Maybe I should just **** myself. Maybe thag will make you ******* happy. It is always my ******* fault. My ******* flaws. I cannot take anymore. You say I was the worst mistake you ever made. You repeatedly tell me I'm useless, fat ugly and that I should die. You don't think twice before saying such hurtful words. If the one person who is supposed to love me no matter what calls me such things, maybe I really should just **** myself because life is not worth living. **** her. **** this **** because I am done b

When I was little you told me I could be anything I wanted.
No one looked twice when I shopped in the boys section,
When I wore dark blues and grays instead of pink,
When I played in the mud or with other boys,
When I refused to hear my hair down,
Or when I siad I thought I was a boy.

When I got older you no longer thought it cute but we're not worried quite yet.
You told me that the lumps on my chest were beautiful despite my protests.
You told me that I would change and thag being a tomboy was temporary.
You told me that one day I would love dresses, pink, and makeup.
You told me that I woulf grow out of it soon enough even though I told yoy I wouldn't.

In the final years of high school you began to worry and I began to breathe as things became clear.
You noticed that not once have I worn a dress since you stopprd forcing me to.
You noticed my web pages I left open that read Top surgery or Testosterone.
You noticed the lumps on my chest grew smaller as I bought better binders.
You noticed my hair steadily becoming shorter after every single haircut.
You noticed the letter on the counter that read a few simple word. If yoy haven't noticed... I'm transgender.

The exasperated sunlight beamed over the bottom lace of my show , the bus ride seemed intrepid but I guess you could say it was the whiskey that brought me there
As I say I got off on the wrong foot the wrong stop , so here began my journey
The walk thru the small city , where the vendors sold their merchandise,  streets dedicated to bartering, the congregation sat and day dreamed about the love and sadness they never got to feel

Jubilation took over me and the hot sun didn't seem that bad anymore
My eyes were fixed on the tallest tree
Clairvoyant
I knew that you laid in the grass , and thought about my arrival
How I looked
How I smelled
How I felt
Cupidity filled both of what we'd like to call our hearts at the time
But I'd be lying if I said the hour bus long ride was for your exasperated ****
Your heart spoke to me
Like the froth of the sea
You stirred what was left of my imagination
The deep depths of my subconscious spoke to me and there I was yours

Arriving to the park I circled 2 times looking for my future
But I couldn't seem to find what I was looking for so I sat
Anxiously awaiting your arrival
Then there it was! A minute later
You came trailing to me
Ebulliently I payed attention to your every step
Because then and there my life changed forever more
You were filled with something I never quite seen
The sun radiated of your thighs and hips but you were swaddled by the trees shade
I studied every crease
I studied your eyes
Your lips that were a oasis of ice freezing water in the lowest dooms of the hottest deserts
Your hair that was possessed by the slow winds and your feet that walked the same ground as I
Your fingers and the nails that resigned on them
Your chin and the curves of your face
Your ears and the wax they contained
I was never more in love , deeply madly , unconditionally
"Love at first sight may sound trite but it's true you know, I coukd list the details of everything u ever wore or said"

Then you greeted me
Effulgent
Luminous
Zealous

Before we knew it, we were buying liquid courage
The courage thag makes you wanna feel and love
Do stuff you will never be ashamed of
You laid ur head on my shoulder and I felt it
I felt the eaze
the sensation tingled up my spine and left me scared
It was hard to say
But you made the first move
As you always like to state (haha)
Other than this poem stuff
I'd like to say
I've never met anyone as gentle and loving as you
I've never been so attached to a PERSON
I've never been so in love that it makes me want to cry
I've never knew relationships or friendship till I met you
You make me another kind of happy
You lift me I when I cry
And you love me when I need it most
I can't wait to spend eternity with you my wild love
Now my phone Is on 5% I'll greet you with a hello kiss someday in the future my love

that you talked **** about me

NINE YEARS. AND IM USING YOU? OH *******. YOUR SECOND FAMILY. YOUR “FATHER FIGURE.” AN EXTRA PLACE TO STAY. ALL THAG FROM ME



AND IM USINF YOU?? ******* IM KILLING MUSELF **** UOU **** EVERYTHING THERES NO ******* OOINT ANYMORE GOOD ******* BYE I ******* HATE YOU *******