I want but true affection
rather than that
produced by guilt

desperate to stay one
you succumb to old habits
and donate no reassurance

i doubt
in cycles
and I am at the top of the ferris wheel
i see the land
and not the man next to me

am I more than just a variety
of frozen food and prepared meals
and the occassional agressive "ive missed you"
exhaled between kisses

i am acustomed to your familiarity
and your soap scent
and harsh tongue
your lashes at my best men

but you are calming
but you are rough waves

i am tired of being brushed against the shore
i should be the ocean

I never really understood
Why you like coffee anyway
Having something so cold and bitter
To start your day

Or maybe it's just me
Acustomed to the customs of this world
A product of this day and age
And that why I couldn't see

A past so dark and dreary
Shown in your eyes cold and weary
Weak and beaten down
You fell away beneath the sound

To live again another day
In the quiet cliché of this café
Within the solitude of your own creation
You view the world through your imagination

That's why you would take a sip of bitterness
In this jaded and abstracted mind of yours
Now the only bridge to entity you'll let through
A gentle reminiscent of reality's grim kiss

IT SEEMS WITH YOU I AM ALWAYS SAD
I WRITE MI POEMS IN A HARDENED STATE
I FIGHT FOR SOMETHING YOU CLAIM REAL
BUT IS FAKE
I FIGHT FOR SOMETHING SO REAL TO MI
BUT ON YOUR PART IS FAKE

IT SEEMS LIKE WITH YOU ITS ALWAYS SOMETHING
I FIND MI SELF NO LONGER ATTRACTED
I FIND MI SELF SADENED BY YOUR BOGUS ACTIONS
AND WELL YOU DONT CARE
SO WHY SHOULD I ?
A CHEATER WILL ALWAYS BE A CHEATER
AND WELL YOU WANT MI TO BE CONVINCED OTHERWISE
YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED MI ONCE YES
BUT NO I AM NO LONGER BLIND
I NO LONGER SEEK TRUTH THROUGH YOUR EYES
I NO LONGER FEEL HURT FROM YOUR LIES

ITS TIME FOR MI TO GRAB MI HAPPINESS BACK
ITS TIME FOR MI TO BE THE PERSON I AM ACUSTOMED TO
AND I CANT CLEARLY BE THAT
TRYING TO WORK THIS OUT AND BEING WITH YOU
SO HERE'S MY FAIRWELL HERE'S MY PARDON