"Write hard and clear about what hurts." -- Ernest Hemingway

It hurts that my grandmother might not be around for my wedding
It hurts that my grandfather may be, but may not remember it
It hurts that I live so far my from people I love
It hurts knowing they will hurt when I tell them I want to move clear across the country
It hurts that I am stuck here, facing people I would rather avoid
It hurts that a place I called home has turned on me
It hurts more that I may be imagining they have turned on me
It hurts to think I may have disappointed the first person to give me a chance
It hurts that people I once called friends will speak so bitterly about me
It hurts that, ten months later, I so strongly miss someone who melds perfectly with us
It hurts that she would rather run than even attempt to see what it's like
It hurts that she may act so calm, as if nothing happened
It hurts that her facade is so strong, while mine crumbles at the sight of her
It hurts that the longer we go on, the more we risk becoming "that creepy older couple"
It hurts that it hurts him, when I still speak of wanting another
It hurts that I would not be complete without one or the other
It hurts that so many friends are married, and growing families
It hurts that I will have to defend my own choices in growing mine
It hurts that I must defend my family to my family
It hurts that so many people work the job that pays the bills, and the job they really love
It hurts that the job I love must be revealed strategically
It hurts that who I am must be revealed strategically
It hurts anticipating the hurt that will come from that judgement
It hurts when I try to broaden my horizons, and I can see the hurt in my best friend's eyes
It hurts watching people not fulfill their full potential
It hurts watching people work so hard, but still gain so little
It hurts working so hard in my job, becoming so tired that my joy, my passion falls by the wayside
It hurts that we work so hard for things that do not truly comfort us
It hurts that we take so little for granted
It hurts that we take so many for granted

Swelling and drowning

I feel it coming on again

I can’t stop it anymore and it’s swallowing me whole

I let it take

                  me

                          away

because it’s so much easier to drift than fight to stay.

I slowly recover, head pounding from the aftermath

But not for long

Thinking kills

Realization hurts

Breathing becomes jagged

I can’t stop it and I let it stir me, wind me, push me, kick me, hit me, punch me

I give in

Because it’s so much easier to walk around feeling dead than pray for a heartbeat.

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

And I don’t even know why but I let it

I ignore the hectic and frantic screams rumbling from inside me

I ignore it all because it’s so much easier than to put the effort in and listen

I just want to fly away and be the bird

Sing my song in the morning and fly away and drift off whenever it hurts

Because it hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

But I can’t and I’m stuck

Forever dwindling between the scale ranging from hurt to happiness

Falling short of okay most days

But you mask it with a painted smile and go on

Even though it hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

And I don’t have a right to feel it

But I do

And it won’t go away

I ignore it but I’m not who I was

It’s not that easy anymore

And I hate myself for letting it get to this

Because now it hurts

When it should feel numb

When I was able to feel numb

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

I know you don't care anymore but..

It hurts when I breathe
It hurts when I speak
It hurts when I convince myself
To get back on my feet
It hurts to see a smile
And to drown in the rain
It hurts so ******* much
I think all I know is pain
It hurts to watch love movies
It hurts to be alone
It hurts to see the pictures
Still sprawled throughout our home
It hurts to wake up everyday
And hurts to close my eyes
It hurts to take these lonely walks
Under the darkness in the sky
It hurts to look at women
It hurts to pretend
It hurts so ******* much
Will this ever end?
It hurts when you come and trample
Through my dreaming mind
It hurts when I wake up
and can not press rewind
It hurts when I see your number
And when you text me too..
I think it hurts so much..
Because my heart is still with you
You never gave it back
And now it hurts to live..
A man now less than loving
With so very much to give
It hurts to see you laughing
And it hurts to fake the role
And pride will not allow myself
To ever be made whole
It hurts so ******* much..
I'm losing my ******* mind
On **** here she comes
Hey yeah I'm doing fine

When it hurts it hurts.
When sadness grips my throat I let it linger.
I let the breath in my lungs dissipate.
Because why does it matter?

When it hurts it hurts.
When the air is leaving my body and memories flood in,
I don't care if I have no air.
The next best thing is the death of the old.

But the problem is whenever it dies and I have "Moved on" it's a lie.
I get dragged back in.
I somehow get breath back in my lungs.
And the past comes back to life.

Today was one of those days.
A photograph was found,
A feeling was ignored,
A day of hurt pursued.

When it hurts it hurts.
When the past is found
When the past is relived.
**** me and the edge that I get to.

