell just seems just like a such nice
place... akin to what was just stated...
and a parisian cementary revised loop
bound to the earliest of what was
to be made of the 21st century.

I feel for the children
indoctrinated into religion.
I feel for the kids that can't,
won't question faith.

I feel fortunate I wasn't brainwashed
like that.
I feel my thoughts are my own,
I feel the theists have had that
stolen from them.
but I am intact.

only
when I realise I can't love
a catholic girl with
my everything
and my chest seizes up
when I hear them say grace,
I see I'm not better off
than they are.

in the same way that they have
been tricked to believe in a
celestial monarchy,
and see satan in me
so have I been tricked to see
satan in them.

I hate the church.
I thought I could still love the people.
but you can't hate anything
and still love the people.

I
and we all
have been rendered incapable
of fully accepting the implicit, fundamental unity
that does not name.

our parents didn't do it,
their grandparents didn't do it.
it started forever ago and it's
never going away.
we could of all loved each other
but we ****** up the axiom.
it's the greatest sin of all,
and it's nobody's fault.

What’s real and what’s not
I see through the mirror of my eyes reflecting my opinionated perspective
On the screen in front of me
The world
Black, White, Mexican, Asian, Mixed
In a melting *** flooded
With curry, and rice and beans, **** chicken, and goat
With hamburgers, and fries, macaroni and cheese, and granola bars
With queso fresco, crema, tortillas, and salsa verde
With Panda mother ******* Express and P.F. Changs
My mind is constantly swallowed by the odors of the foods that paint the cultures I’ve come to know
The past and the present hold each other

What’s real and what’s not
I see through the mirror of my eyes reflecting back my opinionated perspective
Was I swimming upstream against the current
In the concrete river
People
Shadows of people wandering by
Behind me and all around
Adjusting to the light
My eyes have been closed for three years
Destroying the things my brain once knew for certain
Twirling in and out of conscientiousness
Now in front
They were rude, or I was nice
The kind of nice that is tactful and seemingly honest
What is honesty
The propulsion of my perspective patronizing the populated and political landscape
Laid out before me
I’m ******
****** about the things I cannot change
The unknown

What’s real and what’s not
I see through the mirror of my eyes reflecting back my opinionated perspective
Jesus Christ
These bible thumping loath driven arrogant theists
All wrapped in the pages of a novel horribly written
By white guys
We never know if they existed
Using their paper to roll joints
The smoke is heavenly
The rapture of the earth
Jesus Christ plants that grow in the ground
Blooming with godlike odors affecting the mind
It runs slower or faster opens and closes
Slapping their wives when they return home from work
Cursing about how they’ve acted like children
Jesus Christ the congregation of family
The head of household
The hands planted in the ground
Gripping at gravel through tightened fists
Hair falling in face catching on tears
Jesus Christ

What’s right and what’s wrong
I see through the mirror of my eyes reflecting back my opinionated perspective
A blast through a door
Glass shattered on floor
Children’s wails running down halls
Walls chipped with pain
Revealing the stone
The foundation of violence
Guns don’t **** people
People **** people
Children silenced by the bang
Heavy breathing under teal blankets
Cotton and fabric torn to shreds at the sound
Blue turns red when it is exposed to air
Rivers running deep sinking through floor boards
Dripping on the faces of the family downstairs as they eat dinner
Chewing open mouthed
Licking lips in tenderness and gluttony
Painting their lips red with the blue that fell through
The ceiling

What’s right and what’s wrong
I see through the mirror of my eyes reflecting back my opinionated perspective
Hands touching lips, touching genitals, all drenched in fluid
Hearts beating
Bump bump, bump bump
And speeding with each ******
Bodies banging together
Eyes diverting, darting, dancing, anywhere but in the ones that gaze upon you
The thrusting, pumping, thumping and screaming
Putting on a show for the floor
For the walls that absorb the sound
“****, **** yeah, just like that”
The scrambling for clothes
Tripping over cans
Social lubricant        
That kept the eyes closed just enough
Or put on those goggles that somehow made you attractive

