"hamburglar" poems - Hello Poetry

So I've been thinking lately What if he's on a journey out to find himself reading Hemingway and Emerson (his namesake) and roughing it at Walden Pond smoking foreign cigars and staring deep into coffee to decipher the meaning of the swirls of smoke that rise from it in the morning? What if he's asking ChaCha! the meaning of life or trying out a new brand of shampoo or attempting to set a high score on Tetris or out burning down bridges just to see them ablaze or doing volunteer work, reading to disabled children at the local library? What if he's decided that this is all too much, that he'd prefer to live in anonymity trading his celebrity for secretarial work or carrot-harvesting or breeding exotic fish or renting out those inflatable jumping-castles? What if he's tired of all those books in Technicolor all the paparazzi out to get him and commercialize his favorite beanie just because he's on vacation because he pulled some strings at the office thus catapulting him into some movie set halfway across the world? What if he's sick and tired of them hunting down his girlfriend his dog that random wizard mentor guy that's a deadringer for Dumbledore? What if he would rather sit at home and watch the Game Show Network and change his name to something boring like John instead of living up to a thinker's expectations? Or maybe just the opposite, he's just watching Family Feud to pass the time because he WANTS to be a thinker but doesn't know how? Or maybe Family Feud just makes him lonely because he doesn't have a real family, just that evil guy with funny glasses and ****** hair and an awful Hamburglar taste in clothes? What if he's decided he's on the wrong path and needs to turn his life around? What if Waldo doesn't want to be found?

0

Dec 22, 2009

Dec 22, 2009 at 6:05 PM UTC

bailey-b

Namesake.

So I've been thinking lately What if he's on a journey out to find himself reading Hemingway and Emerson (his namesake) and roughing it at Walden Pond smoking foreign cigars and staring deep into coffee to decipher the meaning of the swirls of smoke that rise from it in the morning? What if he's asking ChaCha! the meaning of life or trying out a new brand of shampoo or attempting to set a high score on Tetris or out burning down bridges just to see them ablaze or doing volunteer work, reading to disabled children at the local library? What if he's decided that this is all too much, that he'd prefer to live in anonymity trading his celebrity for secretarial work or carrot-harvesting or breeding exotic fish or renting out those inflatable jumping-castles? What if he's tired of all those books in Technicolor all the paparazzi out to get him and commercialize his favorite beanie just because he's on vacation because he pulled some strings at the office thus catapulting him into some movie set halfway across the world? What if he's sick and tired of them hunting down his girlfriend his dog that random wizard mentor guy that's a deadringer for Dumbledore? What if he would rather sit at home and watch the Game Show Network and change his name to something boring like John instead of living up to a thinker's expectations? Or maybe just the opposite, he's just watching Family Feud to pass the time because he WANTS to be a thinker but doesn't know how? Or maybe Family Feud just makes him lonely because he doesn't have a real family, just that evil guy with funny glasses and ****** hair and an awful Hamburglar taste in clothes? What if he's decided he's on the wrong path and needs to turn his life around? What if Waldo doesn't want to be found?

39

I feel like Hamburglar, I went to the Burger Bar of gifts, like you did, hah hah! Yes, there's a Burger Bar of life, Who does get one with the lot? No strife, We all have gifts, I guess, A burger bar for life, no less!

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Jan 15, 2017

Jan 15, 2017 at 10:36 PM UTC

julie-grenness

BURGER BAR!

I feel like Hamburglar, I went to the Burger Bar of gifts, like you did, hah hah! Yes, there's a Burger Bar of life, Who does get one with the lot? No strife, We all have gifts, I guess, A burger bar for life, no less!

