When the girls in my grade argue
They come for each others appearances
It’s a game of fat and flat thrown back and forth
“Your stomach hangs over your pants like a waterfall”
“I hate girls with mosquito bite *****”
And it makes me worry
What if I were to argue with one of them?
What would they say about me then?

The girls who fight are objectively beautiful
Tiny noses and full chests
Long eyelashes and smooth hair
I’m not like those girls
What if I were to fight?
The truth would come out

Everyone calls me beautiful
But I promise it isn’t true
Because those same people send me videos on weight gain
Encourage me to wear push up bras
Ask me if I don’t wear shorts because my legs are so skinny
Beg me to straighten my hair
Call me a “books over looks” kind of person

I hear them talk to each other
“Stunning”
“Beautiful”
“Gorgeous”
But when their subject walks away
Those words disappear
In fact they’ll often take a negative turn

One day
I’m going to get into a fight
And the truth will come pouring out
And It’ll sting
But I’ll feel no surprise
Because it happens to the beautiful girls in my grade
So it will certainly happen to me

And do you know that feeling
When you’re about to cry?

It creeps up your throat
Making that sizzling sound as it goes

And you fight so hard
To push it down
To keep it down
To hide it away?

It’s the same feeling with the words
“I love you”
They burn in your throat
Hurt your eyes
Torture your mind

But you push them down
Because if you spit it out
You’d be pushing him away