What’s right and what’s wrong
I see through the mirror of my eyes reflecting back my opinionated perspective
We only see through the eyes we own
And the eyes I own are bias
I hate parties and economic manipulation
Being a slave whipped by some man in a black or grey suit I can’t afford
Being pressed by advertisements that tell me I’m too fat to find love
Being strangled by the fiat that is determine to destroy artistic expression
Appling for education, and permits, and jobs that I may never get
Because the color of my skin is too dark
Because the sound of my voice is too light
Because I cannot stomach the lies that are perpetuated
And refuse to become part of a herd that screams
“Obama for president”
I am free
In the sense that my perspective is mangled
Changes each day
Eyes reflecting inward
Clawing at release and some small moment’s sense of comfort
Only to then breathe my last breath
To gasp one more time for air
Find enlightenment
And then die when truly
I will see through the mirror of my eyes
And it will reflect back my opinionated perspective

written while talking to a dear friend, Irene, who i met on my travels to Paris, and who i'm spotted with, in a photograph, by the Moulin Rouge, hunched in homage to Quasimodo, with Paul the wild haired australian.

i'm always depressed before composition
and the first whiskey to
stop me throwing up anything i might
ingest,
but then the seemingly graceless magpie
with its extended tail flies into eyesight,
then the blackbird, the crow, the seagull (huh?!
30 miles inland and a ****** seagull?)...
and then i open my eyes a second time,
take off the eyes that see lust gluttony colours
and shapes, and put on my x-ray spectacles
of looking at a white page and typing for a while...
and then a song crops up and it bothers me,
mortiis' parasite god from the album *the smell
of rain, if there is such a thing as a parasite god,
we'll be constantly thinking about it,
it will be an ontological implant of ours to
then debate whether we're atheists, theists,
gnostics or agnostics... it would be a burden, indeed
an oversized tapeworm to put it mildly -
but then the other description floating about,
the entitlement of a title, akin to prince, knight,
sir, baron or baroness or even a marquis...
the lord of hosts... and with vain attempt at sounding
in blossom of a magnolia tree attentive of courtesy,
a host is someone who contains a parasite,
why would i want to contain a parasite of thought in
me, that would necessarily sway me from denoting
myself an atheist, theist, etc.?
atheists do indeed uphold the principle stated in this
song i mentioned mortiis' parasite god;
i among the jews a parasite of the host of
ancient egypt;
i mean, they always say they're atheists or whatever,
they want that little sticker at a speed dating gathering
hello, my name is, queue (oh sorry,
Hugh), but when it comes to
defining what sort of thinking defines you as such and
such, it's vaguely satisfying to hear a presupposition label,
followed by a string of even more unsatisfying propositions,
and since i'm not a fisherman in that department,
i think i'll just stick to what i know, or at least what i think i know.

philosophy: and yes, we all believed in the insane asylum in the first place... at least the theists are suicidal... the atheists are hanging-on, mundane boors... listening to atheists is like listening to someone trying to erradicate the thesaurus... like someone trying to sharpen a staff... atheism is case of: stoppage of synonyms... because no philosophy book i've read invokes grammatical words, i.e. nouns, verbs... no argument in this direction is cool... the *** knows Tai Chi... i'm just waiting for a ******* to say it's Chinese!*

and beyond the counter to worship,
the atheistic argument
is bound to a lot of talk and thought...
when atheism does do much away with
prayer...
then secularism does...
let's just say: acknowledge the idiot...
   either pray... or think or talk
    and subsequently acknowledge
that sort of ultimatum...
       i can't agree on either pathos...
                    pray... or talk...
find enough Goebbels, and you'll
find enough like-minded manifestos
  of Englishmen...
                   and esp. Jews attired as
such... cos you weren't gangraped enough.
if you were a friend of a friend... and a friend that
said: biology... via the pharaoh's gambit...
                    you still wouldn't
consecrate their friendship over a steak,
but you would.
atheists don't have an argument,
they still abide to arguing his existence,
by thinking about him, or talking about him,
prayer seems the most lazy escapism
to the caged compensated comparison,
given we're all caged...
and escapist... and bound to escapism...
   you construct the pyramids!
you do!
    a bunch of quasi intellectuals!
    plainly stated: brick on brick!
you lay it down: down to: a word on word!

