The dark consumes me like the cold covers the night, the tears wash my blood as my blade only deepens the wound. The depression acts as a blanket when I need warmth. Suicide becomes a thought when I see no hope. My blade becomes a must to my problems. My belt becomes a nuce for my throat. My life becomes hell that I call home. Pain becomes the life I choose to live. The only thing keeping me alive is a friend. A very special friend that shows me pain identical to mine. So I choose to live in silence knowing others can feel my pain. I choose to live with her and one day we bwill show each others scars.... One day

There are so many things
Unsaid and untold as I write
I was fine with out you
Unchallenged and lasting
But some thing was wrong

Some thing was a miss
Like a dream it felt real but
Really wrong
I don't know how to discribe it
There was nothing I wanted
Nothing I needed at all

Then I saw your message
I did not believe it at first
There where so many times I sat here
Wanting to write you
Missing you
Thinking of you

And there you where
It feels like nothing changed
Like a room that had its lights off
Was now bright and warm again
But this is nerve wracking
And I'm frightened

I don't want to loose you again
And yet I want to run like hell
Making you feeling wanted
Trying to look brave
Nor trying to push to fast
My heart is hurting
I feel like I'm walking a tight rope
While wearing a nuce around my neck

I want to tell you
This is scary
You are not mine and
I need to remind my self
And I don't know what to do
We can talk about any thing
But I don't know how to tell you
............................................................
­I'm scared