Today I feel it’s weight again.
A month has passed
Many things have happened
But finally I managed to find my way

Back home.

I thought I’d learned how to deal with it
How to heal
From every wound that each departure creates
I thought I could react
I thought I was fine

I am fine, or at least I should be

You see, there’s someone waiting for me,
far from home
It shouldn’t bother me this much
Leaving I mean

I thought it had become easier
Quicker

But if I think about how long I won’t be back
About my friends here
Panic occurs.

It feels like far from home
Is just a projection
Not my true reality
Just something that happens between
The visits I make

And yet
I spend more time making those visits
Rather than living home

That’s how it works
That’s how it should be

I thought I understood
But turns out I didn’t
Because here I am crying
Thinking that another month has to pass
Before I’ll come back again.

I’d better start looking for the right way

Today I

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for you

a little bit more.

Those words were magic,
and giving them to me
has made me feel so

special.

That's all I wanted to say
that's actually all I can say since

if I think about it

This is the first time I've

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at all.

I still feel lost sometimes
even if it's just for short, even if after it I'm fine.
I steel get lost
and look around but see nothing except dark
I wonder
where was my last path?
So I cry and lay down,
waiting for the demons to pass by
waiting for the end of the deepest night.

Then I wake up and try to remember
where I came from?
was it from South, East, West or North?
My feet move before I find an answer,
I can't help it, but I know why:
I'm scared I'll get paralyzed otherwise.

So I keep walking,
I am still walking,
but I don't think I know where I'm going.

Perhaps, is this the reason why I still get lost?
Should I maybe simply stop?

You've got two stormy eyes
Like those I read in that book
Who would have thought
that I would have found them in you

I know it sounds cheesy
Nothing has even started
but the dizziness and the heat
and the accelerated heartbeat
Are something I can't ignore

For you, it might be nothing
I'm probably playing a movie
right inside my head
But those eyes, I promise
I don't know how to forget about them

I know you never read it
the book that contains your eyes
But it is one of my favorite
for it makes me believe in magic

It makes me feel special
It makes me believe in hope
It makes me look at the world and think
there's so much I have to explore

It makes me think about beauty
about innocence
about life
about friendship and love

it makes me feel alive.

I love feeling that way.

Many people don't realize it
they say it's just a book
but for me it's more
more than simple ink,
more than simple pages,
more than simple prose.

It's been a while since I held it in my hands,
since I looked into it
and felt powerful and brave

But when I see your stormy eyes,
and I swear this has been driving me insane,
I feel like I'm reading it once again.

I don’t know if this's poetry
Or just a simple thought
I just felt the need of pulling it into words

I watched some movies
Some talked about actions, some about music
Some talked about shootings
In short very different kinds
But they produced the same effect to my mind

They all made me think about love.
I wonder
If I’ll ever get lost
Will I find someone who will wait for 8 years
For me to come home?

Will there be someone for me
Who will keep loving me even after I stop being?

I want that love which makes you build your life
Which gives you strength
Even after you die
I want to be the strength of someone

I want to be home for someone

I want that kind of love

I think I deserve it
Am not going to accept anything less than this

Not only butterflies, not only moonwalks
Not only the fairytale
I want more
I want complicity, I want to feel safe
I want someone who thinks I’m his best
Even if I’m not, even if he’s more than me
I want to feel that special to someone
I just hope I’ll be.

Sometimes I think about death
Not because I’m not happy with my existence
I love my life and all of its systems
But still there are times when I think about my final breath

I feel scared
But not of being dead.

I’m scared for the ones that I’ll leave behind
Will my family be alright?

I’m scared for A, because she will be cut out
She will feel guilty and she will have no one to talk this about

And my cousin, he’s so sensitive
I don’t want anything bad happening to him

My sister, we got so much close
What happens if I shut the final door?

I’m afraid that G will get lost
She’s so fragile, without me she won’t get enough support
I’m so scared for you, you can’t even imagine
I want a guarantee that your life will be magic

If I could be certain about their future, I would be in peace
I’d accept everything that life wants to give to me

I am not afraid of the other side
But this life frightens me so much
Please don’t let the people I love give up
Or just let me even then being their guide.

Another summer is ending
We are all leaving this land
And I wonder when will we be togheter again.

Each end brings a new start
But this one bring a dangerous tension
which could destroy our past
I hoped it would have faded away by now
But it’s getting stronger, and I don’t know how

How can I stop it
How can I save us
We have always been united,
Four people who looked as one.
now there’s only a huge split
That drives you miles away
From what we were, from what we became.
I hate that you can’t realise it
I hate the way you did this

But I can’t hate you,
I swear I can’t.
I just don’t know how to bring you back.

The more the time passes,
The less you’ll hear from them
I will be the only connection
To a friendship which wasn’t supposed to end.

And I hate being the middle
The bridge to your past life
I hate watching you argue
With nothing left to try.

I feel stupid and uncertain
That’s something I can’t stand
I think we’ve reached the end
But no one seems to care.

But what I hate the most
Regards my stupid self
Because here I’m able to write all of this
But I can’t say this to your face.