  i can have an argument...
   but i can't be even bothered to keep it...
  it just gets boring after a while,
and given that i'm not keeping the argument
for a way to shove food down my mouth...
      i just think atheism exists because
we have transcended so many natural obstacles...
personally? i'd rather hear a tsunami quake
than hear an atheist talk...
          and that's because so few of us will have
the actual argument in this stratosphere...
since most of us will probably rather the thrill
of a tornado... than a **** on our daily commute...
  even the Frankenstein monster will be more
attractive in experience than the roudabout of an atheist...
       women are least likely to champion atheism...
might be a quest for feeling...
                 with all the pathology...
                 rather than that other quest for feeling:
apathy...
  and that's really, truly, manly.
can we simply prescribe one label: i think?
   no... evidently we need many more labels.

it was really only about writing a haiku's worth of words.

a bit like listening to an atheist on the internet,
after spending 2 years reading kant's critique,
to find 3 arguments:
- ontological,
- cosmological argument
-  teleogical-physics...
and they're all refuted by the author as actually
leading to a "proof"...
and then to later find in his work that he simply
believes... or as i will state in my *******-esque
jargon... that he had the same emotional capacity
to comply with a woman in the grand adventure
of life, as i did, or do...
        there's a cheaper word to use to just say
for per se reason other than *****...
        atheism is just that...
                           that thing... really has the emotional
capacity of a gnat... oh look... no silent g...
               so three argument by kant,
all seemingly pointless: because we like kings to
exist and be "delusional" by the concept...
         of a god/s...
                               as to say: when did we stop
in being unable to relate? oh right... when we "got together"...
    fixed sayings, fixed meanings,
          i wish i could have stomached a relationship
with a woman... but then again: i wasn't too bright
to catch-up on being ambiguous...
       well... a woman explained it to me thus,
given the ******* profession...
       man has to be promiscous type
       so a woman can play her role as *amibuity;
no wonder man got bored and started to philosophise /
love of love - you really want to say loaf to loathe
and then see a V pop up...
           or at least that's what he said, when he got
bored of living within the capacity of a refrigerator
and being prompted by some hunt for affection...
spices... teasing, sniffing ashes...
            you never realise that the woman is an
ambiguity, and that man the promiscuity...
take that poetry... rhyme debukt... words that could
be echo... lying side by side.
   too late, doing the elvis aha or ahum or
ahahahum and then having a shower -
so he really did debunk the french theory of
the english stiff upper-lip?          

alternatively, some Pollockesque *******.

from kant giving his three arguments
for even trying to prove god to exist:
- ontological, for, but rather from
the basis of how you behave...
- the cosmological argument ...
- physico-teleogical (fizyko-teologicznego)
   / teleogical-physics...
oh look... a θ particle... must be sub-atomic
physics... since why wouldn't i
make the spelling mistake of writing teological?
   must be θeology... it's that crux
of digested syllables: tele- -ogical / te- -leo -g...
            te- -le- -ology?
tell a leo he's an aquarius?

and he thus concludes in his mini-novel
of easy reading session in
transcendental methodology
that all the three tiers of arguments are
without a scientific argument to be even
attempted...
    it's not that the result might be unproven,
or left like a barren desert
that asks for as much rain, as it does for hope...
he just argues that the three categories of
the mode of question attempted are deviod of
   any final overcoming sigh or sight to marvel at,
and states that the questions prefigure
a complete negation of asking them, in the first place,
what heidegger later calls: a throwing
into, or: a happening - that's trully necessary,
with any arguments as derelict houses;

or is that just in english, the germanic prefix
self-, that later ends up nothing but a cartwheel?
that's how they put it: self-help,
self-employment... self-confidence...
      what's that? motivation for a cyborg?

