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Allyvia May 2018
This raw hunger
Only a product of youth?
Or from a deeper need.

A bone deep craving
A lack of protein.
Skin calling out in desperation
From the acrid thirst.

My hands want to hold and pull close
These teeth long to chew and swallow.
Allyvia May 2018
I eat the dirt from your grave
And find no nutrients
Taste not the salt of tears
Or gag on revulsion as I once did.

All that's left is the lack of taste.
Scrape the soil beneath my fingernails
and don't wish for it to be your skin.

The realization I am free.
From you and from myself
No longer choking on my thoughts.

Shrugged your shadow I clung to
let it fall to the floor
Felt myself smile and sigh.

A relief.
Allyvia May 2018
Is it just youth's trappings to want to possess?
I think not for look at the world
Humans strive to claim all
Land, money, originality

You are not a beast of burden
Or a woman to be owned
No, you are your own person.

but how I long to leave my mark on you
Easier to claim you with the violence of want
Versus the careful tenderness
that I cannot help but touch you with.
Allyvia May 2018
She had a mechanic’s eye when she saw his body
Dissembled it with a precision belonging to machinery
With the gentleness of handling brittle china.

Devouring his beauty like a Narcissus flower gulping down water.
Pinning him to the paper with a pen as soft as silk and just as sweet
For he had managed to capture her wandering heart’s eye for the moment.
Corralled it in with tight skin and chocolate brown eyes
Ink swirling all over his skin.

But too soon he was left grasping only at tiny wrists
And the pens that slipped from her fingers
As her unquenchable heart’s eye sought more.

More beauty, more thoughts, more answers
Then any could give
So he clenched her wrist in an attempt to keep her
But did so too hard
And it snapped like a twig
Reminding them both of her bird bones,
Wanting to fly and grounded by her flesh.

In turn she drew on him,
Meaningless things
Though the biting pen tip meant something
Her eyes never losing their affection
For the different look he had given her.

Two mechanical birds entwined by their wish to soar
He grounded by his nightmare mind
And she by whatever was convenient,
But neither lost the pleasant hunger for more
In all matters of things

Eventually filling each other up
With the happiness they strove to find and create
Two poets drinking from their shared cup of daydreams.
Allyvia May 2018
The last of the contractions
Are almost gone
And I can’t help but grin
Through the pain.

Many days I have labored
Sweating and straining
And now soon it will be finished
And I will be cleansed at last.

It is with a final push
That you slither into the doctor’s hands
And my god, what a beauty you are.

A miniature little girl
Squalling as you burn my hands like ice
When I cradle you close.

I give you your final words
Before I nestle you into your basket
And send you away to a different life.

You won’t ever love me
And I can accept this
For you burned me so long inside
That to be rid of you is a relief.

Let another love your iciness
I relinquish my claim to you as mother
Knowing you will always struggle because of it.

I am glad for this.

An eye for an eye sweet girl
And this only the first of many lessons
You will learn.
Allyvia May 2018
I wish I had the words, the skill to preserve your beauty
But like Cobb I can’t capture all your perfection and imperfections.
In this way creativity slips away just as all of you do.

There’s a lust to drink deep of the right angles of your face
To set behind glass the golden ratio of your waist.
Ice blue eyes dim to so many shades of deep brown.
Teeth and mouths so deserving of praise that won’t be heard.

Hands that are a marvel all their own
And freckles that should be followed like a map.
These weak letters that won’t ever carry the full weight
Of what all your loveliness does
Will sacrifice for the cause.
Allyvia May 2018
Imagined kisses

Pretend lashes that peek at one another

The lust turned to aggression

Wetness between the legs traded for blood between the teeth

Fending off the longing to melt into another

For tearing them apart instead

Keep safe heart and mind

Starving but a measured out system

So careful, so careful

It means nothing and everything

Mind and body there’s such disconnect

What the inner animal, baseless and crass, snarls and claws for

Defeated by the sword and chains bearing logic
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