is caused by haloperidol
and we wonder
why wanderers
are told to contain
toxins in multitudes
strain
load-bearing
bones
of snapped
earths

we
cannot
hold the center
because there are 3 axes
and any frames of reverence
are references to the
404 types of unfreedom
each more cursed than the last

to know
to be
to
dobedoobedoo

thats comedic
for tragedy is only a farce
history & science only
unherstoric facts
slavery only the servitude invented to keep capital flowing
we
are not WD40
or cancer
but the bones of the air
the tides of the earth
and the oceans true spiral
is sand and mirth

The pressure in my Arms is hurting
I don’t know why oh no
I just feel this pressure
Maybe I am thinking of drinking
And being fought by the men
I hate that feeling it drives me insane
I just say I am a medicated fool
Who loves life really I do
Cool man eat my shorts
I don’t drink I don’t smoke
So why are my arms aching
I don’t deserve it, no
I believe in family life
I like partying but I hate getting too drunk
I like looking strong but I hate being fought by the men
I don’t want this pressure to strike my arms
Because I am a family person yeah
I like footy but not fighting the crowd
And I like cheering but not around people too loud
I just wanna be a medicated fool oh yeah
Yes yes yes yes that is me
I was ok when I was on melleril because it started me medicating right
Better on largactil and haloperidol because that calmed me down even more
I hated risperadal because I got crazy look ups from anxiety but largactil sort of was helping
I liked seroquel but I hyped me up
I liked eppelim because it was trying to calm me down
I like being on seroquel and haloperidol because it calms me down but
It brings back some of my bad thoughts from my drinking but I write the bad stuff out of me
I am cool I am not getting fought by the men
And I live my life right

I met a man.
He's Indian and older than me
On the first date his car kinda smelt like curry
it made me smile. I like curry
On the second date i slept with him
and after he came he told me he wished i was slim.

I met that man again
and we went for a long drive.
He said he was looking for a wife.
I was just looking to not feel so ******* alone.

when i met the man for the 4th time he commented on my shaking
he asked if I was on drugs and i had to explain.
i was.
lithum, eplium and haloperidol.
I almost cried and he held me close.

I now met this man most days he still wants me to loose weight and my whole family hates him for that. But they dont understand that my mind is finally calm when I lay in this arms.

He may be rude to me but I know he is just honest with me.
I am not wife material. He wants a family.
And I am so afraid I will drag him back through the dugeons and hospitals that I have seen since my digonisis.

this man keeps talking to me, he texts me and i drive him crazy.
He is mooder than me, but I kinda like that he is emotional too.

he had started pushing me away somedays, then others he wants me.

i have never met a man like him before.

     but he is better than anyone before.

I met a man. And he didnt make me loose my mind.
He made me find my heart.