I spoke to you today
and i don't feel okay about it
cause i talk to you this way
& my brain freezes the thought of shouting
you don't deserve the pain
it's enough for me to plow through doubting
I fight the right to go insane
& my heart can't take the way we're sounding

I feel unleashed
like an animal
ready to sink my teeth
instinctively tearing your meat
& my eyes
focused only on the prize
exposed  b o n e s
and my nose runs with your blood
drowning my decency
cause
s e c r e t l y
the  frequency of your scream
clearly releases me
this sequence of release
greedily pleases me
i'm licking you clean
thinking how
eating never came so easily

I'm straddling the fence
but at least i have some choices
see
if i fall on either side
i'll still be making noise
wondering
which side might destroy me
this side has some grass
i think i'll start exploring
I start losing my grasp
I think I've started thinking
a little bit too much
I hop over the left side
and land face first in mud

Paul,
   Paul
you plucked those two strings
and **** near took
me to my knees.
Knocked the breath
right out of me.

r ~ 5/9/14

The Black Guitar

Clearing out ten years from a wardrobe
I opened its lid and saw Joe
written twice in its dust, in a child's hand,
then a squiggled seagull or two.

                                                    Joe, Joe

a man's tears are worth nothing,
but a child's name in the dust, or in the sand
of a darkening beach, that's a life's work.

I touched two strings, to hear how much
two lives can slip out of tune

                                                then I left it,
brought down the night on it, for fear, Joe
of hearing your unbroken voice, or the sea
if I played it.

The Black Guitar, Paul Henry

I've constantly been floating
my body is a boat
& i can't see which way i'm going
no one wants to climb inside
these lonely oars
they aren't rowing
but these waves
pull me away
from the shores
i call my home
the water's cold
and without knowing
there's a hole
inside my sole
there's a flood inside my stowage
and i'm sinking rather slowly
I know not of where i'll go
now that i am no longer floating
at least i know
that fish have hope
for boats with holes
to build a home in

Intuition of a witch
Is not one for weak bones
You see our glitches make you twitch
It's now our bones you call home
I see everything
And anything
You're trying to explore
You're walking through a tunnel
and suddenly see a door
Twisting at its ****
Has you stopping in your tracks
You see now how I've got you
Turned from your own path?
We witches get these itches
That turn our chests to metal
That we specifically build into cages
for hearts to sleep and settle

I relax
with nature
every single night;
I feel her in
the warm wind
sweeping over
my body.
              And in the mornings,
           she shows
     her face
     in my
     cups
   of
coffee.

aesthetics are pathetic
what's in our minds
deserves the credit

You said I love you.
I say I love you more.
But love is a prime number,
and zero squared is still zero.

r ~ 5/10/14