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A Child’s Story

Hamelin Town’s in Brunswick,
By famous Hanover city;
The river Weser, deep and wide,
Washes its wall on the southern side;
A pleasanter spot you never spied;
But, when begins my ditty,
Almost five hundred years ago,
To see the townsfolk suffer so
From vermin, was a pity.

Rats!
They fought the dogs, and killed the cats,
And bit the babies in the cradles,
And ate the cheeses out of the vats,
And licked the soup from the cook’s own ladles,
Split open the kegs of salted sprats,
Made nests inside men’s Sunday hats,
And even spoiled the women’s chats,
By drowning their speaking
With shrieking and squeaking
In fifty different sharps and flats.

At last the people in a body
To the Town Hall came flocking:
“’Tis clear,” cried they, “our Mayor’s a noddy;
And as for our Corporation—shocking
To think we buy gowns lined with ermine
For dolts that can’t or won’t determine
What’s best to rid us of our vermin!
You hope, because you’re old and obese,
To find in the furry civic robe ease?
Rouse up, Sirs! Give your brains a racking
To find the remedy we’re lacking,
Or, sure as fate, we’ll send you packing!”
At this the Mayor and Corporation
Quaked with a mighty consternation.

An hour they sate in council,
At length the Mayor broke silence:
“For a guilder I’d my ermine gown sell;
I wish I were a mile hence!
It’s easy to bid one rack one’s brain—
I’m sure my poor head aches again
I’ve scratched it so, and all in vain.
Oh for a trap, a trap, a trap!”
Just as he said this, what should hap
At the chamber door but a gentle tap?
“Bless us,” cried the Mayor, “what’s that?”
(With the Corporation as he sat,
Looking little though wondrous fat;
Nor brighter was his eye, nor moister
Than a too-long-opened oyster,
Save when at noon his paunch grew mutinous
For a plate of turtle green and glutinous)
“Only a scraping of shoes on the mat?
Anything like the sound of a rat
Makes my heart go pit-a-pat!”

“Come in!”—the Mayor cried, looking bigger:
And in did come the strangest figure!
His queer long coat from heel to head
Was half of yellow and half of red;
And he himself was tall and thin,
With sharp blue eyes, each like a pin,
And light loose hair, yet swarthy skin,
No tuft on cheek nor beard on chin,
But lips where smiles went out and in—
There was no guessing his kith and kin!
And nobody could enough admire
The tall man and his quaint attire:
Quoth one: “It’s as my great-grandsire,
Starting up at the Trump of Doom’s tone,
Had walked this way from his painted tombstone!”

He advanced to the council-table:
And, “Please your honours,” said he, “I’m able,
By means of a secret charm, to draw
All creatures living beneath the sun,
That creep or swim or fly or run,
After me so as you never saw!
And I chiefly use my charm
On creatures that do people harm,
The mole and toad and newt and viper;
And people call me the Pied Piper.”
(And here they noticed round his neck
A scarf of red and yellow stripe,
To match with his coat of the selfsame cheque;
And at the scarf’s end hung a pipe;
And his fingers, they noticed, were ever straying
As if impatient to be playing
Upon this pipe, as low it dangled
Over his vesture so old-fangled.)
“Yet,” said he, “poor piper as I am,
In Tartary I freed the Cham,
Last June, from his huge swarms of gnats;
I eased in Asia the Nizam
Of a monstrous brood of vampire-bats;
And, as for what your brain bewilders,
If I can rid your town of rats
Will you give me a thousand guilders?”
“One? fifty thousand!”—was the exclamation
Of the astonished Mayor and Corporation.

