The gracegel fixed a whisilpur stir
Of beamish walldows plenty glee
Lursting gentile sodjar words
To rise a slumgraven lad from slee

Wiss! Youshun beware of me!
Yelpsured this famil somber chord
For I tis sent from spirits upthee
To scrapple luscious souls earthwart
Whose frangled lives are of odd degree.

The lad’s eyes engrossed with squinty cheer
Permazed at this zartrous sight.
The gracegel behooved its transparent skin
Then wishbamboozled the rooms in a fandacisnt blight
And Together lad and gracegel consured the night

Word Meaning
Gracegel: a high and elite angel                                                                                  Whisilpur: silent, purring noise
Beamish:  concentrated light
Walldows: shadows on the wall
Lursting: quiet echoing whispers
Sodjar: important, necessary
Slumgraven: distraught, troubled
Slee: worried state that leaves people to stay awake before sleep
Youshun: you shouldn’t
Yelpsured: to make certain
Famil: inherently known
Upthee: refers to head gracegel
Earthwart: out of earth
Frangled: mix-matched
Permazed: perplexed and amazed
Zartrous: uncommon
Wishbamboozled: to spin something violently
Fandacisnt: magical
Consured: to fly without wings

Why do I even bother ?
Oh this is not a poem to sway you with romantic words, no infact i probably won’t share this with whom it belongs.
No more an apology, and reallity check for me!
Oh but that be said without malice for you!
Rather all I do is ***** things up!
Even though I’d try my heart to make sure to get it right with every intention to make your day!
I’d get it wrong I don’t even truly know where I went wrong!
But somehow hurt you i did!
Thats more painfully riviting ro my core far more than you pushing me away!
Many words come to mind from pathetic, useless, idiotic. Waste of human space, and many more, sad to describe anyone as this sadder realising this of oneself!
Should have got right the first time and save everyone the waste of time!
Have had to get my head around not doing anything they call stupid for so long, i honestly strugle to find a reason to carry on!  For what? Why?
And mostly cant say it would stupid, no be thei ly thing i can  think would make sense!
To hurt the one i love no matter what i do ill ***** it up!
Hurting you is an unbearable thought!
How could i live with myself?
Cant see how i can get rhrough that
Let alone this pain!
You mean so much to me!
Ive said is take a bullet for you! (Die for you)
But would rather live for you !
Now if you not there?
Cant see much hope at all !
No where! All rhe general reasons everyone would usually morivate you with, would hold so little weight!
This pain be out of this world i try but  cant expain this be of magnitudes earthquakes couldnt measure on the same scale!
And somehow i try find that reason in fear of hurting other loved ones!
Somehow i rather find hope!
Not the hope youd think though!
Oh no this is hope that my loved ones (famil)  will understand this pain and somehow forgive me for my intention be not to hurt  them, but to find ease finnaly!
Comfort knowing id be not the reson orhers will hurt tomorrow!
Yes dark and dismal thoughts!
Or are they?
Are they not in other ways considerate?
Oh oh i lean to think so..

(sonnet #MMMMMMMMCMXXXIV)


Cold, likeas ev'ry Winter knows to scale
Quite well, sifts through the hours where I'd fr'intents
Giv'n up on wearing knits and woolens, sense
Drowned in the heat of Summer whose detail
Has chased me nigh six months, til I'd bewail
And search for chill but find t'was mere pretense.
Now thet the heat's been off in sheer defense
For so long, boil up Ramen to avail.
Oh! How I see the snow beyond as t'were
These blinds, lying on the fields foresworn anew,
The chill which eats through aught famil'yar, poor
As freezing in October, where frost'd cue.
What am I seeking that this see-saw'd stir
But keen chagrin? Oh LORD, how I need You!

24Oct24