I've imagined
forever. always
under your veil.

Eternity somewhat
similar to you.
always.

And now. after you.
I have stopped.
talking about them.

       -(forever. a myth)

Don't try to shorten yourself.
to fit into a ***. to bloom.
Maybe fate wants you to grow as a tree.

Memories. yours, mine.
Sweet, sour & bitter one.
Often collide. inside.
Too many to carry.

Some are most beautiful.
Some are little less.
Important and unimportant.
Few reside at heart. few in mind.

Dear, I often think. to bestow
My memories. to waves.
They go and come back. always.
They'll also bring back memories.

Each time I need to feel them.
Each time you need to feel them.
Or each time when our fragrance.
will be fading out of us.

You can wait at any shore. anytime.
or with me. you're always welcome.
In case, your memories are flying away.
See, I still care about you. I always do.

Bloomed a little, in spring.
Struggled, amidst series of autumn.
Frost of winter, annihilated.
Summer burned, less this time.
Healed, in monsoon rain.

So many nights, turned into morning.
And dawn into dusk. So many times,
The sun overshadowed the moon.
The wind changed its direction.
Season after season, passed by.

I am waiting. And waiting.
And waiting. to bloom
And for you my dear
Be my gardener. Once
And...

I'll bloom. someday.
Will you irrigate me. forever ?

I know. now I want to feel.
Your blues. reds.
Your darks.
also the brightest hues
even the crimson sky.
above you.

But you never painted me.
with your colours.
How colourless I am.

I see. now I want to visit.
Your highs. lows.
Your depth.
also the shallows.
even the lowest point.
inside you.

But you never explored me.
The takes. Turns.
Of this ****** life and soul.
How worthy I am.
How able I am!

And once you get
homeless. It's fine
to remain same.

for seeking shelter
in you is easy and
less insecure.

building new home
is tough. with the fear
of being homeless.

your belongings stays
at the old one. for which
you look behind. always.

Scarred, wounded you.
Vulnerable now.
Impatient to glue.
the shattered fragments.

Time is always a factor.
Strong enough. to rule.
It's never a cure. But,
It's always needed for cure.

You'll heal. someday.
Healing is a process.
It takes time.
There's no rush dear.

To John...

Effused from an imagination.
Amorphic, vast as cosmos.
Invisible. not only for my heart.
You were around. always. everywhere.

Creation of a tender mind
a 10 or 12 years old innocent.
Living in solitude. unknown to its meaning.
also distant from the people around.

Trying to look for a friend
When everything was fading soon.
He himself added colours to it.
Painted you on his canvas.

From games to secrets unspoken.
From talking to shouting loud.
From fighting to re uniting.
Hadn't he found a perfect friend in you ?

You had cleared the crimson sky above.
Took all his blues away
mixed his blues. to the endless skies.
No wonder why sky became so bright then.

You were the beautiful bud.
that bloomed in autumn
to blossom round the year then.
and to add fragrance. to his life.

Hadn't you dissolved his wounds ?
Sipped it, gulped it. made it disappear.

Do you still remember days of yore ?
Or you've let them fade away ?
Though he hadn't let you fade away yet.
He's just stuck into things while growing up.

When at nights, he gazed the moon
remember how he used to take you
with him. for he was afraid of dark.
(Though he's still afraid of dark. one inside him)

And you remember how he
Often made you fool.
Saying that he knows language of moon.
And can make you learn the same.

He used to rant too much then.
And imagines you're listening to him.
It was so satisfying then.
Neither you complained nor he bothered about it.

You know, the diary he used to write.
In which he had written all the letters to you.
He threw it somewhere. In the river he still visit.
It's the only regret, which is holding him.

It's all written just to tell.
You still reside in his memories.
When everything else around turned rare
He bring out time to cherish moment. He care.

It's just a time game dear. don't worry.
Don't you feel He still miss you ? He do.

  
              From your only friend..
            (Sending you some memories wrapped up in love)

lets do a thing.
i lock everything
i have for you. in
a cupboard. and

you also find and
keep things there,
only if you have any.

lets rewind the
clock. take it to
few months back.

little you become
stranger to me.
little i try to be
stranger to you.

little I'll cover
distance for you.
little you'll cover
for yourself only.