Into the street the Piper stepped,
Smiling first a little smile,
As if he knew what magic slept
In his quiet pipe the while;
Then, like a musical adept,
To blow the pipe his lips he wrinkled,
And green and blue his sharp eyes twinkled
Like a candle flame where salt is sprinkled;
And ere three shrill notes the pipe uttered,
You heard as if an army muttered;
And the muttering grew to a grumbling;
And the grumbling grew to a mighty rumbling;
And out of the houses the rats came tumbling.
Great rats, small rats, lean rats, brawny rats,
Brown rats, black rats, grey rats, tawny rats,
Grave old plodders, gay young friskers,
Fathers, mothers, uncles, cousins,
Cocking tails and pricking whiskers,
Families by tens and dozens,
Brothers, sisters, husbands, wives—
Followed the Piper for their lives.
From street to street he piped advancing,
And step for step they followed dancing,
Until they came to the river Weser,
Wherein all plunged and perished!
- Save one who, stout a Julius Caesar,
Swam across and lived to carry
(As he, the manuscript he cherished)
To Rat-land home his commentary:
Which was, “At the first shrill notes of the pipe
I heard a sound as of scraping tripe,
And putting apples, wondrous ripe,
Into a cider-press’s gripe:
And a moving away of pickle-tub-boards,
And a leaving ajar of conserve-cupboards,
And a drawing the corks of train-oil-flasks,
And a breaking the hoops of butter-casks;
And it seemed as if a voice
(Sweeter far than by harp or by psaltery
Is breathed) called out ‘Oh, rats, rejoice!
The world is grown to one vast drysaltery!
So munch on, crunch on, take your nuncheon,
Breakfast, supper, dinner, luncheon!’
And just as a bulky sugar-puncheon,
All ready staved, like a great sun shone
Glorious scarce and inch before me,
Just as methought it said ‘Come, bore me!’
- I found the Weser rolling o’er me.”

You should have heard the Hamelin people
Ringing the bells till they rocked the steeple.
“Go,” cried the Mayor, “and get long poles!
Poke out the nests and block up the holes!
Consult with carpenters and builders,
And leave in our town not even a trace
Of the rats!”—when suddenly, up the face
Of the Piper perked in the market-place,
With a, “First, if you please, my thousand guilders!”

A thousand guilders! The Mayor looked blue;
So did the Corporation too.
For council dinners made rare havoc
With Claret, Moselle, Vin-de-Grave, Hock;
And half the money would replenish
Their cellar’s biggest **** with Rhenish.
To pay this sum to a wandering fellow
With a gypsy coat of red and yellow!
“Beside,” quoth the Mayor with a knowing wink,
“Our business was done at the river’s brink;
We saw with our eyes the vermin sink,
And what’s dead can’t come to life, I think.
So, friend, we’re not the folks to shrink
From the duty of giving you something for drink,
And a matter of money to put in your poke;
But, as for the guilders, what we spoke
Of them, as you very well know, was in joke.
Beside, our losses have made us thrifty.
A thousand guilders! Come, take fifty!”

The Piper’s face fell, and he cried
“No trifling! I can’t wait, beside!
I’ve promised to visit by dinner-time
Bagdat, and accept the prime
Of the Head Cook’s pottage, all he’s rich in,
For having left, in the Calip’s kitchen,
Of a nest of scorpions no survivor—
With him I proved no bargain-driver,
With you, don’t think I’ll bate a stiver!
And folks who put me in a passion
May find me pipe to another fashion.”

“How?” cried the Mayor, “d’ye think I’ll brook
Being worse treated than a Cook?
Insulted by a lazy ribald
With idle pipe and vesture piebald?
You threaten us, fellow? Do your worst,
Blow your pipe there till you burst!”

Once more he stepped into the street;
And to his lips again
Laid his long pipe of smooth straight cane;
And ere he blew three notes (such sweet
Soft notes as yet musician’s cunning
Never gave the enraptured air)
There was a rustling, that seemed like a bustling
Of merry crowds justling at pitching and hustling,
Small feet were pattering, wooden shoes clattering,
Little hands clapping and little tongues chattering,
And, like fowls in a farmyard when barley is scattering,
Out came the children running.
All the little boys and girls,
With rosy cheeks and flaxen curls,
And sparkling eyes and teeth like pearls,
Tripping and skipping, ran merrily after
The wonderful music with shouting and laughter.