those are hefty things to consider,
given they are structured a bit like itemising
an atom: electrons (ontology) i.e.
in high-school they tell you electrons have
orbits, at university they tell you they are
clouds... then you sorta lose the plot
when they tell you that they don't behave
like clear units, but like quanta...
like life and death: now you see me, now you don't
type of "trick"...

thus

cruxing on 1, or working from 1...
of what can be said of the unison...
clearly i am not speaking unison, given that i'm working from
a bias of solitude... is it all conforming to a togetherness,
or is it just moving in the many diadem directions
looking awkward when dancing?

it doesn't matter: the language written when drinking
and fasting...

         atheism, having reached the end of kant's
critique, simply tells me of the emotional content of a person,
it's nothing too complicated,
                  it's an emotive construct,
   you have different emotional labyrinths for atheists
as you have for theists...
            some do things openly, lend themselves to
submission... others protest against such
juxtaposition of the body... since they are not gratifying
the "sacrifice" of women, who make themselves
prostate before the ritual...
   sound about right?
                       it must sound much much simpler:
if there was no phallus for a woman to prostate herself
there would be no god for man to do likewise...
          well... wouldn't you think that? esp. these
days with the pronoun war, the unearthing of the nag
hammadi library and it's obvious silent insolence
to be spread and firmly established...
the fact that some people actually own libraries
in their own personal space... and feminism?
    
let's call it a symbiosis...
   the difference between an atheist and a theist / deist
(by now, the close proximity of saying the two
words makes no sense, given the thesaurus and synonyms) -
at best, i can only see an atheist as someone
with an emotional construct that cannot accommodate a woman,
paradoxal: given kant...
who had the emotional capacity to be a theist,
but then able to translate it into having a spouse...

if it really is a case of / for atheism
the person will not speak plain sprechen...
    he will provide "looking behind the scenes"
of something akin to autism, the posh word is actually
all theory based: solipsism...

i really don't think actual atheists have the emotional
capacity to inscribe into their heart a word from a woman,
to have a heart capable for a woman's bloated
over-burdening O and A in biography.

atheism (a-      -the              and no ism)
   is like living with the left eye being unable to synchronise
with your right eye... it's not a case of being without
god... it's being without a woman...
                   a woman is like gravity,
it orientates a man, makes him do things...
            a woman is but gravity,
                           you fall into place as a man,

i don't know how much kant too pleasure from the feelings
he had with that she-devil he invented up there,
in the celestial library of licking out anuses...
   there really isn't a better way to probe the matter...
not after i spent such a long time

reading his three-tier argument, to only be rewarded with
the fact that he still said, at the end of it:
i believe.
                 who does that to a man?
           someone who will later laugh and say:
better you invested your time in some darling Clemency,
or June, or something that might be of use...
something that might make you sing akin to eric
clapton: wonderful tonight...
      it would actually help doing what i do if
i didn't have an artistic transcendentalism to back the argument
up with... testing the nerve and the part of me that
likes going to the toilet gym for a bit of sitting yoga...
alas... it's not there...

  the bane of living in england in the 21st century
compared to living in poland in the 20th century...
men went to the army for 3 compulsory years
  after graduating from school aged 21... or 19...
anyway... later than in current england, when you can
******* aged 16...
                 what a mistake to have entered university...
i'll never stop slapping myself for having
made such a mistake...
      
as of those who believe in gods, we also believe
     in being titans: basically at war with ourselves;
having written that, i'm going to dread having
to reread the rest i wrote, for typos in the excess of being
drunk.... and actually listening to eric clapton...
ugh! what's that word? that americanism?!
it's so nasal i don't even know how to spell it:
poodle / coo d and the plural e? sounds like ease,
or thereabouts.

