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She came into this world
By accident.
Never planned,
But her parents
Didn’t regret a thing.

She grew up with
Her hands stretched out,
Hungry for knowledge
And taking in
Everything she
Could reach.

She was only 9 years old,
When she saw both her parents
Screaming at each other.
She didn’t understand,
“Why are mummy and
Daddy fighting?”
She asked as tears
Started to fall from
Her eyes to her
Delicate skin.
Her parents sighed as
They knew it wasn’t
Working out.
Things were crashing down.

She was only 10 years old
When her daddy left her.
As he carried his bags
Out the door,
She cried,
“Where are you going, daddy?”
He left, without a word.

She grew up,
Without love.
She grew up,
Believing  that
Love is the problem.

She never trusted love.
She never wanted love.
She never needed love.

She was only 13
When she took
Her first puff
Of cigarette.
She was hoping
That her misery
Would fade away,
Just like the smoke.

She was only 15
When she was suicidal.
Nobody knew about
Her struggles.
Nobody knew
She cried herself
To sleep, wishing everything
Was different and simple.
Her wrist was like
Her own canvas,
Covered with scars,
New and old.

She was drowning,
In her miseries.
All she wanted
Was someone to save her,
Or least teach her
How to swim,
But no one did.

She was drowning,
As she watched
People around her
Minding their own lives.

Till this day,
She’s still
Drowning,
Still
Struggling.

And no one
Cares enough
To save her.
 Oct 2013 Unrequited Love
R
i thought i could handle
not being yours but when
trying to describe why i
feel the way i do i just
completley breakdown.

i tried describing your eyes
to someone who has never had the
beautiful chance to be in your vicinity and
i could barely get through to the
part of where i compare thy
eyes to an ocean after a
strong storm.

what should i do?
its easier now to be around you but
should i even try?
you've picked me up and brought out my
wings but can i really fly?

oh dear, please tell me because
i'll drown without you here.
im drowning in the ocean that is
you and im not sure if i should
cry out in fear.

maybe im better off in a
kiddie pool.

****.
I died on a Sunday
A day of blessings,
peace. Eternal sleep
was interrupted by medicine.

It happens

When I woke,
I was surrounded by strange people
White suits and blue masks.
Needles in my arms
Sensors on my chest.

That must have done wonders for your anxiety

My...heart...simply...stopped.

As if it no longer wished to fill the pain
of a life half lived. Loves almost won

You can't "win" love

Fights never finished. Things never said.

What did you do?

I quit my job. I told the woman that I like
my feelings for her. Changed Apartments.

What did you really do?

I began living.

Freely

Then next time I die. I will not have regrets.
Yea... I really died a couple weeks ago. Had an anxiety attack so severe my heart stopped. It's funny how death can change your whole perspective on life.

© September 27th, 2013 by Timothy Brown. All rights reserved.

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