i have to catch up on all you sent. but yes very intense, and been my life for years now. to tell the truth, longer. but good news we saved the world , we all did, turns out there is this guy in the boonies of the ozarks who they say seems to be tied to all existance or at least powerful people with pwerful toys tie events to his moods , and he like suddenly fixed it all in the blink of an eye, with the help of everyone and of course our good Lord, and Grace and Love. wow, who would have thought , some hillbilly with flaws and a tourtured life , intensified in the last ten or so years, turns out to be that guy, yep that guy with the job no man would ever wish to have, the job of intitiating the saving of all existence by making it so, simple as that. jack. here check it out and be sure to read all the other peoples posts in the maion area thatr are rather interesting in the effects the world has when a man feels it as much as he sure does. wow the guy feels a lot and i mean wow, so much so the world reflects what ever people do to him, glad all the world love and not hate, and are caring to ensure he is hapopy as he ensures he is happy, cause arent we all tied to the existance just the same, . well most i would suspect, but if it is  hypothetically just him that is, then i cant think of a better guy to have turned down the parts that were offered, and just did the job that was needed for all to benifit and not just be greedy like so many have been to him, he really did us all a service by just being that rather wonderful and kind man he realy is. i thank the guy. truly. here is a link.
http://hellopoetry.com/ricci-moon-scott-crow-moon/
hellopoetry.com
hellopoetry.com
Oh p.s., amazing how well balanced the guy is, no massive ego, no power tripping, just forgivness and kindness with a tantrum here and there as well, a real person should have. but, yeah, amazing and he is not too bad looking , well, if you are into that  sort of look, but i can forgive the odd things he does, i mean, could you imagine the stress a guy must have doing that job and never asking for it, in fact refused it time and time again so people would not worship or mistake him for some other guy. i mean wow, freaking thoughtful and careing guy, he even humiliated himself several times just to cause the argument to be realevent that he could in no way be the main power guy, cause chossen one or not, he sure a heck held the good things in the right and justly chose to give and also recieve the possitive and teach all that pain is real, and emotions are more, and well a bunch of stuff that said, hey open your mind and consider the odd things, whether true or not, cause we can not have a future of amazing and joyous if we limit our thinking and feeling, and he did it all under the eyes of the world, even editted to look like a bad guy, not unlike bane joker or some weird o who uses crayons to paint the scenes, yeah, some folks thought that would be fun, glad the world saw through the lie of those trying to harm him, his family and the world, cause he really withstood and seems many great people really sacrificed a lot to keep them safe, and i am grateful, turns out hes not a bad guy. even if he endulges in things we all turn a blind eye to it, i mean, come on, you seen that level of preassure in a job with no time off ever? 24/7 365  all day everyday. wow the guy is , okay. i guess. just hope i can do half what he tried to do, cause i am sure it took one heck of a toll and he is just ready to heal and enjoy saving it all, with the help of everyone and well all only by the grace of God, God's will not his nor anyone elses, God sure did save the day when this guy decided to say, hey, enough. and asked the lord for help. smile. you saved the world matthew. thank you. really, i mean it.

Letter to the devil, and the pains of this world.

Dear devil,

How you doin with the fact you have already lost?
How you doin with the urgency of Jesus' second coming soon?

Just to remind you, you already lost, and, do I have to remind your suffering in the fiery lake of fire and sulphur...forever? Ye...I don't think so.

Depression, stop hanging on to them, stop hanging on to me! Stop pestering the children of God, and just stop blinding them of the light of the Joy of Christ. Stop it! You somewhat comforting and soothing feeling, yet is the sharp sword that really kills...

Anxiety, stop making me stop in my tracks and feel like a failure, stop making me stop in my tracks on doing God's will and plan for my life. Stop dragging me down.

For the pains and diseases in the world, you would never stop them from being loved by God. Never ever.

Final note: God rules, God wins, God is in control, God is the Most high, Most pwerful, All mighty, Holy Holy Holy, the Holy one, worthy of all praise and glory and whole-hearted sincere love and trust and obedience. You are not, devil.

Sincerely and truthfully,
The one you tried to hurt and pull down.

MY INNER GODDESS ALWAYS WARNS ME ABOUT THE COLOR GREY. NOT OUT OF
FRIGHT TO ROCK BUT HE AURA IT HOLDS WITHIN. PWERFUL, INTOXICATING IN
EVERY SHADE. IT COULD MEAN THE SWEETEST OF THINGS OR MEANEST OR STILL
LIE BETWEEN.
   GREY IS A KICK-*** COLOR. 100% PERCENT AUTHORITY IN EACH HUE. IT IS
A "DARE-TO-WEAR" KIND OF COLOR. LITTLE WONDER VERY FEW ARE BOLD ENOUGH
TO TRY ON THE RAGE OF BEAUTY; DIVERSE.
MANY ARE LOCKED UP IN THE EVERYDAY HAZE OF COLORS BUT ONLY THE
COURAGEOUS DO THE GREY. GREY IS A DARKER SHADE AWAY FROM ASH, A
THOUSAND SHADES AWAY FROM BEING JUST NORMAL.
   GREY COULD JUST MEAN ANYTHING APART FROM THE USUAL; IT COULD MEAN
POWERFUL, CONFIDENT, BOSS-LIKE, DARK; A WHOLE WORLD AWAY FROM HADES,
BEAUTIFUL, RESPECT, AND THE LIST IS ENDLESS.
  GREY LETS YOU BE WHO YOU ARE,BUT WITH A TOUCH OF SUPERIORITY. IT
CONTAINS A DEPTH LIKE NO OTHER COOR AND RARE.
    ONLY THE BRAVE DARE TO DO THE GREY.