Attacked!
Unattached!!
Unabated, unabashed!!!
The thirsty ocean
In hasty motion
Of nasty commotion
At a ghastly velocity
And unbridled ferocity
An uncalled Sandy,
The tempest so called
Of the titanic tide
With its swirling hydraulic eye
Literally stormed frantic Atlantic shores
And trampled lock stock n’ barrel
Swamped from castles to cattle
Uprooted deep rooted trees
Wreaked pell-mell hell on people
Leaving wrecks and rags
Do we call it lunatic fringe of nature?
Or divine design?
If so, punished whom for whose sin?
Theists or atheists may squabble.
All it needs is to heal

Attacked!
Unattached!!
Unabated, unabashed!!!
The thirsty ocean
In hasty motion
Of nasty commotion
At a ghastly velocity
And unbridled ferocity
An uncalled Sandy,
The Tempest so called
Of the titanic tide  
With its swirling hydraulic eye
Literally stormed frantic Atlantic shores
And trampled lock stock n’ barrel
Swamped from castles to cattle
Uprooted deep rooted trees
Wreaked pell-mell hell on people
Leaving wrecks and rags
Do we call it lunatic fringe of nature?
Or divine design?
If so, vengence on whom for whose sin?
Theists or atheists may squabble.
All it needs is to heal
And put life back on its wheels

Attacked!
Unattached!!
Unabated, unabashed!!!
The thirsty ocean
In hasty motion
Of nasty commotion
At a ghastly velocity
And unbridled ferocity
An uncalled Sandy,
The tempest so called
Of the titanic tide
With its swirling hydraulic eye
Literally stormed frantic Atlantic shores
And trampled lock stock n’ barrel
Swamped from castles to cattle
Uprooted deep rooted trees
Wreaked pell-mell hell on people
Leaving wrecks and rags
Do we call it lunatic fringe of nature?
Or divine design?
If so, punished whom for whose sin?
Theists or atheists may squabble.
All it needs is to heal
And put life back on its wheels

two songs, when i played guitar, before i shamed it silly into firewood? of my favourites... silverchair's shade, and link wray's rumble... otherwise the standard blues chords... under the bridge? yeah, i could do that... but since: chłopak z gitarą, był by dla mnie parą (a boy with a guitar, would suit me fine)... satan speaks better lies than a woman, so no, no thank you; oh please, knock yourself out... for one honest woman, there are about two male thieves waiting to stalk the night... for one dihonest woman... there are no males in sight.

not much music with atheists...
   jabba jabba jabba joobi job...
alt.?   dziabbah dziabbah
             dziabbah whom serve's
the sneeze's worth of argument...

theists?

  well... at least there's:
    fiddler on the roof...

   either silence, or song...
but conversation?!

   if i were a rich man...

  *yubby dibby dibby
            dibby dibby dibby
   dibby dum...

            i stopped talking after discovering
that english has no diacritical
distinctions... and doesn't treat
ch or sh as digraphs...
          
          this language is ******* barren in
technical terms...
  and then tha natives complain:
ooh, ooh, oog'ah oog'ah... ***** accent... huh ha huh...
******... begin with first base of
encoding your own waggle before
   talking to people about "funny" accents...
to me... you have a funny way of writing
with latin script... it's no wonder you had
an empire, and how suddenly it collapsed...
     by hiding your own diversity of accents,
from scottish, to australian, to south african,
to essex, to cockney, to welsh, to irish...
   yo' faackers r foo-king funny...
                             born 'n' bred... me ayes..
please... show me, a start of diacritical
    implementation on the ancient alphabet...
that you didn't actually invent,
      you're just a ******* stuart of latin...
you're no king, no more than i'm
     a beggar asking to peer into the cipher.

    oi! "adam"! put on some underwear,
dress the language up with some diacritical marks!
oh, oh wait... you can't...
             there are too many variations,
to many necessary exceptions to be made...
    
  y'all like drawl... americana nasal...
        wee *** some knee-jerks aww awound az...
                 wee ginna fwy sum kin-tuck-e
                             chee-ken fighs.
no ketchup i gether...
       n'ah mate...
                           we be coo-kin wi'
   a barbie sáùs;

        oh cool cool, b. dylan's blonde on blonde.