The Mayor was dumb, and the Council stood
As if they were changed into blocks of wood,
Unable to move a step, or cry
To the children merrily skipping by—
And could only follow with the eye
That joyous crowd at the Piper’s back.
But how the Mayor was on the rack,
And the wretched Council’s bosoms beat,
As the Piper turned from the High Street
To where the Weser rolled its waters
Right in the way of their sons and daughters!
However he turned from South to West,
And to Koppelberg Hill his steps addressed,
And after him the children pressed;
Great was the joy in every breast.
“He never can cross that mighty top!
He’s forced to let the piping drop,
And we shall see our children stop!”
When, lo, as they reached the mountain’s side,
A wondrous portal opened wide,
As if a cavern was suddenly hollowed;
And the Piper advanced and the children followed,
And when all were in to the very last,
The door in the mountain-side shut fast.
Did I say, all? No! One was lame,
And could not dance the whole of the way;
And in after years, if you would blame
His sadness, he was used to say,—
“It’s dull in our town since my playmates left!
I can’t forget that I’m bereft
Of all the pleasant sights they see,
Which the Piper also promised me:
For he led us, he said, to a joyous land,
Joining the town and just at hand,
Where waters gushed and fruit-trees grew,
And flowers put forth a fairer hue,
And everything was strange and new;
The sparrows were brighter than peacocks here,
And their dogs outran our fallow deer,
And honey-bees had lost their stings,
And horses were born with eagles’ wings:
And just as I became assured
My lame foot would be speedily cured,
The music stopped and I stood still,
And found myself outside the Hill,
Left alone against my will,
To go now limping as before,
And never hear of that country more!”

Alas, alas for Hamelin!
There came into many a burgher’s pate
A text which says, that Heaven’s Gate
Opes to the Rich at as easy rate
As the needle’s eye takes a camel in!
The Mayor sent East, West, North, and South,
To offer the Piper, by word of mouth,
Wherever it was men’s lot to find him,
Silver and gold to his heart’s content,
If he’d only return the way he went,
And bring the children behind him.
But when they saw ’twas a lost endeavour,
And Piper and dancers were gone for ever,
They made a decree that lawyers never
Should think their records dated duly
If, after the day of the month and year,
These words did not as well appear,
“And so long after what happened here
On the Twenty-second of July,
Thirteen hundred and seventy-six”:
And the better in memory to fix
The place of the children’s last retreat,
They called it, the Pied Piper’s Street—
Where any one playing on pipe or tabor
Was sure for the future to lose his labour.
Nor suffered they hostelry or tavern
To shock with mirth a street so solemn;
But opposite the place of the cavern
They wrote the story on a column,
And on the great Church-Window painted
The same, to make the world acquainted
How their children were stolen away;
And there it stands to this very day.
And I must not omit to say
That in Transylvania there’s a tribe
Of alien people that ascribe
The outlandish ways and dress
On which their neighbours lay such stress,
To their fathers and mothers having risen
Out of some subterraneous prison
Into which they were trepanned
Long time ago in a mighty band
Out of Hamelin town in Brunswick land,
But how or why, they don’t understand.

So, *****, let you and me be wipers
Of scores out with all men—especially pipers:
And, whether they pipe us free, from rats or from mice,
If we’ve promised them aught, let us keep our promise.
Last time was this time that time, but next time like the first time we met the first time
gets better.

We set sprats to catch mackerel and fish for compliments while the whales sit on couches and watch television, repeats and retreats and it beats me how the sea cow gives no milk.

But this time brings time into focus again and I rise with the dawn to bring the then into now and the day limbers up as I do my bit and sit down for a tea, a cigarette lit, a cough with a wheeze, two Weetabix please and this time gets better every time that I'm sat here.

