Love,
A fickle word for a fickle heart
Dark and light,
Red blood pumps through life
Affections and attractions
Loss and conquests
Beasts in the night prowling for a mate
Primal and unclean, natural and fated
But in this body of flesh and bone
Something beats in this heart different, pure and alone
A kind of love
Bottled up inside of the walls of my soul
Love years and years established,
Loyal, gold, unwavering and cold
That strengthens me and cripples to the bone
Unwitting and unwanting
But how can I not?
Your kindness, your pureness, your gold-
Inspires a love that cannot be told
Companionship that lost its platonicity  
A friendship too close to be friends
Or at least for me,
*****, muddy, loud and imperfect
Basking in the gold light of your smiles and laughter,
Freckles and love, kindness and friendship
Too sweet to taste
For what am I
Afraid alone and trembling
In front of a mirror of all of my worst dreams
I reach for you,
My finger tips almost touch
But slip away just like rest
And there he is, behind me,
Reaching for me in the way I reach for you
I could turn,
Take the easy road
But it’s hard when my heart is planted firmly beneath my feet
I wish you would turn to me,
But it would be out of pity,
Such as it would be if turned to him
He is not bad,
He is kind and honest
But my heart feels not fully for him
I cannot sing him a single sonnet
I cannot give him what isn’t his
For him,
I feel a darker love,
An unsure love
The flame that burns before my face
But you, your love burns,
Miles away,
Pure and bright
Starlight in the far of sky
That I could not reach if I tried
So I will smile,
And let you go,
For of my love
You must never know
But I do not want to lose you
And that is what I’m scared of most
To your other I’ve lost you
To your lover you turn
Have you forgotten me, your friend?
The one who held you, cried with you, encouraged you?
The one who loved you?
The one who loved you first?
The one who loved you so much she thought she was cursed?
Am I gone?
We have but a brief flash in night,
A lightning strike left resounding in sky,
Before we leave here for good,
And must say goodbye.
Please, don’t leave me here right before the finish line
Don’t forget my lonely heart,
Turn
Grab my hand,
Lead me on
And you will never hear this song.
Starlight in the sky,
You never need say goodbye,
But the sun is rising,
And I’m not ready to say goodnight
Hold my hand
I’m scared
I don’t want this to end
It must I know,
But still please promise to always call me friend
And so
I’ll take his hand
Try the dark fire
Let go of dry land
Surrender to the fight
It feels wrong
It isn’t right
But without your stars
I need something to guide me in the night
He says i love you
I think we have different definitions
He loves the idea of me,
My body, my face, my ambition
We push and pull
Like the tide of the water
Dominating and battling
Fighting and challenging our prides to the slaughter
It’s been great fun, but the fun begins to fade
For even the brightest fires
Eventually burn away
And your stars seem so distant
More impossible to reach by the second
Because your stars are already gone,
Burned away millions of years ago,
And now I just bask in the afterglow
Of what once was,
What could have been.
The truths, the lies, the sinless sins
I love you, that I know is true
But what kind of fool am I to fall in love with you.