"If we meet no gods it is because we harbor none"
And I thought by now I would have garnered one

And how convenient it is to have a god
So in my groups I wouldn't be so odd

An atheist among theists is just as alone
As a peasant being given a throne

Ostracized by the nobles, yet above them
Given the duty to rule and to love them

Once I am done giving egregious groans
I can start standing straight these stones

If my heart cracked open and spilled around
It would drown a town in coffee grounds

And once we rummage through its rubble
No gods would burst from my bubble

No god inside nor without
Only solitude and doubt

upper tier of crosswords,
mental rubric,

      s                        a

         t             h            e
    
      r            t     

                      d             e
      
  
       shattered: quasi germanica

lexicon...

                  atom...

warm ***** and the chilled chaser...
or no chaser, hence
***** chilled to the consistency
of gome syrop...
liquidated clear liquorice...

Pazura (actor)
     und Warszawa (a capital
of a European nation...

      dziw... bo bez sfobody,
między... to eN...

ha ha ha ha...

e e Cummings conjuring
up the cOncEPt of orthography
in the native readers...
without exploring diacritical
mark application,
which, orthography rests upon...

    co ma gzyms do
       krawędzi
kiedy pietruszka
        o, zajob...
i ta świcąca trójci Pitta...
nie brody warta,
tylko tego, bolka jolka...
greckiego, fagasa...
    
a piernik do wiatraka?
ujebany, Sergio Pansa...

...to guwno, tzn. prl'u:
co czyni papa new guinea
pierdolonym 'omikiem?

suka morda brud...

    te kurwa... z... kreską!

bilingualist contra the polyglot,
UN of the latter,  
trenches and no man's land
of the former...

       6 Napoleons made
a dozen private Ryans...
      at Jena...
  'alf  frisky Burgundian...
'alf celibate Schwabian...

crosswords and the thesaurus
avenue...
   poetry...
    and the robert frost analogy...
Dante and Virgil...
Homer's solo
with a blind man' stick,
or rather...
Homer and Milton...
sitting in a tree...

      either a tongue bound
to the breath of Horace...
or the leash
      and warden skit...
     of the Minotaur...

somehow...
etymology always was,
and always will be,
the pedantic, bookish
version of history...

      so much so,
that etymology bypasses
the ridiculousness of
Darwinsm, of form, of Plato...

aeons pass before ape
differentiates
the vowel from the consonant
or the onomatopoeia
from the mimic from
the noun...

            then comes the continuum
crushing all genesis
theists, as well as all genesis
atheists...
      love, love... and you typical
Sunday afternoon...
        
slang as an anti-etymology...
           likewise the ape...
ape being slang, for man...
   slang as noun as colloquial,
rather than as proverbial..
staccato...
                  and all sort of
mannerismsms of the,
"less informed"...
  
                            only England scorns
bilingualism it would seem...
unless it has no post-colonial
uncle toms to boast of...

P.T.S.D. of the 1946 Kielce Pogrom...
ever so shocking,  
unlike the biblical credo:
go forth and multiply...
      in any other instances,
less memorable, collateral...
guess not enough cousin fucky-fucky...
1 Chew worth 1000 Chings...
      if not more...
Chew has a name, Ching has a number...
like the good ol' days...
bribing the ß-mann (eszettmann)
for Milka bishop choc bars.

Dance with the devil with
two chicken feet,
spilled beans
pills reeking of sin,
braided veins, clenching fists,
the Lord is my shepherd when
I'm the sheep,
manifesting brethren and manifestos
of governments,
depopulation of educated slaves,
drink from the cup that
defines your worth,
***** lips, thoughts in braille,
diabetic oldies and cabbages,
dead fetuses and tomatoes,
manhood and eggplants,
sterile women eating omelets,
abandoned kids eating goat meat,
buried underneath slubs,
subscribe to the notifications
of corrupted media,
mutating phobias, the feared is
the victim.
Poets and marijuana,
writers' block and emotionless poems,
******* eating molds,
fungus and bacteria foams.
Hide righteousness in a cloak,
dangling nerves have strangled
our generation!!!

