The nightmares I have in my mind while my eyes are open are far worse than the nightmares I have when I lie my head down on the pillow.
I’d much rather awaken to me falling than to breathe through these thoughts of loved ones dying.
I often wonder if I’d awaken to find that it’s all just an imaginary dream
But everything’s the same day by day night by night
I’d much rather be having sleep nightmares than awake nightmares at least the nightmares when I’m asleep give me a break.
Do you ever get a break ?

You don’t know what it's like
To try
And try
And try
With no results

You don’t know what it's like
To cry
And cry
And cry
Tears full of salt

You don’t know what it's like
To die
And die
And die
Every second you're alive

You don’t know what it's like
To lie
And lie
And lie
But nothing
Will ever
Ever
Ever
Get better.

I went up to a squirrel
Such a stressed creature
I asked
"What's wrong?"
For some reason he didn't answer me

Friendless and strange
Hoping for change

Why can't I be like them?
It shouldn't be so hard
For them it comes naturally

Laughing
Hugging
Talking all day

I just watch with envy
Wishing I could be this way

Seeds, too, were surrounded by darkness
before they became anew—
held close by the quiet earth,
pressed into silence so deep
it swallowed the memory of the sky.

Did they mourn the light they had never known?
Did they fear the weight above them,
or trust the unknowable forces
that buried them so?

And when they split themselves apart,
breaking open to grow,
was it with joy,
or was it pain
that gave way to life?

What, then, of us?

I watched him walk away
fading into the misty gray

A sense of sadness
Ballooned up inside
and swelled and swelled
until tears met my eyes.

She stands infront of my path
as it to get my attention.
I pretend to fumble with my planner
and I walk past her.
I hear their laughs over the crowd.
They’re laughing at me, aren’t they?

But I have my planner dog eared.
I was already open on this week.
I was fumbling purposefully with last week.
I knew exactly what she was doing.
And I purposefully ignored her.
Why do I hate her so much?
Why am I so non-verbal when I feel sad?

a shadow comes off her when she forgets

to lie in wait--as one when there is no

one.

submission as much as movement,

answerlessness in the praying--grace in

the lack of sign.

the tentative quality of the miraculous,

as if something to be settled on--what's

everpresent.

a pearl white necklace worked

backwards, soft round breaths on the

curve of her spine.

every pearl a grace period...Fur Elise.