It has been 12 yrs that you have been my son, alot of smiles and days of unending fun. It seems like yeasterday you was my shadow that followed where ever I seemed to go, my little boy could always make me smile, he was my strength when I was weak and my partner forever this I know. Months grew to years and I charished each one but now the laughfter has been replaced with silence and the eyes that once held joy is now filled with tears. The little hands that once reached to me with kindness and always ready to play, now seems so distant and keeps pushing me away. I miss what use to be. Never will I forget the little soft voice that said mommy,,,,,,,,,,  come play with me.                         ( Thanks to a Divorce)

I hate you lonleness ihate my empty arms
no smile at the end of day
I don't like meals for one
I miss conversation
and words that say I love you
no more childrens voices
no more family friends
no more joy
no more laughfter
no more happy ever after
will I ever smile again ?

I had my first encounter with beaucrarcy,
the social security offices. Beaucracy is hard to find
but not as hard as I thought it would be, the building number
lied.
The gruff line manager, the room
what I thought a prison line would look like.
Bored brown walls and a long line of people
sitting staticly staring.
****, thank god for the great Walt Whitman.

The number before mine is called, the one after
is mine, it turned out to be mine.
I sit and wait, reading my book.
I keep getting called
thinking that the thick head idiot should get up, until the gruff  guard,
yells my number some snickering, some sweet laughfter
as I yell “yo!” I swear to sweet god I had no clue.

I voyage up to the window, exectping
a slow slog through beaucratic mazes.
So sorry
all smiles, a joke about smash burger
I laugh pretending I have a clue.
My school id got the job done and I brought
everything I joke, no problems,
we laugh she says I’m cute and
that my mother did a bang up job,
if only I could get girls saying the same thing
and a parting piece of advice told laughing:
Just know whenever you are late or there is a delay
god saved you from a car crash,
I love that yet I’m rather concerned that I
have been saved from that many car crashes.

A man plants what another sows but only God can make it grow

a man breaks his faith and praise the world
deny his soul for he's afraid
and in the world he stays

Men's sinful antics crippling as he strays fear is the master of his shame

The shinning stars are magic to a child's gaze

Children swing in laughfter not affraid to go faster they see clearly threw the rain

Devils telling riddles planting seeds of doubt inside his brain

One will look for answers one will pray while science gains and art decays

God gets his defients an alliance must be made

let not what we doubt or understand be so dreadful to withstand

For pride grows like wild weeds inside a man

Lifted by the crowed he's praised

Man is weak and drops him on his crown to end his reign

He put his faith in man and left in pain thank God we live to fight another day

To seek the truth my
friend so rest your tired eyes and be at peace their is an end.