Even the last glint. visible to me
has escaped into the dark. far away.
And the only silhouette of the silver light,
i was holding. around the darkest corner
has vanished suddenly. somewhere deep.
leaving no sign of it for me. to trace it.

The cold winds have changed their direction.
to annihilate the already wounded me.
My vulnerabilities are at the peak today.
But the winds come close  and caress me.
Instead of hurting deep. Oh ! I know the winds.
Today. even they pity me. and my helplessness.

"Bright. beautiful. comprising all the hues.
Blooming beyond seasons. round the clock.
Irrigating me somehow. making me bloom.
The only flower. i was loving from distance.
has now a bee to sing songs around it.
To taste its nectar. no less than an elixir."

I'm cold. numb. with restlessness around.
My eyes should shed tears. unceasingly.
But there's nothing left inside. all parched.
They're staring at the sky. the night sky.
for it may catch. at least the tail of hope there.
moving around. under the veil of darkness.

Pale. squeezed. much gloomy today.
I can see the moon with cracks. tonight.
Gazing me from the distance. with no blink.
I can feel tears rolling down from it.
The stars have also dimmed their light today.
All mourning for me. shattering down around.

The Spring is going out of my palms.
and the Autumn is no more carrying beauty.
Rain drops no more heals. instead ****** me.
I no more able to see summer sun melting against her light.
The winter frost has already captured my heart.
The seasons have changed in a while. suddenly.

The feeling are scratching my heart deep.
The memories are making it heavy enough.
And I wish to pull this pumping object out.
Hurt is something certain to happen.
All I can try is to lessen it. I did. failed.
I loved her and thought. she would do the same.

I have left some scars.
Opened, unhealed.
The bruises still exist.
It hurts. sometimes.

It's passage to my soul.
You know, it's for you.
In case you fail, to feel
my soul. deep enough.

You may see through.
the wounds. to my soul.
Naked. untouched. unknown.
waiting for someone(you) to feel it.

The flowers in my room.
are drying out. a petal at a time.
Like they are counting days.
For someone's (your) arrival.
Or when they'll dry out. completely.
I wish if you could touch them ones.
and make them bloom. again.

It's always tough to see hope crashing.
And things taking final breath.
I've decided. I'll replace them.
The drying out flowers. with paper one.

You comprise all the seasons within.
Bloom. anytime you want to.

sometimes, striving
makes more sense
instead of slipping
into deep slumber.
sometimes, giving
up of few things.
letting go few people.
makes more sense
rather than holding
onto them. and
bestowing forever
scars to your own soul.

Unknowingness, turmoil.
Conundrum around.
Wrapped up in dilemmas.
Sinking. into mess all over.

Urge to know all happenings
Struggle to unwind each loop.
Choosing and then falling,
into pit. one at a time.

Tiring yourself. Again.
And again. And again.
With futile efforts dear.
Fruitlessly, knocking doors.

All these are not important...

It's okay to not know.
You're not here.
To know each **** thing.
Let the things happen.
Let the stones be unturned.
It's good to taste,
the dilemmas. sometimes.

Be like the raindrops.
For they fall again n again.
Hundreds of time.
and each time they fall
They evaporate and rise up.
Until the clouds take them,
to their destination.
They never opt to settle for less.
being hopeless.

My words somehow manage to
wrap themselves in your essence.
I no more wonder why they seem
so beautiful to me. always.

We seldom call Autumn
beautiful. or never.
Because things worn out
and even blossoms fall down.
There's dryness all over. right ?
What if the Autumn is in love with soil.
and to heal its wounds,
Autumn puts flowers on it.
There's dryness all around
for autumn mourns on
the dead part of soil.
It's not always about beauty.
It's about feelings. sometimes.

You were the raindrop, I failed to hold.
and had only felt you, each time you landed.
and brushed thy lips. on my wounded soul.
You were that elixir i wanted to taste
and not that bane, which everyone refuses.

There are strings
around me. I'm
tangled in.

Choking me. tight.
at times. loose.
Less raveled.

Nor i want to
cut them away.
into pieces.

Neither I want
them to set me
free. forever.

         - stuck in between.