I see over the cliff.
I see over the precipice.
I take the leap over and over again, but I keep ending up right where I started.
The past won't ******* die.

When it hurts it hurts,
And guess what?
Right now, in this moment,
It ******* hurts.

Sorry, mom and dad
Sorry, sensitive folks.
Sorry, for writing this down and putting it out in the world.
But right now I don't care.

I'll tag it explicit.
I'll tag it adults only.
But guess what?
Life is explicit even if you don't swear.

Because when it hurts it hurts.
When the truth is laid out before you, don't run from it.
Embrace the truth, the pain, the misery, the sadness.
Even if you try to ignore it, you can't.
Because when it HURTS it HURTS.

I want her back
I don't want to move on.

I don't want her back.
I want to move on.

I'll probably be better tomorrow.
But who knows?
I sure as Hell don't.
What I do know...

What I do know...

Sorry for the repeat I was really trying to find something to say there.

Oh I remember...

When it hurts it hurts.
Let me be,
Let me feel,
Let me not be home,
Let me be far away.

God, when it hurts it hurts and you understand.
God, when those photographs find their way to my eyes let me hurt.
It's not wrong to feel the way you feel.
I'm allowed to be sad.
Even if every fiber of my being is ashamed I haven't moved on.

When it hurts it hurts.
Let it be.
Leave me be.
Leave it where it is, so I can see.  


(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But its worth it....Yeah its worth it....
Yeah..Yeah..
(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But its perfect....Yeah its perfect
Yeah..Yeah..
(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But its worth it....Yeah its perfect
Yeah..Yeah..
(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But Love is perfect....Yeah Love is worth it.
Yeah..Yeah..


Love is pain..
Love is care..
Love is  scarce..
Love is wealth
Love is Jesus bloodshed..
Love hurts but its worth the fight..Yeah

Love is very hard to attain..It seems that love went MIA..or maybe I'm just going blind homie..I been searching tryna find it, where could it be..I don't know mane..but searching for it kinda made me weak..
Love is strength
Love is kind..
Love is the best high ever, Love is a feeling that we all need to acquire.
Without love there's no peace..
Without love there's no you..
Without love there's no me..
Love can't be bought but Love is richer than gold ,silver , & billions all combine together.
Love is what so many people need..
Love is unconditional..
Love is indescribable..
Love is why the sun come up..Love is why the sun goes down..
Love is why the moon shines so bright..
Love is why the stars are so beautiful at night..
Love saves a broken heart and pampers it..not tampers with it..
Aye..(love3)..when I find you you are forever mines..real talk..for show..
Love is worth more than this world is worth dawg
I'm just letting ya know,Love is what got us all here in the first place, Thank you so much Jesus, Thank You So much Heavenly Father..Aye..Yeah

(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But its worth it....Yeah its worth it....
Yeah..Yeah..
(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But its perfect....Yeah its perfect
Yeah..Yeah..
(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But its worth it....Yeah its perfect
Yeah..Yeah..
(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But Love is perfect....Yeah Love is worth it.
Yeah..Yeah..

Love can pull you down & tear you apart from the bottom to the top, but its all worth it, dawg   its so **** perfect my *****.. its all worth it Yeah..Uhh
Its worth more than being famous, its worth more than being rich , Yeah its worth more than the most luxurious crib, its worth more than the most luxurious whip..Love is  worth more than the most luxurious jewelry.. Love is so precious , so if you get it then take care of it homie..Aye,..Love is everything to me.. Love washed all our sins, & Love took away all are  pain..Thank You so much Jesus again for your heroic deed..Aye

Why is it so hard tryna find love, Aye, its harder than taking a calculus quiz dawg, & I been trying my best tryna past it, please help me Lord please..please I need your guidance..Aye..you can't buy love, no matter how much money you think you spending on it ..its only gained by trust dawg, Aye..
Where ya at love, where you been , I really want ya, I need ya bad..(love4)....Yeah
Yeah love hurts so ******* much but Imma fein for it, no demon, I'm so addicted to the feeling bru, its like smoking on some good kush, its my medicine, I need love to help me unwind & relax Yeah.. So when I find love, Imma make love mines forever & ever dawg, ain't no running away from me Yeah..



(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But its worth it....Yeah its worth it....
Yeah..Yeah..
(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But its perfect....Yeah its perfect
Yeah..Yeah..
(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But its worth it....Yeah its perfect
Yeah..Yeah..
(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But Love is perfect....Yeah Love is worth it.
Yeah..Yeah..

