We are here today to join together
To join you in love
To join you in heart
To join you in mind
And to never tear apart
In sickeness and health
We'll stay together
Whether rich or poor
We'll stay together
No law tells us we can't be **one

As if the sun had rose for the first time
I witnessed the beauty of a day beckoning and bursting with light
Awakening and coaxing my feet
Urging me on
Dismissing the darkeness that once consumed and committed me
With open eyes the questions are endless and I realised how much of a child's mind
posesses my growing wit
I try to expell the corruption and injustice to breath freely if only for a moment
Craving the euphoria nature aptly offers free and full of grace
I ponder her deep waters and ceaseless wind
Trees like towers wave off and hypnotizes
Simplicity is now becoming a great friend
Taming my wild mind
I am clawing at temptation and I must force my will to break this
Who am I without this twisted warping sickeness
I try so hard to decipher this
but only time can reveal the true stasis

The pause while passionate kissing is a painful one
Millimetres away from your tongue
Feeling your exhale on my lower lip
Our tongues meet again
Relief

I'm all empty smoke packs while he's chain smoking without offering me a drag

Nothing more than coffins
French kiss
Ignorance
Bliss

I told him I wanted to feel whole again
I asked him to set me free
Nothing louder than a whisper while he's fast asleep

All I feel is pain
No
All I feel is nothing

I'm left sitting in my room wondering who discovered attraction
Who first felt the need to touch their lips against another's
Who fumbled in the dark and discovered the power of naturally produced dopamine

Will I ever escape his grasp?
Will I ever feel whole without his lips no more than a millimetre away?
I sit and I wonder

This is a sickeness
This is an obsession

I've experimented with drugs but I've yet to find a rock that gets me this high nor has such confusingly addictive qualities

Like the day after Molly depression I feel the weight of your absence
Although I inhale it often
Both your skin and these pills
I will never be okay with the loneliness that I feel while away from both drugs and him

I often picture myself at your front door
Crying
Screaming
Begging for more

My last relationship was no more than use and abuse
And all I've ever wanted was calm and gentle touch
He understands
He understands so well
Accepts my tears, indecisiveness,  loud words and fear of physical contact while sober

I can't do this alone
I'm waiting in a line and I'm scared and I'm quiet
I'm waiting for the next time you'll decide you're lonely and breath me in
I'm waiting to hold your hand in public without fear of past lovers noticing

Six months without talking or eye contact only proves that I'll always ******* wait for you
I can't describe my love
I want to write it all down
But there is not any amount of words in Collins dictionary that could spell out my attraction to you

I know I'm not what you want
I know I'm what you need
I know you are tired
I feel the lack of love when you speak

Hold me
Set me free

I’m not the pills I put in my stomach
I’m not the sickeness spilled out on the bathroom floor.
It’s so hard to admit this
But you’ll always deserve more.

I made peace with my deep rooted misery.
Without a leg to stand on
I’m a double amputee.

You look immaculate.
Without blemish on your cheeks.
So immaculate.
A perfect poem, never ending, I could never read.

I’ve been wondering
“What if the wind took me?”
Lost in a “what if a wave swept in and pulled me underneath?
Would it bring relief as it smothered me?
Would I finally be so happy I forget to breath?”

My truest dream,
Who knew you’d give me life
After I waited so long
So long for the death of me?

I’m so happy, to have ever heard you speak my name.
Let’s get lost together.
Our life a perfect picture
Dressed in a silver frame.

You look immaculate.
So immaculate.
If the world split
I’d jump the gaps
Just so I could get to you.

My heads in the clouds
I hope I never come back down.