i don't watch home movies
hate them
reason being because
when i was young
i was looking for a movie
my mother
had recorded for me
and accidentally
put one in the vcr
that i'm not sure
i was supposed to see
i know the obvious response
"uh oh, ****"
sorry to disappoint
they were only marked with dates
  1991
on live television
montel williams asks my father
"how can you just throw
your child away like a piece of trash?"
   1994
i spend so much time
in the emergency room
that my parents stop
penciling in growth marks
on the frame
of my bedroom door
i always thought
it was because they believed
i would never grow out
of this sickness
sometimes i believe
the reason that they
never bought me a dream catcher
was because they never thought
i'd live long enough
to see them come true
   1996
i am eliminated
from a spelling bee
because i didn't know
the 'dad' is silent in 'family'
   2013
before i got into poetry
i used to do standup
none of my jokes were funny
one of the other comics
tells me my skits are dry
sometimes sad
he says "why don't you joke
about something like your family?"
so i say
"i never wore any sunblock
because i didn't want anything
to keep me from my father"
i say "what do you call christmas
without lights or heat?"
before he has a chance
to answer
i say "1997. better yet
why don't you
make like a dad and
leave"
   2014
every time we drive
past the hospital
my mother reminds me
how much it cost to save my life
like she'd rather
have her money back
she doesn't have to say
that sometimes she wishes
it was me who had died
instead of my brother
i can hear it in the way
she says "love you"
sometimes i imagine
that if i were to die
that she
would pick out a casket for a child
because she never loved
the person i became
yesterday i told my father
how close i'd been
to suicide lately
and he said
"that's my boy,
livin on the edge.."
and i can't remember
if i laughed
or cried

I no longer watch
The Tonight Show,
Can't stand his auto *******:
He Loves them all,
They're Fantasatic and Great,
They're all The Best;
And on his A List!
But let's be serious,
They're just entertainers.

His Pros and Cons
Are so predictable,
The Superlatives
Are quite despicable.

I miss Mike and Merv and Phil
(Not Dr. Phil... he's a pill),
And Geraldo and Jerry,
Like Heckle and Jeckle,
Gave us our daytime fill.
Sally and Montel did well,
Like Ricki, **** and Arsenio,
Carson, Dave and Jay Leno.
They surpassed the late night swill
Of Jimmy's mono-drivel.

Turn the "M" sideways.

Marshal Mathers
Marilyn Monroe
Marilyn Manson
Matthew McConaughey
Meghan Markle
Mac Miller
Melissa McCarthy
Mads Mikkelsen
Mandy Moore
Max Minghella
Malcom McDowell
                            
M.J                 (M) 13+(J) 10 = 23 (two threes) 33

Michael Jordan
Michael Jackson
Michael Johnson
Magic Johnson
**** Jagger
Marc Jacobs
Milla Jovovich
Montel Jordan

C.C               (C) 3+(C) 3 =  (Two Threes)

Chevy Chase
Cindy Crawford
Chelsea Clinton
Courtney ***
Chris Cornel
Christopher Columbus
Charlie Chaplin
Camila Cabello
Chris Cuomo
Chuck Connors

B.C or C.B               (B) 2+(C) 3 = (Two Threes)

Bill Clinton
Bill Cosby
Bradley Cooper
Benedict Cumberbatch
Billy Crystal
Ben Carson
Chadwick Boseman
Christian Bale
Chris Brown
Charles Bronson
Chris Benoit

                           Companies Hiding Evil Numbers

BBC=223   Skull and bones 322 (biblical)  just Google 322 bible. They are trying to become God's.  Eat from the tree of life and live forever.  What do you think that means?
WWE Flip the letters around and you get 333. For 33.3
CNN logo is CW for 33 (C)3 + (W) flipped is a 3
F.O.X in the hebrew alphabet is 666

The future for me is
already a thing of the
past -
You are my first love
and you will be my last

Don't make your promises
in the dark
Show me that you care everyday
Tell me your secrets
You know you trust me

I'll give you everything you want
everything need
Just say it
We'll soon see each other
and never let go

I love you Montel.

One night after wining and dining
He said he thought we should try
'For a baby, it will be awesome
And your clock is ticking on by'

I looked at him very intently
Like madness had taken his mind
Why would he want a baby?
Why would he be so inclined?

