Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
LJ Jun 2016
WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF CASUAL *****
True romance is dead
it is buried in the dense rocks
eroded from the cliffs to the valleys
it's silenced in the pitch of a symphony

It's a poet dream
to write sweet sentiments
kiss in the nothingness
sketch love as if a masterpiece

Now a Tinder
where you can plunder
curves and bossoms
with no responsibility

Then Ok Cupid
where conversations
tender and ponder
before unleashing the game

There is always POF
where fishes dare in a swim
kissing and pinching
punching and finishing

True love is an illusionary debt
a cheque in deficit
An emotional injustice
the unrighteous pursuit

It's a poet's dreams to love
count the stars and watch the moon
nurture emotions and connections
The probability is the world won't let us

It won't let us be
Ladies just undress and expose the jubblies
Men just undress and measure your *****
the world won't let us be
A poets dating site can just be phenomenal. A recipe of soul to soul transcendence!
Micheal Wolf Aug 2019
pof
A Poem by Me  POF

I read "No photo of me, so no reply!" Like starting a fight with her opening line.
So I removed mine! I'm rebel at heart, but I do have them if you choose to enquire.
But are photos all that define us now?
I am willing to take a chance they are not.
But I do have photos and you're welcome to see, when your ready, if you're chatting to me.
But the photos are not of me holding a dog or my two daughters to bolster my cause. To show you I am a wonderful dad or that the gym is clearly my second home.
There are no photos of me a decade ago in Summer shorts that my ex chose!
If you understand what I am trying to say, it's because all profiles seem to read the same.
The five in a photo and the blond is me!
Do the other four even know they're on here?
You like to stay in and you like to go out. Do you need a photo to prove that?
You like food, and love to cook and dine out here's my dinner just look at that!
Then there's the best and one I like most
"No players please" I have had enough.
Oh ladies please!! Men are like shoes, have you ever bought the first pair you chose?
And the runner up tickles me so, own teeth and hair, and must be tall. A taller woman in heels is great. It's not my ego thats in the way.
So am I cynical or speaking the truth? Have you seen yourself in the words above?
I didn't write to offend at all, but maybe one of you gets the point.
Should men give a list of do's and don'ts?
As women do, like designing a doll.
Should we list make up and spandex as miss selling and cheat, and list only women above 5ft 3.  I hope my words made you laugh. If not cheery bye and good look on POF.
Written long ago in jest
gee i like to think of dead it means nearer because deeper firmer
since darker than little round water at one end of the well   it’s
too cool to be crooked and it’s too firm to be hard but it’s sharp
and thick and it loves,   every old thing falls in rosebugs and
jackknives and kittens and pennies they all sit there looking at
each other having the fastest time because they’ve never met before

dead’s more even than how many ways of sitting on your head your
unnatural hair has in the morning

dead’s clever too like POF goes the alarm off and the little striker
having the best time tickling away everybody’s brain so everybody
just puts out their finger and they stuff the poor thing all full
of fingers

dead has a smile like the nicest man you’ve never met who maybe winks
at you in a streetcar and you pretend you don’t but really you do
see and you are My how glad he winked and hope he’ll do it again

or if it talks about you somewhere behind your back it makes your neck
feel pleasant and stoopid    and if dead says may i have this one and
was never introduced you say Yes because you know you want it to dance
with you and it wants to and it can dance and Whocares

dead’s fine like hands do you see that water flowerpots in windows but
they live higher in their house than you so that’s all you see but you
don’t want to

dead’s happy like the way underclothes All so differently solemn and
inti and sitting on one string

dead never says my dear,Time for your musiclesson and you like music and
to have somebody play who can but you know you never can and why have to?

dead’s nice like a dance where you danced simple hours and you take all
your prickly-clothes off and squeeze-into-largeness without one word  and
you lie still as anything    in largeness and this largeness begins to give
you,the dance all over again and you,feel all again all over the way men
you liked made you feel when they touched you(but that’s not all)because
largeness tells you so you can feel what you made,men feel when,you touched,
them

dead’s sorry like a thistlefluff-thing which goes landing away all by
himself on somebody’s roof or something where who-ever-heard-of-growing
and nobody expects you to anyway

dead says come with me he says(andwhyevernot)into the round well and
see the kitten and the penny and the jackknife and the rosebug
                                                                      and you
say Sure you say    (like that)    sure i’ll come with you you say for i
like kittens i do and jackknives i do and pennies i do and rosebugs i do
Matthew James Apr 2016
Poem 4
I'm going to give this context by starting off reading my old match and pof profile. This is genuinely real.

It's always hard to know what to say on these things so I'm just going to fill my profile with exaggeration and nonsense.
I would describe myself as a cross between Brad Pitts character in fight club and a sensitive fireman who likes kittens. Overall I'm pretty awesome. Kind, intelligent, hilariously funny, better in bed than a mug of cocoa. I'm a bit of a geek really. As a kid I just used to love drawing and watching cartoons. I have a ten year old golem figure which is still in its box. It's ok though. It's multiposable. I grew up on a farm. If you go back far enough there are signs of inbreeding. Which is cool because I've got extra fingers to tease you with.
I had two lizards when I was little. Their names were e's and whizz after the pulp song e's and whizz which was apparently about drugs. Lizards aren't like drugs. They're just different. You can't take a lizard to get high. You could possibly try it with the right kind of frog but licking a lizard just makes you look weird. Plus if you tried to swallow one I suspect it would get stuck in your throat. The lizard wouldn't like that. Plus you'd probably get done for animal cruelty but it's ok because you'd have the excuse that you were just smacked off your t**s on Lizard. Anyway, these lizards kind of melted. This was real, not because I was on drugs. I didn't really know about drugs back then. I hadn't licked a lizard. Lizards aren't like drugs anyway, but we've already covered that, it's a bad analogy. Anyway, it was kind of sad watching them, I think I over heated the tank or something. But they had a happy life before that, I looked after them.
I think it's kind of an analogy for life though. You can spend your life worrying about your lizard. Buying it all the right food and keeping the temperature just right. But then you never really enjoy your lizard because you're too busy thinking about its food and it's heat. So, the alternative is that you just get on with things. Enjoy your lizards, crank up the heat and see what happens. I think life is better like that. Not for lizards though. Mine melted. You've got to keep their temperature right. It was a bad analogy.  

