i can remember your mouth across from me i was late it was 11:17 i said i was sorry you said your mouth was across from in a mexican restaurant 2 years later your mouth was in my mouth in Eugene in Eugene it was very hot in the middle of the summer the van was broken down and i loved you so much there wasn't anything to do but climb into each other's mouth the thick heatness of sweating palms and you are sitting across from me in a mexican restaurant your eyes your mouth your hair was short 1 year later i thought you should cut it shorter 1 year later in a hot pocket of some thick freakness your hands mouth eyes spit and got open so wide i climbed into your whole body was so beautiful tasting better and fighting all night than death i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry


(i loved you)

She feels such an ache that it takes every ounce in her to breathe.  
The ground opening up  for her from beneath.

Questioning the reason for her existence. How am I impacting the world around me?
What do I do that makes a difference?

She catches a glimpse of herself in a store window.
Seeing a girl, a woman, a wife, a mother
Is this what I'm meant to be?  
But who am I to disagree.

Realizing that she,  being herself, is a true hero.      
  
The ground closes, a bounce returns to her step as she continues her journey
Knowing that she and only she can decide her fate without having to be carried out on a gurney      
                
We are all beautiful in our own freakness Learn to revel in our uniqueness.

im always looking for ur secrets
always wonder at my freakness
freeakessential got no regrets
bits of me go offline deep web
dark lies matter beLieve my lies
we have no hope
and baseless faith to grip
my mind and silence me black
not what i live for if
it means enzyme energy
banks stored microchip sleeper cell
the critical tilting of her epidemic
let it fall into a terribleness
blind is she one is she
makes skies turn violent
when violence is the only way
if i may say
with my indifferent dismays
so long to remember the human race.

sensitivity, despair, weakness
timidity, internal terror, freakness
love, pain, philo Sophia, meekness

                        agonia
                don’t know whya

It must be a dream but I don't remember closing my eyes, it truely is a dream
I don't remember reality feeding me lies
If you crave a happy ending then clearly you haven't been paying attention
This must be the ally I heard about
Keep breathing which is hard when panic pushes oxygen into my lungs
This isn't my bed, its unfamiliar, there shoud be another way to explain it
A doorway but no door, should I call for help Wait I'm dreaming
Do you know what's going on?
Ignoring the freakness moving closing closest I feel the burn, I'm squessing my fits
I'm not looking to get saved, I'm grown
I'm a lady I should wake up and go ***.

i love you that you are like your body;
the hair between lips quick
with thighs around

folded

folding inside–to be

inside of folding lips
upon slick freakness
of dark soul

(the fragment of your mouth does
inescapably the totally arduous
fist of its bulb to spread comely
each instant of pulsing life
with brutal health    .                     )

i love and i wonder
(approximately)
half dead into your
muzzle the painful spurring
of my love root

;

and your neck reaches
,hurting, to your chin
with limbic sweat ;

i love it
and it is like your body
you are

the coiled foiling of death
to remind through immutable pressure
its constant grasp.


i love it
and that occasionally
i am the body

you like to be.