Where is Love at,..Yeah I been searching..
Aye, I need (love2).. & I want (love2).. So where you at (Love2)..Who you been with (love2)
Where the **** is love at,Where the **** has love been for so long man..
Yeah Yeah..Uhh
I want love..,Wheres it at,  I can't find it..I need love ****..Where has it been at man, I been searching steady tryna guide it, but I can't find it so I'm still trying,.. Aye
I..I want love,..I..I need love where is love at..(Where the **** it been..
I can't find it..Wheres it at3)
Love hurts yeah..but its perfect,
(Yeah its worth it2)..(Aye,I want love, I need love, where is love at,..2)..Aye
Where the **** has it been, please stop hiding from me love, I really need you, I'm so sad..Uhh..(Wheres it at..Where is love at4)..Aye..because its worth it, yeah its so perfect..Uhh...Yeah I need love, I want love but..(I can't find it,no2)..(Where is Love at *4)..(where the **** its at aye4)..its so perfect , its worth it, (love6)..(Yeah, love hurts but its worth it..2)..Yeah love hurts but its perfect yeah its so worth it..(Yeah love hurts3)..but its worth it, man its so perfect,.. (Love7..Where the **** it been..
I can't find it..Wheres it at3)
(Where the **** is it at..noo..I can't find it man3)..(Where the **** is love at..3)..*****

I want it in my hands yeah I want love so bad man, I been seeking love for years & years  chasing after it,..I been looking everywhere I'm going mad,..Uhh..Yeah
But its worth every mile of this journey that I have been hiking for sure I'm gonna find it, ..man its just so **** perfect Yeah man, its just so **** worth it, Love hurts yeah but its so **** perfect, Yeah its so **** worth it, Yeah..
I need (love2), I want (love2) so much..Yeah
I want (love2) , I need (love2) so my ***** I'm searching..
I need love, I want love my ***** Imma find it
(Yeah ***** Imma find it2)..(Love7)
Where the **** is it at...I need love Yeah I been searching & Imma find it..
Aye..
(Love4)

It hurts when you touch me like that. No, it doesn’t ache or burn or offend or leave me in a physical state of harm. It just hurts when you touch me like that.
Yeah, like that.
It doesn’t hurt when you remove your shirt and I my skirt.
It just hurts in that place where people feel that kind of euphoria. It doesn’t hurt on the outside. So for now I’m waiting for you to be done so the pain will subside.
When you touch me like that I can smell you, your sweat stings my nostrils. It drips from your naked chest onto mine.
When you sweat on me like that I want to shower. I want to throw myself flat onto those ice-cold bodies of water. You know, the ones that sting like needles and continue to ring from the inside out. The ones that pierce you all over. That kind of water.
When you touch me like that, yeah like that.
‘That no particular scandal once can touch.’
With your hands like that. When you touch my skin, my arms, my waist with your fingers.
I can see your eyes. I can feel you looking at me.
‘With eyes wide open; standing, speaking moving,’
It hurts. It hurts when you look at me like that. It hurts when I smell you. It hurts when you touch me like that. And when it hurts, when it hurts and you’re touching me and you smell from that grossly pungent sweat that drips onto me and you’re looking at my stomach and my neck and into my eyes, it hurts.
And when it hurts, I’m not here.
And when you’re thinking that our bodies and souls have made that divine, timeless, beautiful, passionate connection,
I’m not here.
And when you’re thinking those things that I can hear you thinking, it hurts.
That’s when it hurts.
And when it hurts (when you look and touch and smell and think the way you do) I’m with him and not you.
When I’m with him, it doesn’t hurt.
His hands are soft and his scent dances around me.
His scent draws me in so that I can look and touch and think those things.
When I’m with him it doesn’t hurt.
With you it hurts.
That’s when it hurts.

It Hurts

it hurts , it hurts
when your gaze scan to search for her sight
not mine
it hurts

it hurts, it hurts
when all the melody that you sang
was for her,
it hurts

it hurts, it hurts
when the night came and those sleepless night haunt you,
in your thoughts was her,
her ear to ear smile
her full lips
her soft yet shiny black hair
her angelic voice that soothes you through the days,
it hurts

it hurts, it hurts
when you spend hours and hours with her, and yet
you never feel that it was enough,
all you wanted to do was to be with her,
by her side,
everyday
it hurts

it hurts, it hurts
when your heart skips a beat every time she looks at you,
even when she did it absent-mindedly

It hurts,it hurts
When i know you would never know this kind of
subtle torture,
A silent scream,
An invisible pain,
You will never know,
And it hurts.

