ngayon ko lang napansin. sobrang dami ko palang isinulat para sa'yo. ngayon ko lang napansin na lahat sila galing sa mga katabi kong diksyonaryo at tesauro. malay ko ba kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng mga isinulat ko. lumalaki pa lamang ako. ngayon pa lang natututong makipagtalastasan, makipagbalagtasan, makipagsagutan, makipag-away. ngayon pa lang akong natututong maghintay at ngayon pa lang nasusugatan. ngayon ko lang nalaman ang tunay na ibig sabihin ng paniniwala. paniniwala sa pagkahulog, paniniwala sa kung anumang gusto kong paniwalaan. paniniwala na meron ka pang mapapaniwalaan dito sa mundo. kapit ka, subukan mo. ngayon pa lang akong nagtitiwalang muli. ngayon pa lang nagpapatawad. ngayon pa lang nakakapagsabi ng 'mahal kita', nang walang pagdududa at walang pagsisisi. mahal ko talaga sila. ngayon ko pa lang nararamdaman ang tunay na pag-ibig. ngayon ko pa lang nakikita kung paano magmahal ang isang taong nasasaktan. ngayon pa lang ako nakakita ng taong durog at winasak ng panahon — marahil dati puro sa teleserye ko lang ito napapanood. noong pumunta kami sa isang museo, napakaraming uri ng sining na maaari **** makita. may mga head busts, paintings, sculptures, pati mga ginamit ng mga pintador na brushes at pati na rin mga natuyong pintura nila. tinignan ko lahat iyon. umabot ng halos labindalawang oras ang pag-iikot ko. walang kain-kain. kinailangan kong makita lahat. ngunit ngayon ko lang napagtanto na iisa lang naman 'yung gusto ko talagang makita. ('yung spolarium.) ngayon lang ako nakarinig ng mga taong wala talagang kamuang-muang sa mundo. 'yung tipo ng taong nakaupo sa ginto ngunit talagang lumaking tanga. nakakaawa sila. ngayon ko pa lang pinapangaralan 'yung sarili ko. kanina nga lang ako nagsabi sa sarili na hindi na ako kakain ng fast food at processed food. (seryoso. nakakamatay talaga sila.) sa pagkamatay ng nakaraan, noon ko lang nasabi sa sarili ko na gusto ko pa talagang mabuhay. gusto ko pang makakita. gusto ko pang makaramdam.

ngayon pa lang ako natututong magsulat.

Maybe, just maybe...
Maybe I’m not the same as they are,
Maybe I’m not as how others would follow a rule,
Maybe I’m not as someone who would want to be enclosed,
Maybe I’m someone who somehow wants to break free.

From a bounding household,
The place where love was first found,
The place where love was first felt,
The place they said was not made out of walls,
But a place filled with love and hope.

However, I was not the same as to how I was before,
I am not the princess, they loved and behold,
I am not the angel, they reached to believed,
Maybe I’m me, I’m someone who wants to break free.

From what was once believed to be good, and how things were ought to be,
The doubts that was given, and the things my heart chases,
Are somehow against to some of their will,
And something that separates me from the things i want to do.

I want to believe that somehow I can,
That the doubts they give are out of hand,
I want them to believe in what my reality might be,
And not some teleserye conclusion they may think I might be.

This love I found, Im still ought to prove,
That this is not something they should stop me,
That this is something they should believe in,
In moments, I felt alone, in that bounding home,
I found warmth in arms, that was neither or even the ones I thought for it to be.

Maybe, just maybe,
I’m tired of being enclosed,
I’m tired of being that girl they know would follow,
I’m tired of following other people’s opinion,
I’m tired of knowing I can’t be more of what I believe I am.

Maybe, I want my actions to be a reflection of my own,
I want that the things that I do, is something they should believe in,
I want my live my life the way I want to live it,
I want to be free to do my own actions.

Maybe, just maybe,
I don’t want those eyes that looks at me, as if one small thing that I do can affect the whole of me.
I don’t want my actions to be viewed as something that is bad, I just want to feel free, I just want to feel less secured that I used to be.

Maybe, just maybe,
You should listen to me...
Listen to the words my heart wants to say,
The words that my mind has made,
The words that doesn’t contradict my actions.
The words, the words I wanted to say.

Here is a list of things that are bigger,
greater than all of the world's oceans,
bigger than the storms in the seas,
than all the islands in the Pacific,
connecting all of us together,
being one great channel of culture...
Telenovela, chismes, galeones,
teleserye, chismis, galleon.
𝘚𝘪𝘣𝘢𝘵 𝘯𝘪 𝘓𝘢𝘱𝘶-𝘓𝘢𝘱𝘶, 𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘢𝘵 𝘯𝘪 𝘔𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘯.
𝘌𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘥𝘢 𝘯𝘪 𝘔𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘯? 𝘒𝘢𝘩𝘶𝘭𝘶𝘨𝘢𝘯 𝘯𝘨 𝘬𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘢𝘯.
Sangría? No, sangre de Magallanes.
𝘕𝘪ñ𝘰𝘴, 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘦𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘢 𝘦𝘯 𝘷𝘦𝘻
𝘥𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘻𝘢𝘳 𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘰 𝘨𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴.
And believe it or not;
Bulerías, danza, bachata, habaneras.
How do you like your coffee, bebe?
Con leche? Bueno.
Evaporada and condensada?
Tequila, San Miguel, Mezcal, Corona,
Cerveza, Serbesa, Cerrado, Sarado.
𝘈𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘰 𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘨𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘢,
𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘶𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘦𝘭𝘰.
Actually, how do you like your coffee?
𝘛𝘦 𝘨𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘢 𝘦𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘧é?
𝘚𝘪 𝘯𝘰, 𝘯𝘰 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘰 𝘲𝘶𝘦 𝘱𝘶𝘦𝘥𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘶 𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘰.
So do you like it hot or con hielo?
And of course;
Canciones, c/kanta,
And nowㅡreggateon, budots.
Gasolina? Aserejé? Macarena?
Bad Bunny, being our new Columbus.
Playitas, islas, karagatan, nuestro paraíso.
Mas chismes, mas tazas de cafe.
How do you think we're so far yet so alike?
Of all these things? Con chisme? Claro.
So which one first? The juiciest or latest?