When the darkness of night settles around me
and the silence of the dark grows louder
I find myself thinking,
dreaming,
clinging to the wisps of memories
escaping from behind closed eyes
glistening with an old lover's flame
Oh, how I long for those days
ghosts of lives past, reminding
finding,
hiding themselves in my present life
contently discontent in the twists and turns
to jump at me without a proper notice
your voice, hidden in songs of the past
soft and sweet, gently spoken upon
the ears of the hurting,
soothing,
removing the present stresses of the day
Your face, dancing upon my eyes
eyes of the mentally broken, forcing them closed
Healing the mind, if only temporarily mending,
tending,
rending my best days pale in comparison
to the resounding beauty of your eyes alone
And yet, I write, hoping to find solace
away from the bitter taste of my present place
that your memory reminds me of, yet
your name, common as it may be, keeps reminding
rewinding,
unbinding the cords that contain that sliver
releasing a sudden rush of emotion that is uncontrollable
never knowing what to expect
a tear, a chuckle, a sigh
They torture me from the inside out
and yet I cherish every second of the pain
silently hoping it doesn't fade while praying
that the end comes quickly, if only to save face
To hate the feeling would be to hate everything
severing,
suffering the pains I'm not ready to face
of letting go of all the memories that hold you in
But to love these feelings, would be to hate where I am now
This present life, this reality with her
In comparison to others, there's no comparing,
relating,
relenting her image against the memory of your touch
I can't face these thoughts either
so I sit here, contorted in emotional pains
deciding how long I should listen to you today,
Beautiful angel, fair in face
wonderful by thy name, sing me your grace

She’s the daughter I never had,
All grown now, I am not her Dad.
All her childhood, I did not see
And yet, somehow, she seems like me.

She’s the daughter I never knew,
Only close to her a time or two.
Of my influence she's completely free,
And yet, somehow, she thinks like me.

But now I have a fleeting gift,
Of time with her to fill the rift.
Paths long parted finally blend,
I believe that she is now my friend.

Even if we had never met,
Her path to success has long been set.
She needs nothing that I have to give,
To live the life she is going to live.

And so, although I’ll never be a Dad,
I hope to provide what she has not had,
Shade underneath my family tree,
And a chance to know someone like me.

I must feed these demons that tear at my soul
For they hunger and thirst for my death
An offering of sorts, to appease and console
For they're lusting to covet my breath

The skin on my wrists begin to sigh
As the blade tries to comfort my veins
The death angel waits, he slowly draws nigh
Only a prayer for forgiveness remains

The demons rejoice in lieu of their prize
I can feel their claws holding tight
The darkness replaces the light in my eyes
I move farther away from the light

The floor turning crimson, the demons now drink
They grow drunk on this nectar of life
Death growing closer, he stands at the brink
And licks at the blood on my knife

The demons devour my last will to live
And mercy fades away like a mist
I gave them a gift that no man should give
Though I probably won't even be missed

She had on Hello Kitty *******
That I discarded to the floor
I could have removed them romantically
But she was just a *****.

She had smaller **** than I expected
When I received referral from a friend
But her waist I could grab onto
And oh how she could bend.

I thought I might break her
With every ****** of my hips
But every single moan
Cried more from her lips.

And when the night was over
With my final blow
She let me explode inside
Further announcing that she's a **.

It wasn't until a few years later
When I saw her once more
That she had with her a child
Once that I'd never seen before.

And given by his looks
His hair color and eyes
That I knew he was mine
Especially with the sound of her sighs.

She told me she tried to tell me
But I was too strung out
So she never tried again
Figured it'd be forgotten about.

And she was right
I would have never known
Until I called her up for another ****
Only to have my mind blown.

So what do I do now?
I guess it doesn't matter
I'm simply just a ******
My life is all ready a tatter.

I don't need a child
I don't need her, as well
I only need that needle
So I guess I'm going to hell.