Club Controller;
Boom bap,
*** shaking,
wombs filled with ghosts of babies,
Ovaries now main ingredients for corporate omelets.
Adam and Eve,
the dominant and the submissive,
Bitten forbidden fruit on Apple logos.
Artificial intelligence,
human negligence,
mummified peasants,
death is proud of its workspace.
Institutions judging
black ops as being too rebellious for success,
stores selling tumours
and diabetes symptoms.
Atheists and theists fighting in poetry pieces.
Innocent citizens dodging bullets whilst diving into graves,
mortuary polluted with the smell of corpses with gunpowder in small spaces.
Free our souls,
stop polishing the chains that shackle us,
remove handcuffs that have extended to our throats whilst we dangle from Amarula branches.
Deceived intellectuals,
searching for Nirvana in cannabis trips,
mocking poetry,
seeing Shakespeare as a founding father.
Deception poeticized,
corruption politicized!
The truth is my artery,
wisdom is my capillary,
poetry is the hidden mos code in my fingerprints.
Poetry is the stem to
ascend truth into the human language,
use it for no social
media whilst
marketing for likes!!!

deus est genesis ex cogitans, cogitans est ex genesis absque deus: res ultimatum res: libido telepathos.

we have a name for *it
namely god,
   a noun encompassed
within the framework
of the noumenon -
        but when a phenomenon
arrives,
   there's the deus est mort
moment that claims all
forms of interpretation
as un-sourced,
    without any footnote,
       allowance / certainity...
there's a name for it,
   but at the same time
there's the non-existence of it:
shielded by ulterior names;
but whether id est or
  whether id non est -
  there will forver remain
in our vocabulary a noun
of some sort, to denote
           that "know" unit among
the polyphony of facts yet
to be known to us....
       and remaining unknown:
0 is by no compenstation
a worthy vector basis...
  but 1?
           a spear, a throwing
exemplified?
           i'm fine with that...
as long as we begin from point
(a) and head toward point (b)...
why do atheists like
christmas carols,
  of byzantine chants of the monks?
what a ****** group of atheists
liking christmas carols over
byzantine chants of monks;
nonetheless,
   what could ever come evolutionary
from descartes' res cogitans
regarding man?
   well, the kantian reinvention
of descartes' god,
                given descartes' man:
for if man be res cogitans -
                   then god is res per se;
who's existence / non-existence
perpetuates itself by
being attached to the spiderweb
of thought,
         and never the empirical
suggestion of being sensed,
never seen, never heard, never touched,
in that diabolical pentagram of
being defended by a satan...
   yet how unfathomable to think,
and yet to think of what
deems a necessity to be thought of...
    perhaps in an atheistically
fathomable personna non grata
explanation of god...
               nonetheless a form of coordination
to suggest origin and end purpose...
   transcending the mundane
travesty of the final unwished
                   fathoming that's death...
every philosopher will ask:
why think of god as a ritualistic
entity?
          why are we to assume it being
evolved from the realm of pronouns
to the realm of nouns, and with
that evolution... so many of nouns
attached!
         72 in judaism, 99 in islam!
if those who believe attest to a god,
then so do the atheists,
although without a ritualistic angle,
but a cognitive angle of "concern",
for they see god as a personna non grata,
yet by the argument
               of negating the existence of,
they invoke the existence of,
        and deny themselves
    the status of being anti-theists...
  they enforce the existence of a god,
and shelter themselves in
the rhetoric of being anti-religious,
anti-ritualistic...
              for whatever argument
they have, there's the pre-
   to every "supposition" -
                       that they turn into
a pro- *         that somehow translates
into a *supposition,
  atheism doesn't even ask,
atheism is a sophistry of
          some sort...
                   unless expressed in a
communist collective,
               it amounts to nothing but
jargon, a word salad...
               of **** me,
    pleasant on the ear,
                 but a maggot on the mind.

These robes of lost promised hope
threads entangled by discord
hung in tatters by long abuse
by the rulers of this world

vestments tarnished without regard
for the hope that’s been lost
believers searching among the bones
finding only a sad heirloom

when wrapped tightly to evoke
happiness sought above all else
this is the pledge lost to deceit
surviving only in servant’s thoughts

the threads unravel by day’s end
an emperor left without their clout
still the theists long for a time
hope delayed on the decline.

© 2019. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20190718.