Stop talking
Cause I'm falling
Ever deeper in love
And it ****** hurts

It hurts cause I know it will never will be.

There will never be a you and me.

It hurts cause when I sleep you will always be a part of my dream.

A beautiful dream but when I wake up it will be a nightmare cause again it will never will be.

It hurts cause no matter how I try to run away, just one call from you and I'd be there in a heartbeat.

It hurts cause I'm shackled by your smile, your stare, and your laughs.

It hurts cause when your hurt you run to me and I cant do a thing.

It hurts cause I know you dont have a clue.

It hurts that you already found your love and I'm the reason why you stayed in love.

It hurts cause now you ask me how to love him more.

It hurts cause I answer the question.

It hurts cause we've met but we were not meant to be.

It hurts
It hurts
It hurts

It hurts
It hurts to see you go through this pain,
Everyday,
It hurts to see through your smile,
Through that hideous, exaggerated laughter of yours.
It hurts to see the truth behind those puppy dog eyes,
It hurts to see straight through your lies.
It hurts that you ATTEMPT to lie or cover up.
It hurts that you're up to the point where you CAN'T go on.
It hurts that my efforts are useless,
It hurts that I'm hurting you in the process,
It hurts that no matter how hard I try -
I'm pushing you further away.
It hurts that you can't talk to me.
It hurts that you can't even look me in the eye.
It hurts when you cry or experience pain.
I can't help but cry too, with you.
It's hurting.
It's hurting you...
It's hurting.

©Maniba Kiani  24/10/13

it happend too quick for me ,you left in a hurry and i left broken hearted,
only wish to turn back time to tell you how much i loved you,
cause babe it hurts to forget.
hurts to forget the first time our eyes met ,the first 'hi' and the first follow request,
hurts to forget the first message i sent and sitting hours on end for your reply.

how we stayed up late in the night trying to keep the light flickering and promising not to pass out,progressing from writing a book together to staying on calls with dead silence
,the fragility of emotions never taken care of,

after all this time , burnt all photos,washed all clothes but don't seem to get you off my body yet,cause babe it hurts to forget,
hurts to forget those starry nights,hurts to forget the kisses we never had and the perfect plans that never saw light.

still i stay , don't know why , hoping you'd come back , cause that's all we ever preached to never let go
all books lead to this the perfect time , the couple goals we set,
yet here i am with no reference to past and nothing to look forward to cause i lost all my time with you....and it ain't coming back
it hurts to forget ,hurts to forget the warmth we shared ,hurts to forget all the warmth we shared hurts to forget the silence of love,it hurts to forget
hurts to forget you babe
hurts to forget us :(

If it hurts , I hope you are doing well
Keeping it together ,
If it hurts, I hope you are healing well
As time passes by,
If it hurts , I hope you are fighting with it
Every day with every strength left in you
If it hurts , I hope you don't give up
Don't give up yet , try harder instead
If it hurts ,  I hope you know well
That you are special.
If it hurts , I hope that you know
You can do anything no matter what hypocrites says.


If it hurts, I hope you give hope
To the people around you who's hurting too,
If it hurts , I want you to know that ,
I am hurting too.
If it hurts, it's okay.
Everyone is hurting too.

But if it hurts I hope this poetry
Comforts your pain and help you too.
If it hurts , Let's stay brave and help
To whom Its hurting too''

It hurts. It hurts to see him. It hurts to see him smile.
It hurts to see him sad and broken. Like I have been
And like I have made him many times before,
despite my intentions

It hurts to see him walking
because every time,
he’s walking away.

It hurts to see him go run in the rain.
Wishing I was the water droplets on his skin.
Because he found the joy in the thing most disliked
With the lightning and thunder chasing us
But that’s just me daydreaming now

It hurts to push past him in the hallway,
with his scent reminding me of all the time
That never was and couldn’t have been

It hurts to see her in the halls,
with the hoodie I used to call mine.

It hurts to know that I can’t be there for him.
When I know he needs it,
but he just doesn’t want it from me.

I want to love him, not manipulate and use him like she did.
Not try to change him into something that he’s not just for the benefit of my own,
like the other one did.

It hurts

It hurts to know that all of that is gone.
It hurts to know that I can dial the same number but it’s never going to ring

It hurts to know that I’m going to call him anyway.
Because breaking old habits is hard.

“The telephone number you have dialed is temporarily not in service.”

Hemingway said,
"Write hard and clear about what hurts."

And I'm hurting.
And it's muddled.
And it's clear all at once.

But I know this:
It hurts hard.