She comes about ten and by then things are done, the plates have been washed, the laundry is hung and we wait for a bus, the ten twenty-three,
to Putney, and on the heath, there we will be
like the last time but this time,
I remember the first time I met her when I thought to myself that this could get better and it did,
so you see,
while sprats catch a mackerel or is it the other way round it all follows on and back on dry ground you're bound to make a connection in the mystery of the lines that cross in and out of those times last the last times.
Mateuš Conrad May 2020
yes... cold-turkey for a day...
the one will do it...
i just smoked a second one...
and the "hit" is not as benevolent...
simple arithmetic...
a carton is 200 cigarettes...
that's 200 days...
if i stick to this "pattern"...
no pointless cigarettes...
with coffee first thing in the morning:
on the medical "fast"...
after a grand meal...
cold-turkey throughout the day...
one balanced with a generous
amount of bourbon: surfing
the night-cap...
this could work...
      no... no point paying homage
to the romance of rolling tobacco...
a single marlboro will do...
esp. if it comes from eastern europe...
to have to start to treat it
as homage... something...
sacred... that's better than simply
quitting...
much... much better...
this late pseudo-caffeine hit
in the day...
first day... 2 cigarettes in a drinking
session is unnecessary...
one will do...
receptors become blunted...
and now the gratification from
"over-stepping" the mark...
and the gratification of...
not bound to a tarantula numbing-bite...
something has to make sense in
this world: let's begin with this...

i.e. thank god i do not make videos...
writing doesn't really allow
for... what happens with
a video... there's the preserved:
address to the writer...
and the medium of the reader...
rarely will you find yourself
bound to read two readers
competing: for the crown
prince of echo chamber...
not that i'd reply... no higher power...
a laptop... no mobile device...
the internet access is static...

2 is a "magic" number...
after 2 i imagines the gateway: fully opened
for the orc horde of dwugs:
      i'm standing: upright... content...
to tease the addiction...
as if: "as if" for the very first time...
cold turkey my ***...
because of covid-19 "discrepancies"...
no "black market" cheap cigarettes
from moldova...
or romania... poland, ukraine or
bulgaria...

            checked the feed-drip...
cold-turkey for a day...
complete the day with a cigarette...
200 cigarettes in a carton at...
£35... that's what... per annum?
       365... we're talking about...
roughly... 50 quids worth...
of: taming this beast...

                 for a year...
                              yes... this could
very much work...
            and what is the perfect sandwich...
of... extravagance?
a bagel... or some toasted rye...
english butter... smoked salmon...
cucumber... dill... mayonnaise...
and... rainbow trout caviar...
is caviar "all that"?
     it's like marmite... you either love it:
or... hate it...
it's not a luxury... if it was...
a luxury... it would be universally sought
after...
it would be a luxury... for both the rich...
as it would be for the poor...

minor note: how were oysters treated
in Dickensian times?
weren't oysters the food of the poor?
and now? suddenly they have become
a luxury product...
something only the rich are supposed
to enjoy... cods-wallop!

caviar is not a luxury...
but... if you're asking questions about
a palette...
rainbow trout caviar balances out
the smoked salmon...
truly... the fish retains its status as fish...
and the smokiness is tamed...
almost subverted...

the cucumber the dill the mayonnaise...
auxiliary details...
but of course the cemented base:
toasted rye works as many more:
lazarus resurrected miracles as a bagel...

caviar is not a luxury...
in st. petersburg there's this pancake
fast-food outlet... where caviar is dripping...
there are copious amounts of this
**** dished out...
not everyone buys the caviar panny...
because: caviar is not a status symbol
of luxury... it's in the category of marmite...
it's for oddities...
       it's equivalent to... a concentrated
taste of fish...
burst a pill of shark oil fat... omega 3 etc...
perhaps...
    
  once upon a time... TRAN...
was forced upon children in school...
so they could harbour a strong immune system...
tran? cod-liver oil... no... not in capsules...
on the end of a teaspoon...

can i imagine eating caviar...
beside the zenith of the above described
sandwich? well... yeah...
but it wouldn't be rainbow-trout caviar...
beluga / caspian sea caviar...
on the tip of... a slice of...
a napoli pizza...
    anchovies do not have a taste
of fish... salty shrimp whittle wichards...
the best fish: are ate...
with all their bones intact...
sometimes even their heads and eyes...
like...
           smoked... sprats...
nonetheless: caviar is not a luxury product...
nor is blue cheese...
who doesn't have...
a taste for... the "obscene"?

