Wandered and true, sometimes the world may not have a clue.

somethings can't be missed but the thoughts of you are never dismissed..

overthinking, and constantly dreaming, of the day your 'bad' thoughts go at bay.
wandered and true, sometimes the world doesn't have a clue...
dismissed at sea, sometimes you cant even see, as the waters come over your head, all you do is drown in the thoughts you're left with
somber, and at ease.. you may never feel like you can please...

within the shadows of all your deepest 'hallows'... needing the thoughts of a great embrace to make you stay, in the remarkably shattered truth that the thoughts of you have been true, truly dimmed, sometimes i feel condemned.
loving you is like falling into a black hole , everything on repeat, nothing is ever 'neat'...
we had a falling out, all we did was scream and shout...
overthinking... constantly dreaming, of the day your 'bad' thoughts go at bay..... wandered and true , sometimes the world ,may never have a clue,  
somethings can't be missed but the thoughts of you are never dismissed..

mindless mayhem, distraught thoughts... nothing more, nothing less.. nothing seemingly makes sense... lost at bay as your mind cluttered with such severe thunder.. emotions going blank.. wondering why, processing the misconception of our minds as we sit and think ... trying not to sink .. in a darker place than ourselves.. wanting an escape from this place we call home.. not knowing what to say but just wanting someone to stay, as you cry and pry away from the thinking as you drain away from misleading structures of our  mindless and faded reality...

Tainted youth, mourningful bliss... why does life have to be like this... fighting to fight ... fighting just to fall ... down ... down down ; I go ... meaningful meanings... wonderful delightful beings .. not knowing what I know now and feeling so down ... why must I feel played like a fool ... don't sit and clown.... don't toy with my emotions all it did was make such a commotion ... why speak if all my words are being muffled like I'm not being heard or given the chance to be seen... like I'm the blind eye in everyone else's mind ... like I'm being left behind ... all to just remind me of why ... and why everything happens for a reason, why things happen without treason.... why stumble ... when you fall, you get back up and all you have is a scraped knee but you  over see what can't be seen... to hear or not be heard ... to feel or to not feel at all... but when I fall , I fall hard to the point of not wanting to get back up... just lay there and signal help... when you feel as if you don't need it , but your silent screams and your faceless emotions say otherwise.... fragile to struggle saddened by youth ... why are we all tainted by our decisions if all we do is lose ...

Don't you hate it when you constantly tear yourself down, more and more each day; but there's nothing you do or say, nothing but radio silence.. as our minds are at peak, trying to create a better image for our eyes to see; and for our hearts and souls to love..needing Some way to put our minds at ease; something that makes us feel like we're in our own little escape.. something that isn't a misconception of our minds, that isn't a worded mishap of failure.. something or someone that helps build us up, not tear us down.. sometimes it's the vibration of music that we play so loudly to drown out our thoughts... or it may be watching t.v or hanging out with friends to distract ourselves from feeling.. tricking us into thinking we're okay.. when we're clearly not.. sometimes we sleep to avoid pain and that sickening pit in your stomach when we wake up.. sometimes we just stare blankly .. as if we weren't there .. and we just sit and we think.. we feel numb.. so numb..and in that moment you feel "fine" and at that moment.. your mind tricks you and you feel "okay" once more.. and it's a repetitive cycle.. day in and day out.. you think.. you worry.. you cry.. and you're in pain, emotionally torn.. just to find out later that you want to feel " okay " so badly that you ignore everything and everyone around you.. open your eyes and realize what is and what isn't real..who is there for you and who is not.. who is willing to do anything in their power to make sure you're okay at the end of the day..Notice the little things.