We've become cliché,
And not just one,
But a multitude.
The forbidden romance.
The older man.
The late night phone calls.
The cigarettes after ***.
The hopeless romantics.
The songs we sing to each other.
The late night drives to nowhere.
The fling that never ends.
We've become cliché.
And I couldn't be happier.

You think I'll be like you
You believe that I'll fall like you did
Well, You're wrong
I'll never be you
I'll never waste myself as you have

All those times you thought you helped
You were wrong
I clean up after you
I do damage control
You're only in my way

i might fall flat out on the pavement
or i might fall head over heels in love with the idea of love

but i've so much to learn
and so much to feel

and i'm both eager and terrified

there was beauty, love, fire, stillness, and i gave it all to you
you put both of your hands around my neck
had a grip on me like your favorite coffee mug
mouths never moved, just trembled

when you went home, your "i love you" started sounding like an apology
now every car crash sounds like the last time i heard you say my name

i will be
    M o ving in the Street of her

    bodyfee 1 inga ro undMe the traffic of
    lovely;muscles-sinke x p i r i n    g S
            uddeni
    Y         totouch
                             the curvedship of
                                                         Her-
    ….kiss      her:hands
                                    will play on,mE as
    dea d tunes OR s-crap p-y lea Ves flut te rin g
    from Hideous trees or

         Maybe Mandolins
                                      1 oo k-
         pigeons fly ingand

    whee(:are,SpRiN,k,LiNg an in-stant with sunLight
    then)!-
    ing all go BlacK wh-eel-ing

    oh
        ver
              mYveRylitTle

    street
    where
    you will come,

                             at twi li ght
    s(oon & there’s
    a             m oo
)n.

I think of you as a model
and I a painter I am not.
For you, my love,
carry stillness
I only wonder at.

I paint you naked on our bed,
imagine how I’d take this line of thigh,
that curve of breast, those dark shadows
of the lower back, a perfect ear,
a curl of hair, all and more
and because, and only when . . .

And after, then
we sit together
formally, at a concert:
there you are
all dressed in stillness.
Motionless your skirt
falls across a quiet knee
to a booted leg, you so rich
in graciousness and charm
that only the flow of a woman’s
costume holds for the painter’s eye.
Oh, and that warm confidence
born of a body, loved, admired,
always wondered at;
but whose senses so alive
to  syllables’ speech,
to movements’ play.

Therefore with my restless hand
I, for whom stillness is a foreign land,
hold this pen and scratch this page
to write you into each and every phrase,
all and every word and line.

This grief
has teeth

my son
it bites through

skin and bone
tearing at heart

and mind
(the deeper

the love
the harder

the pain
I find)

this grief
with its pearly whites

gnaws at me
through dull days

and dark nights
trying to drag me

to dark depths
shaking me

like a dog with bone
bringing me

to deep hurts
and aching moan

this grief
holds hard

bites deep
taking me

to dark dawns
and black dogs

of sunset red
and echoing memories

in numb
and hurting head

this grief has teeth
my son

biting through
bone and skin

tearing me within
but memories remain

strong and clear
and bright

which will
sustain me

through many
a deep dark night.

Some days, most days
i could do without my head
cut it off before i drown
suffocation is a slow way to go
living in the vast oceans of what has pass'd
         wars fought, battles lost
         the history that once was
written out, Morse code in my mind
    thunderous sounds of sinking ships
dots & dashes deafening, it never ceases to exist
.... . .-.. .--. help, sinking fast
   i'll show you the frost that killed the posies
  it remains intact like the iceberg that sank the titanic
    it drips enough to drown the opposing stroke'rs
      spaces between the echoes of a soul saved
        breathless, pleading for air before the third time
          waiting patiently for my three dots & a dash...

Hey Anna. I went to Manna today for the first time since your memorial. I thought I was ready but I was very, very wrong. As soon as I walked in I was instantly hit with that sinking feeling of realization... I miss you so much. When the service was over and all the people began walking out, I started searching very frantically. I think I thought that somehow, If I looked hard enough, I would see the flare of your red hair in the crowd of people. I cried when I didn't see you there. I mean, I guess I knew that I wouldn't see you, but I was just hoping... anyway, I miss you so much. Nothing is the same without you. I thought it would get easier with time, but it's just gotten harder. I just wish we could trade places, I'd do it gladly. I have a bestfriend, Anna. You would've liked her a lot. Her name is Michelle and she reminds me a lot of you. She is a very good person. You'd be so proud of that fact that I actually found a friend worth keeping.. You know, when I found out about the accident, It was Wednesday, as soon as I got home from school. I just screamed, and screamed, and screamed... I texted you when I found out. I said that I would never, ever forget you, and that I would always love you. I wish it would've been me. It's not even a selfish thing. I don't want you back just for me, but for you. It's horrible that you don't get to experience life just as it was getting so much better for you. You deserve the world, Anna. And for other people, to think, you did SO MUCH for others. You would've changed the world, I just know it. But you changed me, and I've changed others, because you helped me become who I am today. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you! I get my drivers permit Friday! Isn't that awesome? You would've screamed and taken me to cold stone. I wouldn't want to eat in front of you, but you would've given me puppy dog eyes and I would've caved just like I always do. One time, I did something I really regret. My first thought was how disappointed you would've been, yet, at the same time, you would've been understanding. You would've told me to keep trying, and that it's going to get better. I know that when I landed myself in the hospital, you would've been the first one there. Heck, you probably would've even stayed the night with me and sing with me. Remember the last night I saw you alive? We laid down in your car and sang Neko Case. And then, when I was at my door, I ran back to give you another hug. I looked at you and said "Things are going to go so well for you. There is so much in store. I love you." I hugged you so, so, so tight. I just knew that I had to. Anna... I miss you. In every thunderstorm, I see you, and I remember how we use to watch the lightning. In every sunrise, and every time I go to the lake.. Remember the time I just sat and cried and cried and you held me in your arms? Remember when I told you my big secret, and it turned out that you had the same exact one? Remember when you read me your journal and cried? Remember when you saw some guy on the side of the road and honked because he had a beard? Do you remember me, Anna? I remember you. You are still real. You didn't leave. Every morning I wake up and expect a phone call, and every night I go to bed shattered because I didn't get it. Do you remember me, Anna? Do you miss me? How is it up there, is it everything you'd guessed? How are you, Anna? Are you doing well, because I'm not. I miss you. I miss you so much, Anna. I love you. ...
I need you. I miss you. It's selfish to want you, I know. I hope you're happy. I really, really, really hope you're doing well. I think about you every day. It's the thought of you that keeps me going... I love you, Anna.