   peanuts and beer in the grand hall of
the west...
in st. petersburg... beer and dehydrated
shrimps... fish...
same ****... different cover...
i much prefer the extra guise of protein
over the fat of nuts... with a beer...

as a warning: oysters were... in Dickensian times...
eaten by the poor of the east end...
and caviar... that's like marmite...
or... salt & vinegar crisps...
you need to appreciate the piquant
detail of the food...
champagne... for example?
i can't drink that fuzzy-brain
anorexic ***** juice of cat... whiskers for
a violin... snarl... shreek...

caviar is not a luxury...
a luxury would imply: a universal...
translation... that... all those who could:
would want it... as much as those who
can't: would strive to also want it:
with enough savings to begin with: could...
but... caviar is marmite...
then again... smoked salmon is marmite...
a steak tartar(e) is  marmite...
i'd call a slab of beef: well done
to be... a doubly-butchered piece of meat...
others... are fond of... fish-fingers...

this can be done...
i can keep track of this choo-choo-train...
200 cigarettes per carton...
that's beyond half a year...
     cold turkey the day...
no... 2 cigarettes is too much...
after the whole day done cold turkey...
it's a beneficial ferris-wheel "dilema"
at the end of the day...
oh... esp. with the bouron...
yes... the matter is not going to be
approved for dialectical concerns...

i call for the advent of "sanctimony"...
         the "superiority" coming from the depths
of... not the cold-turkey lot...
nor the: 20 per day...
and zinc and copper licking tongue
numbing at the end of it...
this one a day...
                     and the bourbon...
ogh! mein gott! come to think of it...
the money?!
money comes last...
so much for "saving" the money from...
not smoking...
where to: a vinyl collection...
aaah... a weekend trip to Prague...
you really need a woman
to spend money...
           given that one can become
very... very... satisfied with
the basics...
esp. when one isn't a gambling man...
these days... gamble on what?
well... save up...
and have *** with a bulgarian *******
once a year...
or pretend to...
            that's probably best...
aim at... salvaging... the most...
wortheless maxim of a translation
of value... in the flesh:
the inanimate concept of money...
the guillotined head
of ol' lizzy the II charming
the heads / tails science debate...
          not getting richer...
not getting poorer...
                   playing a sleeper...
beside the essentials...
it's there... but... it's not there...
it's hardly spending...
it's hardly saving...
      it's a cushion... it's not avarice...
it's not...
beside of note:
the veil that's not in iron...
but is... like...
being paid in peanuts...
peanuts... pebbles... the common
denominator of: one-hundred copper-pence
coins in a brass pound!
i'll settle for... just that.
Lizzie Nelson Aug 2020
Fishing for my muse
but he eludes me.
A futile quest to catch
mere sprats.
Other times they gush in torrents.
He teases me, I’ll warrant;
lets them drop into my lap,
words, fast & fat.
He commands the waters
but I will catch him for my tea
& feed my famished poetry.
Another old Vss365 from Twitter. Prompt word was muse. Does anyone else feel this feast or famine, when some poems write themselves and others can't be grasped?
A sink bucket
Today I forgot to buy milk, black coffee in the morning it is so
easy to remember the past it shines like jewels lost.
It was the winter of 1964, it was dark my brother carried
a big sink bucket and I a smaller one, we were on our way to
the coal depot to- if we found a hole in the fence- to steal coal.
We were caught by a man who wore an armband of the new
people in command and they were taking no nonsense from
anyone least of all seven years old thieves.