I fail
I fail and
I fail to sail.
I travel or wander
less these days.
for the way places
move around my eyes.

Similarly, memories
go round and round,
around my mind.
As if it's some movie
running inside. mind

I find my heart
harboured at yours.
too tight to move.
I travel or wander.
less these days.

              -travel

I won't let the air, the storm
enter amidst us.
It's better to suffocate. being in your love.
Than to breathe in air. unloved.

If you can't be my love,
Be the wave to my shore.
It always comes back.
Once in a while, definitely.

                   -be my wave.

Without you each season feels like Autumn. to me.
With you even Autumn turns into Spring.

                (Seasons you make me feel)

By the time
I've read you.
completely
and gave you
my whole.

It was only
night. all over.
and you were
not there. then

       - you (a shadow)

There are days
when i pick up
the shattered
memories. yours

And then again
there are days
when i pick up
my pieces. broken.

And at times,
I just let things go.
For holding things
less real. hurts.

I turn to the
fate and destiny.
blaming them and
naming them.

I'm in pieces
I'll be in pieces.
You fix me a little.
Little, I'll do myself. Just stay.
I'm blooming.
Dear, you are my only spring.

When they fail to feel the inside of you.
They try to break you. to see what lies within.

If you have never existed,
Would my words become orphans?

Storms of turmoil around
and shackles on brain.
Let me learn you.
Little more today.
For I'm wordless. again.

Drenched, less arid now.
But, more achromic.
Let me borrow your hues.
All the shades at once.
For I'm faded too. today.

...i had made you,
my home. and
I would've stayed
even at the most
deserted part.
least visited one.
Would've irrigated it.
made it bloom.

I visit the moon
each night.
Also, the moonless
nights. sometimes.

What if the night
feels jealous.
and leave moon.
homeless. forever.

We care for
the one. We love.
and the one
we are loved by.

If only we can freeze the time.
for a lifetime. Or
If we can make it move so fast.
that a lifetime passes. in a blink only.

To survive
the aridness of
separation, in future.

My pals, I'm irrigating
my present with
thy companionship.

I fear a little. always.
when I feel silence,
amidst city cry, long
traffic jams, in a
crowded market or
in any party with friends.

I fear a little. always.
When I find chaos.
around me. inside out.
near a river bank or
In a park all alone.
Or during a walk
on a  long empty road.

I fear a little. always.
When I find myself,
thinking about others
being alone. or thinking
about myself. only.
amidst other around.

I fear a little. always.
when I find everything
monochromatic. around.
Amidts different shades,
on the soft green grass,
under vast blue sky. or
with flowers around.

Oh,  blowing zephyrs
heal me now,
fix my wounds.
for a series of
annihilating storms
are yet to come.

Dear dark, absorb me.
into your silence.
The light around,
no more heals.

I'll remain soft. always.
Even if you slay me. someday.

Many crushes flower.
still, it never loses its softness.

                   (be softer)

Blazing. Yet so selfless.
Be like the Sun.
How gracefully it sets.
For the Moon. To shine.
Also it bestow us.
The pleasant view of dusk.

I dry up. fall down.
Each Autumn.
Reach out to you.
To bloom you.
The coming Spring.

It's okay to be unknown.
You're not here
to know everything.
It's good to taste
dilemmas. sometimes.

My silence, haunts me. seldom
shelter me in your screams.
for they won't let me feel alone.

                     -your screams

Sometimes, I want to be lil selfish
and lend you. some of my pain.
To let you put an end to it.
The way I want to put an end. to yours,
dissolving all of them. to my words. verses.
You always vanish pain. with your smile.

My love
is not a fleeting numbness.
It's an eternal elixir to pain.

              - will heal you, forever.

Cacophony so loud.
some from past. age old.
some from rising storm.
deep into heart.

Emotions and feelings.
colliding. shouting so loud
struggles to come out.
tearing the heart. into pieces.

The midnight. less serene.
dreams are now nightmares.
I wish to run away.
for i no more bloom here.

The walls here. around
are no more mine.
I need you. to be my home
Swaddle me in thy arms.

Swaddle me in thy arms. tightly.
for this four walled thing. haunts.
it's no more like home.  
I feel homeless.

//homeless