Yes, I'm still single... But on to the poem

An ode to online dating - AKA online dating is a lizard in a tank

When you go online, you're  a lizard in a tank
On your own in empty online spaces
Your pea sized brain has drawn a blank
From all the empty, passing faces
As this one passes she gives a grin
She taps your buttons, turns up your heat
Your eyes rotate, step foot to foot
You hope that she'll dip her hand in
Frill your neck and show you want to meet
But she swipes to the rabbit coz he's got a cute ****.

Some "customers" just go to look
Some are scared that lizards bite
Some of them, their nerves are shook
By a previous lizard fight
Some wonder whether they should buy
But think they might get something better
Some buy, then put you on the shelf
Some people think you're worth a try
But switch for something to make them wetter
Makes me reflect upon myself

People are creatures led my habit
Distracted by your Lizard brain
Looking for someone to share your maggot
To change your colours, You try in vain

My frustration is 2 things
1. People expect everyone to be the same
2. You get dragged into meeting an expected role

Muscles, protection, hair, humour, genuine, confidence, normal, drive, good job, nice clothes, nice house, nice car, nice things

Beauty, slim, eyes, *******, legs, ****, no baggage, easy going, don't argue, work hard, play hard, independence, no shame

What if everyone doesn't have to be the same and going for what you always go for gets you what you always got? I've got no answers to it all.

I'm going to buy a lizard instead.
Joe Milton Dec 2012
This one is funny to me because I used it as my POF profile message at one point. It cracks me up...

----
Imagine a world beyond belief, everyone has beauty underneath, like that's some sort of relief. Ourselves, under all that skin. How few people we really let in? How few become dear to you? How many slip on through?

I think I think too much, about lovers, and dreamers and such. Ramble on, and on, and on...Until everything is gone. Like Monday making the events of Friday night over discussed. Parental double-standards when their child cussed.

Imagine a comrade, companion, just company. Some manner of moments, made by you and me.
Matthew James Apr 2016
A sort of ode to online dating

For a while I've been on and off on match and pof
A few weeks back I went on tinder
Not long after, I came back off
Because, my life, that thing did hinder
It wasn't the people who wanted ***
Because there weren't that many ... Sadly
It wasn't being harassed by strangers
It wasn't even sending endless texts
But because it often ended badly
Their defences are up, in fear of the dangers

Shallow, surface, empty, rude
Fickle attitudes take over
Behind the screen he hides, this dude
Spreading his toast with mouldy clover
He's thinking of things he could do to you
He's damaged by an old relationship
Angry at women and wants control
He has expectations that can't come true
An old fashioned romance that's almost worship
There are people watching him on patrol

Sat at home she reads the message
He sends it again 2 minutes later
It just says "hi" within this passage
He's not the kind of guy to date her
Shes beautiful, she's bright, she's kind
She's only single coz she wants to choose
But the guys seem aggressive, lonely and strange
She's scared of the people she might find
And all the things she's got to lose
If she meets the one who is deranged

Now this guy had a real bad past
Punished by a cruel mother
He always felt like he came last
Wife cheated on his honeymoon with his older brother
He went back out and met girls to ****
He used them, bruised them and abused them
Taking back the power he lost
There's this one guy who's wife he took
Just to show him you could lose them
And that being with women came with a cost

Back online, he's there again
Another message saying hi
He's got new pictures and he's changed his name
She sends him back a message "bye"
Shes had enough of online dating
If they were in the pub they wouldn't dare!
She needed someone who was gentle and  real
She doesn't want to end up man hating
She wants to find just one who'll care
So she goes with a friend to buy a meal

As she walks in she sees this guy
He's smartly dressed and wears a smile
At the end of the meal her friend has to fly
But she decides to stay a while
Her and this guy, they get chatting
They decide to go and have a dance
He's charming, funny, open mind
He works for himself and makes good pay
As they go to leave he takes his chance
Politely, in a way that's kind
He asks to meet another day

The second date, they go together
The theatre
Digital existence. While the living worlds

Diminished.

Just for basic daily fitness

Some need virtual assistance.

Gambling drugs and women

The sky no longer is the limit

It's the satellites with in it

And if you got it you can spend it

Weapons. Brides and ammunition





If your boy ain't acting right dont hesitate act now and end it.

Why fix problems when

Online Youll find 10 other men 

That want to enter into friendship



Love is free. But who wants freedom

We need physical connection

Pof is great. 11 bucks a month

And  **** is endless

Period. End of the sentence.


Moving onto next 

You can alter your body  and dimensions.

So it's impossible to tell

Where photoshopped begins

And where you ended...

People get bullied on social media

Some first fight *** there unfriended

***** been going on for centuries

But the internet made it demented

Some ignore the petty ****

And do what the internet intended

Go on grindr. Order fireworks

And search the laws of natural selection
Dope

— The End —