I have often seen that you put a uniform on someone who
who never had power and they behave like little ****** sprats.
On the way home with two empty buckets we came across
a wooden fence that had partially fallen down we took as many
planks as we could carry and had a warm Christmas Eve
Only now
will they complain
when Russia is doing
Ukraine,
not that they shouldn't,
but they kept pretty quiet
about the other
little spats,

yeah, I know that the
mackerel eat sprats,
but that's because
they're greedy *******.
Mateuš Conrad Apr 2018
love in the form of writing is exhausting,
the sort of love chained
to a grave and epitaph,
a man might utter a million
maxims, truths without proofs,
as many observations as the are
scales on a skin of a serpent,
           in that hue of green hidden
subtle variations:
    windowpane arts of a gothic
church...
                because a woman suddenly thinks
herself the Madonna, the vehicle
for what remains in the most common
thread of thought: a deity of ouroborus.
yet i still managed to steal kisses
from prostitutes, i still don't understand
what the problem is, given the legality
of the practice...
but the older prostitutes know
that a kiss is the first, and last taboo
in their "work"...
         why are the most beautiful women
prostitutes? i mean beauty in
the immediate sense, prone to
the cyclone of change, here one minute,
gone the next...
           and if this is all i can boast about,
stealing kisses from giddy almost
        teenage in reaction prostitutes...
   that smile and shy laughter haunts me,
it follows me whenever the light is
not too bright, hazy dim auburn...
    tickling a lucidity of the act in amber...
forever resting resting in winter green
leviction above decay...
   brown and pumpkin orange without
citrus sharp neon zest,
juice like poisonous phlegm
    shooting from a viper's gob...
i managed to transcend the taboo
of prostitutes...
steal kisses and kiss eyes oozing tears,
as she sat on me and said she was tired
i'd say to her:
      plenty more other things
can take up the hour spread like Persian
before us...
       and always with these women
i could allow myself the sort of heart
that was bearable to be carried...
     asymmetry of the four horsemen
and the one behind,
    a fool riding a donkey...
        too many people come across
iconoclasm of a life most perfect,
lasting for a mere 3 years of a congregation...
apparently the ancient Romans
used to jump ****-naked into nettles
to improve their circulation...
because a nettle itch is not the sort of
itch from, god knows what...
smoked European sprats...
        or skippers (schprotkí) -
pull the head off, and eat the whole fish,
spine included...
          you don't want to know
what russians eat while drinking...
certainly not crisps or peanuts...
            as far as I'm concerned,
the world came to Königsberg,
                       not the other way round...
but still the joy of body touching
body, talk, psychiatric talk in condoms...
false memory implants, regression,
keep em to the mind-****
   i need to talk with a body
  at 37°C, feverish...
                        someone without a need
to posture, and out on la rochefoucauld
airs...
         and if all i ever did was steal
a kiss from a *******, then i can be
most joyous whenever else humbled...
                  giddy like a first kiss schoolgirl,
face contorting with giggles
    and squint devilish eyes...
almost like a ****** maiden from the XIV
or XV century historical novel about
chivalry...
               comparisons to ripe fruit
aplenty: apples, pears, berries...
                  and no, women will not know
the sentiments a man might have toward
prostitutes...
        her tongue a chisel striking for
crumbs of stone from my heart,
elsewhere the mind rather than a heart
of man as the labyrinth...
         elsewhere a fickle circumstance
of non-reciprocal loyalty of merely one
word... stay...
             hardly asking for a woman on
a leash...
   such perfect loves,
so much writing about love...
     a love a must a loyalty a trust...
   odes and ideals of this fickle cupid
muse, a chance of poison arrow landing
not where it ought...
           but at least with a stolen
kiss, an hour can give sustenance
for a year... a year filled by a conversation
of two bodies, and four eyes,
    and heist of Jezebel's *****...
flirting butterflies and that bourbon
perfumery of the dim lit rooms
of amber...
                 a stolen kiss,
         the unmatched stone heart...
caging, rather than being caged...
           a canary on the tip of a rhino's
ivory pride...
               that's all because i simply
think that I'd be unable to sit with a woman
watching television...
perhaps if she's my grandmother i might,
and I do... but she's my grandmother...
  sharing a siamese moment with
a woman is to then reduce it to
conversations over a television?
      that's one part of life I don't have
a heart to indulgence myself in.
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2020
well... to counter the leftists' dietary requirements...
bugs and all... simba: timone & pumba:
slimey... yet satisfying...
wouldn't it be necessary...
to first teach the "high i.q." conservatives...
the necessity of celebrating the entire hooved animal?
or the chicken - frankly it's not enough
to only eat chicken protein...
one also needs to have a taste for the hearts
and the stomachs...
mein gott: pork livers!
liver with well curated onions...
you really need to experience the tenderness
of the meat of a poached chicken's neck...
what about how the baltic countries prepare
herrings? raw? in a cream and dill sauce...
add some gherkins and some...
the baltic sushi / tartar...
feed the ******* a tartar steak...
the same disgust will arrive: if not less...
should they eat... deep-friend cockroaches...
a steak tartar... what left vs/ right paradigm "shift"?
what about eating haggis?
or blood sausage?
what about eating cow intestines?
what about... the pride of new york:
deep fried pig's ears in breadcrumbs?
only when the entire pig is eaten...
will there be a counter argument...
a spiked resurgence of... sales in broccoli...
pâté... raw herrings...
marrow... until the pig is glorified
and nothing can be left to eat apart from the oink...
because my my: who delights in eating...
***** - the scavengers: the necrophyliacs?
insects contra... oysters...
i had a hard time convincing myself that
island dwelling people weren't disgusting...
eating ****** ***** metaphors of: fruits
of the sea - as the inland folk call them...
what's the difference between a deed-fried grasshopper...
and an oyster eaten alive via the guillotine slurp?

