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Mateuš Conrad Dec 2015
it was that metallica in moscow
prompt that got me started,
obviously the real relationship ended
and the writing began;
but what can you do?
as a child i wanted to become a veterinarian,
but god, why a poet?
it’s usually those who wished otherwise
who become mozarts in the unwanted category
of being themselves... just so there’s some sort
of anaesthetic expressed by ease and fluidity,
and apathy, and automation;
writing doesn't have to be of a lofty/ aloof
ontological orientation... it just has to be basic,
and true... it has to have a quality
where truth translates itself as fiction...
and you begin lying to yourself on paper.
Nigel Morgan Aug 2013
My name is Zhou Yuanten, but call me Eddie. I am a doctoral student at Xinjiang University –in the far, far west, but at Brunel to study this year. My English is good. I lived in Boston, Massachusetts for undergraduate years. I majored in piano at the New England C and then discovered I wanted to compose rather than play. So I go to MIT and soon I discover the English do it so differently, so I apply to Brunel. And at Brunel they then say of this place ‘you have to go.’ So here I am.

So surprising to be greeted in Chinese! And not just Nin Hao, we have a conversation! His accent is Northern Mandarin. He is writing a novel, he explains, about poets Zuo-Fen and Zuo-Si. We have 15 minutes conversation every day and I help him with his characters. Strange, to most of the class he is nobody, but to foreign students here we know him through his website and his software. I have even played his colours piece, The Goethe Triangle.

It is joy to be respected by a teacher and his sessions are like no other I’ve had here, and here I mean the UK. Oh, so laid-back, so lazy so many teachers. People lack energy here. They are dreamers and only think of themselves. He is full of energy and talks often about this Imogen of whom I never hear. Her father a great composer and she copied his music from when she was a girl – such beautiful calligraphy. Her father loved India and learned Sanskrit. He should have learned Mandarin; at least that is a living language. ‘Imo’, he says, ‘is my heroine, my mentor, the musician I most revere.’ He showed us her library and what was her studio in one of the old buildings here. He gives me this little book about her ten years in this place. A strange looking lady; there’s a photograph of her conducting Bach in the Great Hall. She looks like she is dancing.

This morning some are not here, but there are little notes on the desk with apologies perhaps. He leaves them untouched and we make chords again, and scales and arpeggios and Slonimsky’s famous melodic patterns. We write and write. He sings, we sing too. There is a horn and a cello with us today. They play and make jokes. They show us harmonics and tunings and bend our ears in new directions we do not expect. Those who complain about this course not being ‘advanced’ will eat their words; only I think some of those are not here.

As Chinese we hear sound in a different way I think. In our language tone is so important. To each word there are four tones that make meaning quite different. Chinese uses only about 400 syllables, compared to 4000 in English. So there are lots of syllables, like ****, that have multiple meanings. I tell him the story of the Lion-eating Poet, which he does not know!! I am writing this out for him, all 92 characters. Just one word **** but with four meanings – lion, ten, to make, to be. The Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den is the story of a poet (****) named **** who loves to eat lions (**** ****) goes to market (****) to buy ten (****) of them, takes them home to eat (****) and discovers they are made (****) of stone (****).

So I have no trouble hearing what others struggle to hear. We make pieces that are all about tone, and on a single note. Mark, the cellist, plays the opening of Lutoslawski’s Concerto – forty-two repetitions of a tenor ‘D’ a second apart. I had never heard this – a cadenza at the beginning of a concerto. Now we write a duo, on just one note. We write; they play. We are like many Mozarts trying to write only what we have already heard, making only one copy. I use the four tones and must teach the players the signs. I demonstrate and he says of the 1st tone – ‘Going to the Dentist, the 2nd – Climbing a ladder, the 3rd – ‘The Rollercoaster’, the 4th –‘Stepping on a pin’. We all do it!

And there are all these microtones. We listen to a moment of Ravel’s Bolero and pieces by Thomas Ades and Julian Anderson, then in detail (and with the score) to part of Duet for piano and orchestra by George Benjamin. This is spectral music. He is daring to introduce this – very difficult subject - this idea that a sound could be mimicked (? Is that the word – to impersonate?) by analysing it for the frequencies that make it up, and then getting instruments with similar acoustic properties to play the frequencies as pitches. So the need for microtones – goodbye equal temperament! Great in theory, difficult in practice.

This afternoon we are to study spectral composing using our computers. Until now we use our computers or smart phones to listen to extracts. He has this page of web links on his website for each session. Instead of listening through hi-fi we listen through our headphones. Better of course by far, no birds sounds or instruments playing next door. We can hear it again anytime. So there is software to download, Fourier analysis I suppose, he tries hard not to use any science or maths because there are some here who object, but they are fools. Even Bach knew of acoustics – designing the organs he played.

