Thoughts abound in the whirlmill that is my mind
Fear, regrets, despair, anguish dominate
Devoid of joy and happiness, love nothing but a nightmare
Lost to the past i find myself bound
Forsaking love, never loving, fearing love
Hiding from, wanting to feel, absent love lingers and hurts
Longing to mirror my soul's reflection in my lover's eye
Bereft my heart in never ending fear
Always yearning, finding love never enough
Returning , giving my soul back, paralyzed me
Fearing a simple kiss more than death itself
Love meant it all, drowning from it, only getting closer
Delusions and false remembrances canvased my pain
Rejecting love thought me free
Landscapes of lies paint dreams never dreamt
Quest for intimacy and eternal love befallen reality
Unrelenting denial brought me to love
My heart opened to my soulmate
But she was not there