A baby’s laugh makes me smile
It always does
But this one was rather unsettling
Especially because
It was two o’clock in the morning
And I was home alone
The electricity was out
So why was there a ringing phone?
I pick it up and say hello
“You will die tonight” a voice growls and I quiver in fear
Because the phone is held up to the right side of my head
And the voice whispered into my left ear


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I dare you to read this poem
start to finish and ponder its words
allow it to linger there in your churning thoughts
and not let it flutter off with the wind and the birds
I dare you to write a response
a poem from you to me
to answer the questions a pose in this poem
consider them carefully
Why is love so impossibly complex?
Why is time so quick to slip by?
Why do people change their mind
and curse and cheat and lie?
Why is the world so angry
Why do regrets ache so bad?
Why is it we must lose it all
before we know what we had?
Why do we get attached
and learn to care TOO much?
and yearn for unknown souls to intertwine
yet recoil at a stranger's touch?
Why do we fear so badly
emotion, love, and the risks we never take?
Why do we waste the chances we get
terrified of making a mistake?
I dare you, answer me these riddles
Humanity still struggles to figure out
for the non-existent answer
lies between reason and doubt.

In a word
I would describe
The way I see you
As beautiful

In one word
I would describe
The way I see me
As ugly

But then I realized
You're in my heart
So maybe my heart
Is beautiful

If my heart is beautiful
The am I beautiful?
Maybe I can be
If you love me too.

I looked up
Smiling like crazy
And I realized that maybe
I shouldn't write this
In the middle of math

I'm coming for you
Ten.
Quickening breath.
Nine.
Racing heart
Eight.
Creaky floor.
You can't hide, little lady
Seven.
Quiet whimper.
Six.
Silent gulp.
I like these games, my pretty
Five.
Shadowy figures.
Four.
Hear the whispers.
The thing is, I always win.
Three.
Closed eyes.
Two.
Heart in throat.
Found you.*
One.
Blood curdling scream.

I always considered myself
a little messed up.
I never meant to hurt anyone,
but it seems I have.
Myself and others,
drowning in my monstrosity.

I never wanted to be monster
but I've lost sight of my humanity.
The pain I cause is always regretted,
but never enough to satisfy.
Who is the monster and who is the man?
I am both and he who made me this way is too.

Like Icarus, we fly
too close to the sun
or too close to the sea.

The highs and the lows
The good and the bad
There is no in between.

Life is a game,
A game of extremes.
And we don't know how to win.

But you know what they say:
What goes up,
*must come down.

I feel like I'm staring down at myself.
Locked outside of my own mind.
Its almost painful to watch this poor boy stumbling over his words.
Like he's not used to the sound of his own voice.
And I want to help him, but I can't find my keys.