We finish this morning studying harmonic rhythm and this word tonality nobody seems quite able to describe. To him even the chromatic scale is tonality, and he shows in a duet for horn and cello how our ears take in tonality change. This is not about keys, but about groupings of pitches – anywhere – so a tonality can be spread across several octaves. So often, he says, composers are not aware of the tonalities they create, they don’t hear harmonic rhythm. They’re missing an opportunity! Sound can be coloured by awareness of what makes up a tonality. So understanding spectral music must help towards this. It is very liberating all this. If we take sound as a starting point rather than a system we can go anywhere.

Yesterday he asked me about a book he is reading. Did I know it? A Concise Chinese-English Dictionary for Lovers by Xiaolu Guo. Of course I know this very funny book. He said he liked to think of music in the same way the character of the Chinese girl Z thinks about love.

“Love,” this English word: like other English words it has a tense. “Loved”, or “will love”, or “have loved.” All these specific tenses mean Love is time-limited thing. Not infinite. It only exists in particular period of time. In Chinese, Love is ài in pinyin. It has no tense. No past and future. Love in Chinese means a being, a situation, a circumstance. Love is existence, holding past and future.

And so it is with music. Music is a being, a situation, a circumstance. It holds past and future. It is wondrous, just like love.
Janette Sep 2012
Mozart fades into Monet,
you are the ivory keys,
piercing the silence,
tangled in echoes of an angel's voice,
awaiting to explode into the
mystery of my colours...


Hushed within a silence,
fading beyond something grey,
always meant to shimmer in sapphire.
Love is never bound to soft silhouette's,
though the fault line is so fragile,
the hush can rupture the ballast,
deteriorate the fingerprints
left, moistened, in an exploration of hands
christened in worship of the journey,
sliding between the hymnal of thighs
scarred in the numbness of quiet bruises,
aching for the press of your needs
to awaken the ache, and kiss the morning
held fresh in my eyes,
with a glance into hunger,
still fresh upon your tongue...



My soul rests within the ebony shadows,
straddling your fingers, as they
pound the song from your heartbeat
descending into a crescendo of requiems divertimento,
unraveling all of these unspoken words,
in soft whispers of your embrace

Curve the edge of my thirst
in that place where the heart stills,
that place, where the pulse quickens
so deep inside the quiet of your benediction
redeem me in the corners of your smile,
and I will paint my love in Monet,
so soft, upon the canvas of this
Mozarts serenade of us

The aftermath, a concerto,
a delicate stroke of crimson
smeared upon the ivory parchment of my skin,
"I love you" etched
beneath the wings of your song,

...I am the unspoken lyrics...

you are the music of my life
fading into the colours

...of love's last breath...
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2016
seine teil Scheiße: star wars vol. 7 - bulldoggekauen -
am i the sole person to suggest: well it's kinda ****, would't
you agree? only a Metzger would know
pork chops, beef Israelite, everything worth a chop...
i'm the hungry party... i'm eager to taste the blood,
relieve me the anticipation and give me the snack limbs
i negotiated to chew blooded, thirsty, Spaniard in Brasil,
e.g. sure the clarinet was a Jewish instrument,
we all loved the clarinet, but the Schweinkauen -
Mozart's requiem, question.... germanic in operatic?
nein, Latino... from mundus (day)
then onto rex (king), Latin, not germanic
the clarinet soloist from Hungary, Łacina for Latin (W) -
the clarinet in Hungarian also indented Hebrew...
oddly enough the clarinet meant Hebrew:
or Hebraii... sha! shtil!  this is the Hungarian orchestra
performing Mozart in the Royal Albert Hall..
i heard it sand in German,
if they're singing Mozart's Requiem in Latin
i want to heart Händel's / Hændel's
Messiah sung in Latin, deviating from the crude
ugly English... i want Händel's / Hændel's
sung in Latin...  believe in the aesthetic god...
i say that because William James believed
in the gentleman devil and the godly peasant...
rude RA RA RA! HA HA! ******!
i am actually fearful of the idea that god minds
the Holocaust like he minds interrupting revision
on some work of art... our belief in god
is so far removed from what we practice, no
democracy seems to match it...
we have established a belief in god
alongside the belief that we're all potential Mozarts...
that won't work... it's not going to happen...
brothers Grimm had perfected saying
something about equality: the end.
no, there's no room for revisionism...
we were never born equal, we were always born
with a competitive / gambling insurance...
to further living outside the jungle...
i still find it fascinating to keep a subjective experience...
but it will be hard to not keep a subjective experience
of this world... we will never attain an objective
experience of this world... it's impossible to reach
an objective experience of this world,
with whatever adjective come attached...
because we simply can't speak for the entirety of mankind,
which is why there's not Simon from the Ant-Colony
of Barbados telling other ants: Simon says...
we can't experience both the subjective and the objective
arguments that might lead to augmentation...
but trying to attain the pure objective expression
of life will lead us into blind alleys..
we'll be found adamantly craving subjectivity...
western society has concentrated on the objective lobe
of the brain, it ridiculously forgot the subjective lobe of concerns...
which is why i think episode 7 of star
wars is a bit ****... not, it's really crap,
it's pathetic... like Nietzsche said: imagine talking
for the entire humanity... i can't imagine it,
i'm already doing it... it's because the post-colonial
society concentrated on objectivity as a source
of sensibility, came up with logistics translated as
utilitarianism - that last word reads:
metaphysical socialism, but i like to think of it as
ultra ******.
or as Byron said: i really don't know
where culture is leading us,
but the purification process includes the
ultra Darwinist attention span of Nazis...
you don't like it? fine! roll the dice once more,
and pray for Mayfair!
Pomeranian German? well, it's worth a translation:
die metzger (the butcher) und (and) schweinkauen (pork chew).
Coyote Oct 2010
Walking down Fifth Avenue
on a Sunday afternoon.
Shuffling to the rhythm
of the ghetto’s tortured
brilliance.
African Mozarts fill the air
with their street corner
symphonies.
Silence ensues as a slow
rain begins to fall.
The lively street soon becomes
deserted, a shadow of an ancient
memory.
Turning left on Fifty Second.
A couple huddling in a doorway.
They manage a smile as the
lingering rain continues unabated.
Restivo Oct 2010
4:45 am.