'A guy on 'Montel' says he had one
he says its the best thing he's done
It's like your whole life has rebooted
And a more exciting one has begun'

Well I think I was quite bowled over
It hadn't been high on my list
I mean babies are fine in small doses
But they're not something I'd say I had missed

But here we are nine months later
Panting and pushing like hell
I blame the wine and the oysters
And he blames the guy on 'Montel'

what's that blow movie character,
tht johnny depp character?
i was once upon
a time approached by
a "paddy chav"
  character in high school...
georgie jung
what with my french braid...
what with two years
growing my hair long
in highschool,
being called, chewbaca?
                      paid off..
but not...
          af you'd expect...
i had teen girls:
   ****-pants asking me what
shampoo i used...
        herbal essence
i'd reply...
                 i pretended to
rock climb,
i was big on squash, gym,
and cycling...
and where did that get me?
liter of ms. amber
and 10 years later:
i kind of looked back...
i began to "forget"
that there was something
wrong with me,
i never pointed a finger,
but this england we're talking
about:
if there's nothing wrong
with this island,
then sure as **** there's certainly
something wrong with it...
now? now i give a **** up
to the point where
a supermarket cashier
calls me darling or not...
that's what i give a **** about...
whether i chase her to the floor
to pick up her keys,
and, "whether" of not i remember
to tell her: good-night...
**** california dreaming...
i could have wanted to
revive the life of  american dream...
i never wanted to see the norwegian
fjords...
      me?
not even as far as iceland...
i....
       want the reincarnation
procedure associated
with the faroe islands...
wardrunga...
the crow,
pecking, croacking,
pecking, croacking,
croacking, pecking...
   one eye blind...

              kán skål...
i don't want to visit:
cali-for-nya...
                  i want to go somewhere
to practice the patience
of Tao...
      like south yorkshire...
or the foreo islands...
     i want to live a life...
where the world:
is dead....
to me, and any "beside",
extension of my imprint,
indentation...
      i want the world
worth the Tao inversion
of nihilism...
i want:
      **** the world:
but i'm still in it sort of
scenario.

                  this is not the sort
of instagram h'american
blueprint *******...
    no... this transcends
the "casual" traffic
of "information economics"...
or whatever new spew
comes our way...
                        
  what sort of, "economy",
dictates the rules of "information
economics",
when a hude portion of "it"
is censored?
          
i don't want to go to a montel
parking-lot,
florida, las vegas,
new york,
los angeles,
berkley,
         ******* disneland...
i just want to visit
the fareo islands...

   mind you,
the english, as an island peoples....
do not resemble
island peoples' ontology...
of being...
solipsistic...
  idiosyncratic...
the english are an island folk,
that "think"
but then sooner or later
retract "thought"
in being aligned
to a continental mentality...
            
sámal joensen-mikines....

   i come from a continental
stock, and history,
living among island peoples...
and yet...
i'm no more an island "person"
than i am a continent "person"...
maybe... just maybe,
i'd get the drift / riff
  into an islander mentality
if i lived on the faroe islands
or iceland...
not in britain though,
not in in ireland...
          i don't need to buy into
all of this ****,
this Pakistani
   virtual reality of Brimingham,
this Hindu / Sikh Manchester
pandering *******
"as if": every now, "supposedly"
likes cricket, for ****'s sake!

    i don't like being told
what to do, esp. a second time,
tome, of when i did,
what i was supposed to do when
learning the language,
by some,
           ****-boot-licking
   strap-on-ultra-gagging-******-tour
pansies, with a fetish
   for prepubescent drag-queens, o.k.?!

the english...
they're hardly the islander
stereotype mentality equivalent
to someone who's faroe
or icelandic...
they're continental through
and through...
look at them now quiver
at the prospect of
"getting it wrong"...
******* wankers...
    saxon son's of *******...
i live with them:
but that doesn't mean
i have to like them...
   their language,
having impreganted me...
will not, result,
in, some *****-slapped
integrational pristine *****-*****
of regurgitation,
will it?!

             i have my own head
to think with and to think for...
i don't need some Bristolian /
   Devon *******
telling me what a **** can say,
and what i can't!

made easier...
thank god i didn't come 'ere
for the women,
but for an armchair's worth
of language utility.

“Wayne’s turning 21!” we were all told with jubilation.
Three invitations flew over clear wires – not the envisaged four.
Off we went to see Johannesburg in all her splendid animation,
To see rowdy Bosmont and Hillbrow where one could easily score.

Welcome, welcome. Hug, kiss.
Decorative drinks,
Fiery foods,
Howsthingsgoingshesgoodwerewellthanksohpleasesayhellotosoa­ndso

Young couples and old lonely perverts boogied
To cheesy, overplayed Montel Jordan
As a token of celebration of the coming of age
Of a distant stranger in their shoulder-brushing midst.

Unmoved and unphased by the utterings of
Worn walls which let off more than they should,
I steeped out for air –
All too surprised what I found there.

Head patriarchs and young bucks were locked in a humming imbizo,
Ironing out the kinks and strategizing links.
Circled were the Rat, the Rock and the Rock’s Mirror:
His unknown carbon copy warranted no introduction.

Cheerio, charming castaway.
Sorry our moms couldn’t bury their green feud.
Of all the dirt and grime Jozi spreads,
The memory of our encounter is a most indelible mould.
Meet you on the flipside, lost brother.
You live your life and don’t look back – you deserve better.