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Ameliorate May 2021
First kiss at the psych ward, strap me to the gurney
Deliver me from evil, tempt me eternally
Lucifer’s hellhound is space bound like my mentality- Venus.
To be great like em-inem I bet he has a big (rocket ship)

Alliteration, pronunciation like Smash Pan-
Alley where we used to fight about it.
Drinking king cans by the river
A blimp of a memory drifting endlessly

Listen to your voice emanate synchronicities
Haunting me vocally as I condemn myself to his servitude, I’m holy
Saint of the church like Mother Theresa, pray with my rosary
For forgiveness.

Undress me slowly, ripe for the picking
A flower blooming seductively under duress of the past atrocities committed upon me
by trauma
I own that ****, I’m a sinner.

Repentance for misdirected animosity
Be who you are
And love endlessly.  

©rhetoricalcuriosity
Ameliorate May 2021
Haunted by the memory of your touch on my flesh
Trickling water over your shoulder blades running over the place by your hips I like to kiss.
Midnights are for lovers but so is five and six am as day breaks and I’m still enamoured within the area code where sound escapes your lips one last time before I gather my things and go.
Bidding Adieu.  
©rhetoricalcuriosity
Ameliorate May 2021
You
The delicate curvature of your lips
Swirling arousal around my hips
Trailing deliciously intimate kisses

Until you’re enjoying yourself amongst my soft inner thighs;

Warmth trailing by moonlight
We kiss and the night is lost within your deep blue eyes.

@RhetoricalCuriosity
Ameliorate May 2021
Opposite side
of the street
From where I sat
Yesterday
Pubescent victory
Two days
in a row
It’s different
here
since
you left me
Though
your talent
unprecedented
Marked
egotistical
a youth of misunderstandings
Caregivers absent
Childhood demanded
Look at you now
In your glass house
Surrounding yourself
With self doubt
Layered toxic masculinity
Existing to fornicate
Tempt fate
A love story just beginning
Meet me where you first told me
About your mother
And your brother
Star crossed
lovers
May will always
Haunt you

@RhetoricalCuriosity
Ameliorate May 2021
I glance around the room eyes coming to rest blankly on the surfaces in which your essence hasn’t touched.
You’re everywhere, swirling around like a misting of mystery.
Mildew takes to the cracks of my foundation pressed for waterfalls adorned with your love - a fragment of Jupiter sprouting from antique headdress and residing softly amongst shelter of my lungs.
Mourning you is never pleasantly accepted
Forever yours, never again.
Repeating melodies crawling with June bugs and riot gear.

The war is inside us, suffer mentally into delusions.
Become the thighs of retributive policies.
Daybreak from heavens the angels are calling.
Fornicate brethren church on heathen property.
Exchange admiration for apology
Such simplistic words escape your mouth
While you critique the work I produced as heavens lost property.

Fallen archangel.
I am God’s *****.

©rhetoricalcuriosity
Ameliorate May 2021
“I wanted to be happy,”
The words crept from my lips like scurrying little spiders when their home.
Disturbed amongst darkened cobwebs in an untouched dingy room.
Intrusive thoughts-
Dismaying salvation of apathologized compliance.

Masking behaviour for acceptance.
“Stop spinning in that chair- it’s annoying”
Self expression became punishable,
dismaying youth- retribution beyond reasonable understanding.
Belted and crying,
“Please stop, it hurts.”
Fearful avoidance-
Nothing feels safe.

Transmitting adulthood with repressed memories though awakened by medical emergency of your cat.
Navigating uncertainty since July; desperately attempting to understand inner workings of trauma brain.
Complex post traumatic stress disorder.

Medical diagnosis though intrusive thoughts still catastrophic.
Chronic pain with desolation-
Desperately craving the touch of another human.

Covid times; worsening depression, combatting betraying myself with fathers abusive words while unproductively masquerading oversleeping.
Powerlifting self regulation,
though collapsing under the bar.
If they wanted to talk to you,
they would make effort.

Though I still fawn my way to self acceptance.
After all;
That’s what my parents taught me to do.
©rhetoricalcuriosity
Ameliorate May 2021
I’ll tongue circles around
the determination
to experience    
intimate attraction.

My poison apple,

addicted.
With just one kiss,
on those
******* perfect
lips.  
X



©rhetoricalcuriosity
Ameliorate May 2021
Communication

My renunciation
Susceptibility, damage
Feedback induced through operation,
Controlling
Is that how you present gratitude?
I exemplify what’s been demonstrated to me.
Reverence hands over convictions,
Trust.
Reciprocating through leaving.
I propel,
Direct forward,
Jurisdiction.
The flight into atmospheric impression,
Infatuation.
Provoking anxious attachment styles,
Complex childhood trauma.
Lack of interaction.
I purge my wrongdoings,
Request resolve.
I reprise intention for consistent trust,
Enchantment.
You aren’t alone anymore.
Genuine appreciation requires discipline.
Truthful emotion holds no possession.
Flicker of what authentic sentiment,
Entailing.
Including a merge
Unaccounted for in detachment.
©rhetoricalcuriosity
Ameliorate May 2021
I live secret from the divine

I live like some feel in dream when time is forever gentle

Gentle forever is time when I can dream
©rhetoricalcuriosity
Ameliorate May 2021
Warm evening air tickles my exposed flesh
A person walks by asking me how I am, I respond bleakly- though not reverberating with malice
Dependant is what I would call myself,  though depending on who asks I might be a queen of darkness
Swimming the cesspool captivating minds eye.

Children holding skateboards untouched by nihilistic melodies
Carpe Diem nevertheless since noctem brings the only memories scabbed away midsummer picking the heartbreak off your chest.
Hymns of breath lost kissing a battle with time and isolation.

Familiarity shadowed illusionist mortality
Cradling death of fragility.  
A lone hare hops along the sidewalk and I tell it to stay off the roadway.
The dogs are watching as dusk falls apart once again.
I am but a peddler for your touch.
©rhetoricalcuriosity

— The End —