you really don't want to over-cook the internal organs...
and what's so wrong with rare steaks -
what's wrong with a steak tartar?
the i.q. of the vesterners says:
no black no irish: dogs allowed...
dogs mao chin sheen most allowed...
fwy cookie blood and butter cowcow cook-e!

all in all: a fetish for fungus...
we have a fetish for fungus...
and we eat blue cheese...
a microcosm of... prior to insects...
the bacteria...
and prior to that? apparently frying
a placenta is: good news!
next thing you know... tapeworms on the menu!

oh but i'm hardly worried about people
eating insects...
i'm more worried about the people in my vicinity
that need to be fed solid protein... chunks...
because they find eating the tender bits...
the pork livers, the chicken hearts...
the chicken stomachs...
to be... something akin to "below them"...
i wouldn't start by shaming the insect barons
of said menus...
i'd begin with shaming the people
in the vicinity...

oysters: slurping out a choiced **** out
of poseidon's harem...
fruit of the seas... yeah...
up in scotland they deep fry a slice of pizza
and a mars chocolate bar if you're
knowledged in that sort of a culinary cult...
tier: three tiers below the actually lovely:
haggis neeps 'n' tatties...
and the rainbow trouts...

even the pigs would snort out:
man-food... not pig-food...
man-food...
as in that famous scene in hannibal
or: ****** - when bricktop...
the pigs will eat...
by high western i.q. standards...
i'm starting to "think" that eating insects is
a tier below... cannibalism...
i still don't know why i succumbed
to the traditions of island dwelling folk
of eating... mollusks of the sea...
insects and: all the added crunch of
the ribs being intact... sardines...
or... smoked sprats...
heads eyes and bones and tails and all...
i'm dying for that culinary fetish
of... and they called the last barbarian affair
of europe - the faroe islands' grindadráp:
the shame - the: look east... toward
beijing...
"bat soup galore" - funny little ****-****
bomb - lucky us... no knives!

not prior to a season when the entire
pig is appreciated...
or the entire chicken...
not just the bland cheap *** kosher proteins...
as in: in no defence...
but... what delights are people missing...
no amount of scampi will save them...
perhaps just about enough:
steak and kidney pies...
but even then... not enough!

a critique of the insect eaters is...
my critique of the non-liver eaters of the west...
simple...
oysters are and always will remain:
Midway - along with the rest of Poseidon's Eden...
so i wonder... which was the forbidden fruit
of the oceans? what weren't we allowed
to eat from the ocean?

clearly apples and pork - since the two compliment
each other, oh so ******* well...
tell me: imam... rabbi...
what's the fruit of the sea - the forbidden fruit?
is it the oyster?
ha ha... the idiotic death of a monotheism
upon a canvas of the beijing omnivores...
camel jockeys galore!

— The End —