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SofiaBelhadj Oct 2018
I am collapsing
Thrashing
Shaking
Screaming.
In my mind.
It is the chokey
I am trapped
Trembling
Scared
Tear stained
Heart throbbing
Painfully.
A hand clasps my throat
I cannot breath
I’m blind in my terror
Words barely choke out
Help me
I’m rasping
Help me.
I look around
I have not collapsed
I am still standing
I feel as though I’ve been pulled
Back into reality.
Something that has been happening more frequently recently...
katie Jan 2014
To fill an empty mind
with an emptier stomach.
my brain does not belong to me
it belongs to the creatures who chain my mind
torture my freedom of thought
and cackle at my appetite in their chokey of secrets.
killing my mother friends and lover
with the secrets
they make me keep
locked inside my mind.
i want the smell and taste and texture and idea of food.
i do not want to eat
what i don't deserve.

the guilt sorrow and anger stirs my stew
or lies rumours and inevitable attention seeking.

"attention seeking"
what attention is worth this way?
no fame no fortune
not even beauty.
just disgust.
pure disgust on all parts.

I'm sorry i cause these fights.
I'm sorry you can't love me.
Its not your fault.
I'm sorry you have to look at me.
I'm sorry you see my thighs and stomach.
I'm sorry my broken mind won't let us be.
I'm sorry my lips are sealed.
I'm sorry I can't make you understand.

what could i have done in a past life
to deserve
this body
this mind?
I see that those bleeders have still got their beaks in
******* up the last of the wine,
about bleedin' time we got shot of them
put the flamin' lot of them
in the chokey
and
that'll do for me,

cast them all out into ***** and sod 'em
and
for good measure you can sod 'em again.

yeah
we'll have new Mayors yoked to the same old chain
telling us it'll be different but you know and I know
that it'll be more of the same,

I'd go fishin' but it's raining and I blame him
in Downing Street for that.

— The End —