Lately I have been so bitter,
Like the surprising taste of metallic blood in your mouth when you’re
Not even sure where you’re bleeding from.

It’s hard to imagine age,
If it is relative to wisdom,
Or if that is only a fable, too,
Just as so many things seem to be.

Every day I am expecting myself to look older
Or at least angrier

It is peculiar.

I am not unhappy; not even close.
Yet there is always something pulling at my coattails,
Telling me
“Keep looking –
Keep searching”

Lately I have been so bitter,
I have realized that those I seem to hate the most are
Those who are the most similar to myself.

Lately I have been wondering
What is it I am searching for?

I run from the fear of failing

Speaking bigger than the actions I take
The smile is a perfected performance
To hide from the situations thrown my way
Ditching the people with my future plans
To hide from the world’s unsure
It’s up to me to face the demons
The things that build up outside my wall
Diseases spread from inpatient complications
Killing confidence that allowed my mind to flow swiftly
Pushing away at the generosity of hearts
To run isn't the solution I need

I run from the fear of failing
Tears stream with words that I cannot say
I lose myself in the unpredicted reality
Ghosts of regret attach at the seems
I’m still not letting you in
Mars can burn and crash
Acceptation is an action
I feel the darkness drag me down
Smoke suffocation inflates my lungs

I’m leaving the world tonight
Grasping isn’t a concept I conceive
Left out in the forgotten cold
Running is a self inflicted blow
Breathing is a complicating gesture
Mixed liquids coarse down the curve of my neck
In the wake of my vanishing my heart spurts emotion
Eyes shut without demand
Running seemed so much easier then this
Before the candle flickers out
Companions flow by on clouds of mute
Belonging without inspiration
I can’t outrun memory

I slip into failure
Objects of desire stumble down the cliff of mercy
Sharp edges are in my future
Head hanging I fall
Meaningless everything seems when you're leaving

I run from the fear of failing
Speaking bigger than the actions I take
The smile is a perfected performance
To hide from the situations thrown my way

I don’t need you,
last time I checked,
there were two lungs
     in my thoracic cavity,
a heart that pumps fluid
     at 2.13 psig,
eyes that guide fingers
with forks to my mouth,
     and feet that parked me
     in front of the food
     in the first place…

…So I started popping
one of your lungs—with that fork—
so I could help you breath,
clamping arteries
and ventricles, poking out
an eye and cutting off
your feet, but
that’s a lot of work

breathing, pumping,
seeing and walking
for two.
You know what,
     I’m gonna go try the dip.

Free music staring at water to far away as it rains not now but it did
the dog is sleeping curled away from me the dog come to me it doesn't
oh peeling dandruff face plaster up the walls
my uncle is gone shopping for a gutter
the rain needs catching because before it was falling not now but it did
I don't live at my own place but I have my own room
its like school with no school
a job with no money what we do for love I eat chocolate
free chocolate with *** inside,
and walmart sold me underwear ten times too big but they gave me socks that fit
pray for me
I sell my car
pray for me
a treadmill too
the money buys a battery
the money buys all.
Its california living can't you tell the palm trees are too tall
I read a book I've read before
and the girls don't respond after sending me their response
oh girls stop playing with my heart its too strong to break so quick trying to tear open these old scars
just respond that you need me,
and I'll tell you, no.

Passion is luscious, wet and warm,
Admiring the curves of each others form.
Starts all hurried, urgent the fervor,
Grows to epic proportions and even further.
The rhythm is steady, like a metronome’s beat,
We marvel at the feeling, makes us complete.
It’s a flower, song, or meal to sustain us through life.
It tempers our tribulations; everyday strife.
Passion, for love, is sometimes mistaken,
When we find that it’s not, feeling forsaken.
A passion for life is just as rewarding,
Each step of the way our mind is recording.
Memories hold our life’s short passage,
Some go through them, teetering on cliff’s edge.
Some go out with a flash, some a flicker,
With passion for life, it seems to come quicker.
Thank heaven for passion; it’s truly a blessing,
Without it mankind would perish, about that; I’m not guessing.