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Joshua Marshall Apr 2021
In my dreams, I rewrite the
words I spoke to you
that only made you hurt,
but I know that it
does not work.
I will write what
I can say; I am sorry
I spoke that way.

Now, the rest is up
to you; what will you
do with me?

In my dreams, I travel back
through spacetime;
I try to make you
mine, but it
takes ten lifetimes.
I will dream how I
might have been selected
by you;
I am sorry my dreams
did not come true.

Now, the rest is up
to you; what will you
do with me?

I am sorry, Sydnee;
I swept you off your
feet from afar, but it is better
this way.
If you had known me better,
I might have sent a dozen
letters.

The loving letter held
the truth, but I
would take
both of them away from
you.

I will write what I can
say; I am sorry
I spoke that way.

Now, the rest is up to
you; what will you
do with me?
In real life, I have no idea what her reaction was. I don't know if she was hurt by it, but if I could take it back, I would.
Jacob Martinez Dec 2018
I feel these voices in my veins
Static on every channel
These cockroaches fill my mouth and eat my tongue, fill my lungs
These noises are all that remain
Lost
Lost at sea
Hoping me can find me
Only feeling the distance that these put between we
Boiling till seepage pours from me
Every pore and Orpheus
The tar that fills my heart, and pumps through and through
Till I’m met with my metamorphosis
Till I rot and fall apart
Maggots under my skin again
Whispering To pull the solution
Winters coming
The Cold pierces my skin
I can feel again
I can see again
I’m ugly
These shattered pieces gives them all a face
insanity
Thinking this will cause change
Please tell my family that I’m sorry that I love them
Please tell Sydnee I’m sorry that I still love her
Please tell everyone I’m sorry that I love them
Please tell god that I’m sorry
Please tell everyone that I’m sorry for saying sorry too many times
Please tell my family that I’m sorry for not being strong enough
Please tell god that I’m sorry for not being good enough
Please tell them all not to worry
I’m just a cancer, a virus
A poison in my blood
A toxin in my body
Somebody I could never love
I’m just an obstruction to my happiness
I’ll drown in my madness, trapped in this heart of malice
The seepage will seep inside again
And you’ll see you’re smiling son
And you’ll see you’re laughing friend
Once again
For another day or ten
It’s a cycle
One I can not predict
So please excuse me for all that I am, for all that I can offer
An apology for being a burden

— The End —