who would torture a seal with fluorescent objects?
it no longer trusts anything but fish.
unless they are day-glo.

5:03 am.

it is not in the pit of stomach, like everyone paraphrases from everyone else.
fear is located within my pores, it is seeped out with my sweat and soaks through my sheets and leaves damp uncomfortable spots underneath my armpits, lower back, ***, knees, and the soles of my feet.

5:26 am.

nodding implies agreement but I never allowed this!
(someone is going to lose their job for this, I swear.
this needs to go through ME for approval first.)
I just want to go to sleep.
nodding off but NOT approving my eyes to snap open again, I HEAR EVERY SOUND in my house right now.
the only people home are the creaks and cracks and apparently my creeping paranoia.
james doesn’t count, he is too far away, we are separated by a wall that doesn’t even allow the sound of a ****** to pass through, we might as well be on different planets for all of my subtle cries for help.
and what could he do?
I am naked, literally, figuratively, I am frightened of sleep and what can he do about it?
and right now,

5:41 am,

I am almost certain his face will be decomposing.
and if I wake him, will he be too groggy to put it back together before he comes to see me?
(and so we are all one-time mozarts, the very first time we fall asleep in our existence we must learn to compose our faces. we are all prodigies but we lose our creativity as time goes and we put ourselves together the same way every day for the rest of our lives. maybe if we all woke up in the middle of the night and saw that unraveled mess in the mirror, we would become geniuses again and compose a new piece.)

6:00 am.

my heart is beating like a vertical iron rod placed straight in my middle, from my throat to my crotch, stiffening me, now disappearing, now back again, and when it fades away, I fear moving, I am afraid of curling up because of the horrendous wrenching I would get when that beating heart rod returns.

6:06 am.

I think of the seal, which confuses me now as time is the greatest murderer of dream images so the fluorescent objects no longer make the sense they did when the dream was whole but the feeling I got from that dream leaves an uncomfortable sticky residue!

6:10 am.

the sun makes its presence known as a strip across my door.
if I leave and come back, and the strip is broken, I’ll know someone was in here.
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2016
it's there, i've seen it,
in the last days of january
and the first days of february,
in england:
the sunset between 4pm and 5pm
reveals the famous vanilla sky
adapted to film,
from the original spanish
open your eyes (abre los ojos).
which is why poetry needs
to become more prone to optics
than resonate in competition
with mozarts and beethovens
and orchestras,
it's but a single voice
with the whirlwinds of silence
for music... it requires a detachment
from musicology,
and enter the realm of optics,
inquiring paintings, translating
paintings into animate scenarios,
using these crude alphabetical
tools to conjure earthquakes
and tsunamis and nose diving
crows perched in mid-flight
to an abrupt microscopic honing
of that scrap of food at the end
of the tunnel.
Gabriel Aug 2020
One:

This is
the white-night
burst
of seven billion
voices singing
requiem dies irae
as mountains fall -
desperately breaking
independently
from the shards.

This is
the collective collapse
of a season of stars -
of Van Goghs and Mozarts,
and all those dug up
graves; bodies
loose in the wind.

This is
lovers’ last request;
worldwide relief
underneath burning wood,
silk moon,
translucent veil.

This is
the eulogy
of the earth.

This;
unwritten.

——————————————————————————————

Two:

H­ere,
the silent universe.

Here,
intergalactic war
halted, planets
bowed with rings
draped in black.

Here,
mourning the loss
of a child
who had merely
taken one shaky
footstep
into the dark.

Here,
solemn species
contemplate
the finality of this;
somewhere
an old-earth radio
creaks its way
into playing
Electric Light Orchestra
and the older ones sigh
remembering the
burned out
blue sky.

Here,
entire constellations
flick themselves
out of place;
an infinitesimal
blip
marked down
in universal history -
and songs echo
in a vacuum
for a brief eternity;
the collective memory
that once
just once
the earth had existed.
Something I wrote for a first year university creative writing class.

— The End —