7

Ronald McDonald sold his business To his rival hungry jacks Got alot of money from them All his staff got the sack. He drove to the country And brought a nice farm With a big house Villas, animals and barns. Grimace was feeding the pigs Birdie is in a nest Hamburglar is chasing cows And being a ****** pest. Ronald came out with a whip And yelled at the striped fool Got his whip ready With a mouthful of drool. He then chased after Hamburglar And the ******** thought it was a game Making ****** like noises Skipping, and being insane. No more burgers for you Ronald yelled out loud I think You may have Mad Cows Disease And you are as high as a cloud. Grimace runs over And blocked Hamburglars way He smashes into Grimace Knocking him out for the rest of the day. When he woke up All his friends were there Hamburglar said, what the **** happened? Ronald replied, you were sick, and gave us a scare. But, don't worry now You have been cured from this disease So, can I ask you? To stop stealing my home made burgers please. Hamburglar agreed With his fingers crossed behind his back Thinking, **** off clown! Your burgers are better than Hungry Jacks!! Tommy K - 12/02/2014

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Feb 23, 2014

Feb 23, 2014 at 10:19 AM UTC

tommy-k

Ronald's Retirement

Ronald McDonald sold his business To his rival hungry jacks Got alot of money from them All his staff got the sack. He drove to the country And brought a nice farm With a big house Villas, animals and barns. Grimace was feeding the pigs Birdie is in a nest Hamburglar is chasing cows And being a ****** pest. Ronald came out with a whip And yelled at the striped fool Got his whip ready With a mouthful of drool. He then chased after Hamburglar And the ******** thought it was a game Making ****** like noises Skipping, and being insane. No more burgers for you Ronald yelled out loud I think You may have Mad Cows Disease And you are as high as a cloud. Grimace runs over And blocked Hamburglars way He smashes into Grimace Knocking him out for the rest of the day. When he woke up All his friends were there Hamburglar said, what the **** happened? Ronald replied, you were sick, and gave us a scare. But, don't worry now You have been cured from this disease So, can I ask you? To stop stealing my home made burgers please. Hamburglar agreed With his fingers crossed behind his back Thinking, **** off clown! Your burgers are better than Hungry Jacks!! Tommy K - 12/02/2014

41

I’ll be there with two or three people. I need one of those. I’m gonna go show it who's boss. Tell me you aren’t using that. It's just been that kind of day. Send me pictures. There's knowing you, then there's knowing you. I know where it is. I was close! That was dangerously close. Prepare for criticism. Oh, really? wow. I’m sad. You're right, I don’t like it. Was I supposed to learn anything? She smiles weird fuckin' smile hers is bigger than mine she's the hamburglar I’m not joking, she's really weird that's the *** calling the kettle black I don't look like the hamburglar Weird faces with her mouth, and they were like, 'stop making those faces, you're freaking me out'. don't make me *** Aren't you glad you have family? Well, that was a stupid question. I’m all covered in chocolate it's kinda like being in the freaky show Isn't that a great place to be? Well, I don't care about the signs. Have you seen the cow take a photo? Yeah, milk was like $8. Sweet mother of God. Things have definitely changed. Sorry girls. They're gonna fall off if I flick 'em. will you pay me $500? I remember when you used to say that about me. Don't make me go. He ended up with the hamburglar. ****** hamburglar.

0

Feb 28, 2012

Feb 28, 2012 at 3:04 PM UTC

charlotte-graham

Fuckin' Hamburglar

I’ll be there with two or three people. I need one of those. I’m gonna go show it who's boss. Tell me you aren’t using that. It's just been that kind of day. Send me pictures. There's knowing you, then there's knowing you. I know where it is. I was close! That was dangerously close. Prepare for criticism. Oh, really? wow. I’m sad. You're right, I don’t like it. Was I supposed to learn anything? She smiles weird fuckin' smile hers is bigger than mine she's the hamburglar I’m not joking, she's really weird that's the *** calling the kettle black I don't look like the hamburglar Weird faces with her mouth, and they were like, 'stop making those faces, you're freaking me out'. don't make me *** Aren't you glad you have family? Well, that was a stupid question. I’m all covered in chocolate it's kinda like being in the freaky show Isn't that a great place to be? Well, I don't care about the signs. Have you seen the cow take a photo? Yeah, milk was like $8. Sweet mother of God. Things have definitely changed. Sorry girls. They're gonna fall off if I flick 'em. will you pay me $500? I remember when you used to say that about me. Don't make me go. He ended up with the hamburglar. ****** hamburglar.

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