there are 17 things that remind me of you
17 things that I hate to see
17 kisses that I'll never relive
but only one person that I still love
you clung to my mind
like the humid air against my skin

You cried to me
take me where the sea traces the sand
so I led you down the winding path
secluded, hypnotic, alluring
You closed your eyes
took a deep breath as if to physically take it all in
But you turned your back to the wonderland I cherished
This isn't what I seek you sighed in defeat

Show me the place where mountain tops reach the clouds
So I led you through the treacherous and gruelling terrain
You walked up to the edge and were mesmerized
Then you looked at me
You sighed yet again in defeat

My love I don't know what it is you long after
I've shown you the most glorious places I know

"But It's not what i must see
it's about what I must feel" you said to me

I didn't get it then
but now that you're gone
it all makes sense

i understood it all that night
for once i lyed awake feeling as if i held knowledge
then morning came
and my sense of confusion had peaked

if only you knew
the way i craved you
in the breaking of dawn
in all the minutes in a day
and in every second that you pass me by

as the sky cradles stars and galaxies afar,
my mind shelters my thoughts
the deep spontaneous ones that seem to hold a world of wonder
& the short lived bursts of hope
those frequent scenarios with that cute boy in my geometry class
a playback of the moments i try to block out
my attempts at trying my wrap the whole meaning of my everyday tasks around my mind
when i try to mock the narrative that is in your head,
It is then that I remind myself
my thoughts are like a screenplay
skipping from scene to scene
character to character
part 1 to part to part 3 & 4 and so on
this cinema, one that i get in for free
holds more entertainment than any before

In my heart
I truly thought these shadows would've faded
I thought they'd pass on by like a cold
slowly & with time to be its only cure

Now I realize
there is a thing called closure
which i should really get into the habit of
but that required making me face you again
& making me face you again made me forgive you
& making me forgive you made me forget of all faults
& making me forget of every fault of yours made me want you, again
& making me want you made you want me
& you wanting me made us officially a thing
though i loved the way i felt in your possession
snuggled close into your chest
I hated what you did to me
I hated what you said to me
I hated that it stopped, too

It gave me no reason to hate you
but more reason to adore you

the emptiness of her mind
of which she craved to find
left her absent for a day or two
hoping that she could reach you
you who would help her & save the day
you who were there that afternoon in may
in which you consumed her
leaving her to wonder
is love really a thing
or just a fling