i feel this time to say i have a gift to disappear threw the elements of change this plac is filled with a beautiful painting the will make you hide away all the tears you couldn't cry that you held inside for to long. this day by day fight left just marks scares that make your personality broken with no point of showing a smile but faking a smile and ******* it up and facing the thing we hate to say reality. the water  fall heals the wounds with the scares of your own vanity or what you have to have the strength to speak out what you really want to feel. behind the water is a place to let the voodoo doctor take care of all your anger turning into what you needed to be strong every witch way this ******* ****** up society that will let you scream. you may be broken wounded scared but come with me ill show you this place of mine the water fall of the healing memories leaving just enough to fake a smile and go threw the day with out falling apart with out shutting down hiding deep inside you hoodie or mind.

you just want to let go out all your demons you have to fight the first thing ever day. your phone is vibrating you caller id is your ex GF who is psychotically crazy and will never under stand i will never pick up your ******* calls cause you just smoother me in your lies you spill all over social media ruining every one fun times to be alone to escape this ******* world. this time my life has been crazy all my ex's have tried to **** me. i wish i knew what could be free but every call made every text is unstoppable making you want to go on a rampage killing knocking destroying every thing in your path leaving nothing but a pile of glass and ashes behind. i have escaped reality drinking monster but what ever happened i don't remember why or where or what happened.

you text and voice mail you leave on my phone i will never understand why you will never let it go why i left you.

when will be it okay for me just to let out every thing that hits me all over my body leaving the words and every thing like a fishing net holding it all on me. i am stronger that i know i can show but don't know when to show you my Russian deep blue eyes leaving me out in the middle of a war zone with people just dying.
i really don't know how to tell you when my tears will start to flow when you make me lay on you lap.  i thought true love would n ever leave an impression on you.
you make my lay my head on your lap telling me every thing that went wrong will become true with no tears left to fall. you make my world turn upside down with no more fear or pain left to feel.

i speak with a light slalom tone with not threat nor fear. when i speak i only hear the heart of caring that will set free all the trap'd souls that have walked restlessly not able to feel free. when i talk my soft tone voice heals the broken  ****** ones. no one should fear me when theirs nothing to be angry  about. this world i have nothing to fear i am just hear for one reason that can pick up the fallen till i can run till the riots become less over run that will stop the death. i use my soft tone voice to heal to make my own statements known to the public. you can take my and ruin my life.  i'm not a threat to public life i'm more a raid of normal people and society itself. i now that my down fall will destroy every thing comes crashing down with no survivors even allowed to escape. my down fall will be like a nuclear melt down. nothing in my path will  be left. my soft tone voice will leave a mark on this world before i will let go and fall releasing every thing losing what the point of trying on reality. i may be broken destroyed hurt life less even soul less but i will never let go till i make my mark and impression on society even tho i'm scared as hell to be with big crowds  and people normal people scare me when i don't trust what things will happen to me in the end .

This world i have grown up in my own battles that only leave my anger behind burning down my destruction of ashes. my mind is always is searching for new things and many answer's that i wont to finish the quest. i don't follow society's rules when i am stronger that this world that i face every day. my eyes only see what hell is even left in flames. i'm to crazy to care enough to understand your ways. i feel like a relations ships are nothing to me. I don't thing i could breath every time i make my hellish ways to be tricked into dating or wasting my mind on day dreams that will never become real i truly believe. The good looks  you try to show make my mind relapse of trap'd mixed minds just like this world filled with nothing except your own pain you will have to endure on the next  ride when you take my hand. Life is short but i'm still alive. i'm my own crazy psychotic self all over my time every one. every rose i have picked all the blood that *****'s my hands bleeding all over just like when you stab'd me in the back at night with your own white rose making it match with my  ****** red rose that screams out its ****** covered beauty. in the lake house with the sun roofs i see the pretty crimson red i remember seeing you that day i lost you to suicide. my own hellish ways make me me i refuse to follow the crowd but i rather revert and make my ground dis all the rules society has played to me like my own ways i will never let go my ways expect when you have the power or the guts to stop me down my road of of ripping out this world leaving every thing in a pile of glass and ashes.

I will no regret my hellish ways that's my nature even being Russian i'm just me a really insane mental cray person ill never change who i really am.

Not now not ever

I see my self in the meioir but i see just a dark image that looks like lies to the human eye. this is life with no way to even want to try. that final day i will let lose my broke memories. i have no point that love is real. love is just a stupid pathetic notion every body said to me. i have been broken but when i see you all this ******* will bring me up and then throw me down hard till i grow my  own weakness. i have nothing nice to say but when i find away just run never stop ever look back behind your back. your own childesh games have made me dead in side.  on the out side i have a fake smile but in me i will find you track every move you make planing to take back my soul that was torn apart from me. this time its my dead souls who will get revenge on your sorry all you scream

no were to escape only taking on bullets and heavy artillery that explodes killing every one in it's path. no one wants to feel scared but there is a truth to war no one escape only blood shed will stain the white cloth you try saving your best friend who was shot hit all over with fragments of metal making the truth more fear full. theirs nothing such of a war that won't leave bodies piling up. except the cold war that had a tactical scare but not blood shed.  the eye of the heart will say we all break our rules even if our identity's
break that we create to hide  our true self's making it harder and harder to be detected from your really self.. it is clever when the truth of war becomes the truth of your death that will rain on your planes.  i know the to things about war the casualties then your mind making you lose your self then going in a steep slow way threw your own crazy insanity. there's nothing good that you think war is all cool your death will drag you down till your lose it. i'm not scared or feel fear bullets will fly but i know the secret planes how to stay alive .