When part of your heart
Up and leaves-
Even when you know that it's coming-
It hurts like part of your heart was up
And cut out.

It hurts like when you get home
And you run in-
And no one's there to greet you.

It hurts like when you sit at home-
And the piano keys are dusty.

It hurts and it's deafening
And deadening-
And the silence is overwhelming.

It hurts like a coffee *** that doesn't get empty,
And a grocery bill that goes down.

It hurts like unworn shoes in a closet
And it hurts like unwashed sheets
On an unused bed.

It hurts like borrowing his clothes
And reading his books
And writing him letters.

It hurts hard
And clear
And muddled
All at once.

It hurts like goodbye.

i love you
don't you know?
more then she could ever love you

and i know its just a short thing
you and her
but it still hurts to think
of you and her
together
while I'm sitting here alone
thinking of you in her arms
while I'm all alone
without you
and it hurts
and it hurts
and it hurts
and its hurts

i should have said no
should have said no
no
no
no
no
it hurts thinking of
you and her together
while I'm alone

god I'm so stupid
and I've made mistakes
but I've been here for you
I'd never heard her name before
yet you say shes one of your closest friends

and i know its just a short thing
you and her
but it still hurts to think
of you and her
together
while I'm sitting here alone
thinking of you in her arms
while I'm all alone
without you
and it hurts
and it hurts
and it hurts
and its hurts

i should have said no
should have said no
no
no
no
no
it hurts thinking of
you and her together
while I'm alone

but i can't tell you no
i love you too much to tell you know
so I'll be quiet
because when you're happy
I'm happy too

I try to remember how the trail looked the day we took the long way up Griffith Park
But I can't and it hurts
I try to remember the movie we watched every Thursday night and why it was so intriguing
But I can't and it hurts
I try to remember how the apartment looked when you began packing
But I can't and it hurts
I try to remember the design of the door that I focused on for hours after you left
But I can't and it hurts
It hurts
Because all I can remember is the smile that caressed your lips after you whispered 'I love you'
But that hurts too
Because all I can remember is the journey of the lines etched on the palms of your hands in the dark
But that hurts too
Because all I can remember is the exact shade of your eyes as the tears streamed mercilessly down your cheeks before you closed the door
But that hurts too
I fall back in my seat and try to regret all the things I missed in this world while I stared at you
But I can't and that hurts the most

Lets walk down the street
Why’d I lose it again?

You are killing me
Keep calling me your friend

And it hurts, it hurts,
It hurts my dear.
Cause I tried, I tried to
keep you near.

I tried to keep you close

But it all just got away from me
We all lost out to misery
I have to wonder why
It always ends this way

I’ll pass you by on my way to see
And you’ll look at me despondently
Because I, I let you down

And they’ll all say their piece on me
Saying Oh she’s such a drama queen
But I, I never meant to let you down

And it hurts, it hurts,
It hurts my dear.
Cause I tried, I tried to
keep you near

I tried to keep you close

But it all just got away from me
We all lost out to misery
I have to wonder why
It always ends this way

I lost myself somewhere along the way
Trying to be perfect for you
I lost myself somewhere along the way
Trying to be someone new


And it hurts, it hurts
It hurts my dear
Cause I tried I tried to
keep you near

I tried to keep you close

And it hurts, it hurts
It hurts my dear
Cause I tried I tried to
keep you near

I tried to lock you down.

But it all just got away from me
I sealed myself to misery
Trying to be you

It hurts to put him first,
No matter the cost for you,
And to put yourself second
When you know he puts you there, too.

It hurts to come second,
Because he's your natural Number One,
But he's got a family who loves him-
And he's where you end up when you run.

It hurts because you'll never tell him that
Sometimes at night you flashback to crying alone,
In a room that doesn't feel like home,
And gluing yourself back together by morning.

It hurts because you're afraid
That what happened before will happen again,
That you'll need to be for someone else
What you yourself are still missing.

It hurts to come second,
And he never knew
How hard he'd have to try just
To keep from hurting you.

It hurts, and you'll probably never tell him
Because that's just not who you are,
And also because somewhere you know that
Who you're with is not the one who let you fall.

It hurts anyway.
It hurts coming second.
Write yourself some poetry,
Maybe learn a lesson:

Remember to be self- sufficient,
Because you're fragile and you're breakable;
And that that's your problem, not his,
And that as long as YOU have a choice-- choose him.

Remember that it's not so simple
When his Number Ones don't know you exist,
But what can you do, you feel like this
Because it hurts to come second.