I worry about goodbyes

Maybe too often that I cause them

I always wonder
When
    Why
        How
           Where

How I would be left behind in my own shadow realm
Embracing solitude
How cold my nights would be without your presence's warmth
And until when would I reminisce every memory we once shared

And what would I do if you never stopped me from leaving when I did was want you to

But in the end I wouldn't care

All there is to blame would be me, myself and I

Just when I think everything is falling into place,
I sit down in the quietness
and my mind starts to race
The bad thoughts start to come again,
how much longer until they win?
I lay in bed
and constantly think
        would I be better off dead?
But then I see the light of day
and I know that I'll eventually be okay

Missing blissful memories,
Cherished thoughts.
Memories in webs,
Tangled knots.
Binding grievances
Pave the way.
Unfettered thoughts
Have their own say.

Moments felt,
Moments understood.
Times are past,
Graveness its hood.
Calm seas rejoice
In silence.
Storms are but
Reasons to penance.

Regret hopes to
Unbind the will.
Will’s infant cry
To escape.
Bewilderment stares
With mouth agape.

Confusions unfold
In graves.
Souls depart
To hellish caves.
Brevity speaks
A thousand words.
Wilderness stands
On a million swords.

Confused and petrified.
Thoughts again
To guide.
A vicious circle
So unholy.
One committed
To every folly.