Because you love me, you hold those a’dear far,
Since those a’far, you hold dearly without mar.

Because you love me, you wield a grand mighty fist,
Which across my face does it seemingly, passionately kiss.

Because you love me, you speak not a single word,
As through the door have I rushingly stirred.

Because you love me, do you not chase me out the door,
For I have chase thou, only a single week before.

Because you love me, do you give not a single look,
For through an hour of the winter’s warmth have I shook.

Because you love me, you surround yourself with hungry crows,
That feeds your life unknowingly and reaps what you sow.

Because you love me, do you give the mind to those pesky crows,
And to me do you instantaneously produce your quickly no’s.

Because you love me, you cherish your crows greater than I,
For am I nothing but a tool, a naming figure, a passive shadow to thy?

Because you love me, my gifts sleep near a flame,
Whose warmth reaps the ashes of the heart, it claimed.
Because you love me, a pendant bestowed to you, split a’two,
For means nothing have you month not yielded the two a’glue.

Because you love me, thee crow’s charms sleep upon your bed,
For a tool-like shape do you and it gracefully wed.
Because you love me, upon my head do my heart you toss,
Whereas the pear-like plush upon your bedding does it doss.

Because you love me, you are unaware of those around,
Until they have advantageously brought you to your mound.

Because you love me, you say you love me with wholesome lies.
But it is only me that your mind wants, but subconscious denies.

Because you love me, you are grateful with the loss of I,
For at a deathly grave, a flower blooms ever so greatly high.
For what differences hold between either the crow and I?
I know not, for upon the earth I stand, whereas crows fly.

And that a heart holds only a finite volume of heavenly light.
Until it inevitably bursts by the wrath of the greater hellish might.
And with your grand fist may you then grandly smite,
My wholesomeness into shattering pieces, both left and right.
Until then will you finally arise to your greater heights,
For may you and crow make the happily greetings tonight.

I’m going to each of my suitemates' rooms. One at a time, methodically. I pause, for dramatic purpose, until I have their full attention. Once I have it, I rushingly, excitedly, breathlessly say, “I’M getting pizza later, for the GAME!” Like a seven year old child.

Now, my roommates KNOW we're ordering pizzas later. They’re all “on board,” everyone’s submitted their order and venmo’d their money to Sunny who will actually place the order for delivery at 5:30 pm. But I’m excited. I LOVE pizza (and American, NFL football) and I love being childish.

My roommates, like my brother, sister and parents before them, know this and love my manic, overactive way of excising tedium. Besides, I won’t do this more than once or twice - ok, maybe three times today before the pizza comes.

Since you’ve read this far - allow me to opine, for a moment, about “self restraint.”

Have you read about how they’re using familial DNA to solve old cold-case murders? I think they should use familial DNA to track down whomever it was that invented self restraint.

It was probably some old Protestant. I mean, Catholics only have sin - it’s yes or no - binary. So without researching it (at all), I think we’re dealing with someone born after the protestant reformation of 1555 - but I’m flexible.

Anyway, they should track that person down, dig them up, beat them with a stick, and then rebury them, in unhallowed ground.

I hate self restraint. It’s so.. restraining.

#restraintsux

Like a soft and cool breeze
Brushing my hair gently
Whispering in my ear softly
Holding  my hands lovingly
Echoing  your voice thrillingly
Reaching my core throbbingly
Leaving my ***** sore badly
Frozen heart aches more and more sadly
Each moment So much tears pour rushingly
Was your presence Real or dream  
Here I am Unsure
Were you really here?
Was I dreaming ?
After all life  is a dream
Realize it Right ?
Yes now I am sure
Life is nothing but
A momentarily dreaming


©️Sobbingsoul

I was only fourteen
Alone,
Delightfully solacing on
My plushy coraled bed Inside
My goldish bedecked room
The muteness inside the house
Relaxed my grip
And the comfort of the muse
Lulled me into the abyss of futurity

An unanticipated door creak snapped me out
I turn drowsed
Reluctant, unmoved
Declining from consciousness again
And halfway I felt a sudden
Transfixed cloud of shadow
Overwhelmed over my enfeebled frame
With instant release of warmed brandy breathe
Floating like a butterfly on my fuzzy face
I rushingly opened my eyes
Behold, his dark eyes, lustfully gazing at mine
I attempt to resist his forceful loof
Shoving on top of the
flesh of my screaming mouth

His eyes of uncle
So strong a father
Zealous like brother
And the fig of his skin, of a stranger
Resistively,
I pleaded as a daughter
I cried like a sister
And wept, with pity, like a stranger

Finally he broke through,
Took away my pride, one that I can never get it back
I was sobbing, in sever pain, bleeding, helpless
He doesn't care anyway
Fastening back his trousers, spermed
I asked him why
Why me
But, "It's all right" he whispered; slamming the door behind

Should I tell Mom about it?, ' There is no need to wreak  havoc in a family' (I thought)
Maybe I was too scared to
Face my perpetrator again
How can I
Confess that I was *****,
Robbed of a treasure, by a familiar stranger

It's hard to believe that
God's existing
If he is, he despised me
Mama used to tell me that he
Loves me unconditional
She said that he cares about me daily
That he knows and watches everything from above
But If that is so, why didn't he stopped it
From happening to me
Why did he not stop it
I was only fourteen when
My innocence is taken
My pride is stolen
Abused by the people I trust
To protect me
To save me from the rampage  
Of wild uncontrolled monsters
Ten years agone like ten seconds ago
The wound still feels afresh
This memory haunts my consciousness
In every portion of my ingression
Everyday is a struggle to live
To live with the irresistible lifetime scar
I'm trying so hard to let it go