I want to watch
bruises bloom across my skin until
my body is an untouchable wilderness vast
and raging I
feel so powerful;
the seeds I sow spring
to life at an instant
red goose egg under flesh
hatching, spilling yolk,
purple yellow green.

I want to be
at the mercy of the sea
tossed effortlessly, crashed
against thorny rocks
in oscillation
over and over until I am
as lifeless and brittle as the foam on the shore I
feel so powerless but it's
liberating, no longer breathing, no longer here,
surrender, surrender to the tide

oh no.
my hand slipped.