Not passing judgment.
Wouldn’t mention it-
But for,
Someone probably should.
Not my life-
Just anybody can see!
Should you do it?
Yes, just because you doubt.

Smeared with sweetness.
No corner lost.
Caught in the sweet sticky.
Unable to free.

Mix our blessings;
Guard us from troubles;
Led him not into temptation;
Let me not lose my sense of humor;
Grant us years;
Let the mess  not overwhelm our home;
Let fertility not overwhelm our purse;
Joined.
One, but well formed as individuals.
Let us not lose our own being.
Let me support him.
Let him lien on me.
Let him hold me tight.
Let me rest my weary head on his shoulder.
Joined at the heart.
Joined with delight.
Joined in rhythm.
Joined in misery.
Joined in laughter.

Asked just a question.
Now you know my soul.
It seemed so simple.
All given way.
Saw that look.
You knew you had me.
Defiance rose and fell away.
My time to turn.
So very done.
Deep breathe catching the close sob.
The reach for me unanswered.
Regret for sharing.
Loss of self.

Don't remind me,
Don't hop on my last nerve.
I wander about in the lost land
Trying to discover a new path
Looking for a bright end
With answers
Just don't try to compare
Let me be,
Let me breathe.
Do you really think it
makes us stronger?
I thought this was just
a short drop off
for the everlasting.
Just don't.

I don’t want to practice.
I want to write-
To record the balance-
To repeat the truths-
Without a purpose.
To connect it in a fashion
Not to win, but to explore.
To love human nature
Without regard for law’s
Cruel reason.

Just one time.
Never again.
But allow it once.
Forgive me, God.
Maybe one more time.
My soul is weak.
I can't seem to stop-
Humble human that I am--
Forgive me that I am.

How deep can it go?
Cover what is felt.
Nothing weeps.
Nothing known.
Nothing really said.
Stiff with soft silence.
Just a name.
Cause you never knew.

Step up.
Don't step aside.
Don't surrender self.
Don't shake with fear.
Be sturdy.
Be sure.
Reach for the next.

Both hands rest on either side;
Resting on lapels;
Gently rubbing down;
Pushing flat cloth with care;
Heavy, smooth blue;
Loving brush of the chin above;
Tender kiss on smooth shaved check;
Soft eyes down;
Hands quietly grasp the smoothed lapels;
Letting go one, more time.
With a pat on either side;
Turn away and let it be.

Drop of a word.
Not saying exactly what mean.
Just a tad off.
A gap not quite reaching.
Knowing, quietly knowing.
Empty and full at the same time.
Morning never rises.
Night is ever present.
Lapsing gently from present to past.
Leaving this for the next.
Exiting through the past.

Just a drop of recollection.
Not remembered.
But forgotten.
A word misspoken
With no purpose.
Is it my lapse?
Has it struck?
Can I live
Without placement
With a mind that no longer
serves me, but wonders
to unknown.
Will I wonder without purpose?
All goals unknown and undone.
Just a lapse.
A lapse of what is.

Didn't share the last meal;
Left the room with a smile;
Should have been a long hug;
Should have said how much
I cared, not just a smile;
To recapture and relive
to perfection a chance missed;
I will always feel sorrow;
I would have sat for that hour;
I would have had that chat;
But you felt tired;
You did not feel well;
You were in the midst of leaving;
That last day, I could have done more;
I could have shown how much
I felt, but now regret, my lost moment.
I await the promise of a later date
when I will make amends.

Mouth wide open;
Hair tossed back;
Feeling the flight of care;
Living the glory of the moment;
Unaware of stares;
Childlike freedom of self;
With release of worry;
Abandonment of dignity.
Reckless disregard of strangers.
Caught in the wonder of
Life's remedy.

Soothing as my mood runs
in disorder.
Soft whispers against
My harsh inside voice.
Like a drop of ink
Split into a bucket of water.
It dissolves and fades.
Lavender with sweet scent,
Makes me rest.
Tired of troubles.
Free of thought.
Tumbling away concerns.
Released.
Quiet empty.

Cuddle up tight in a warm blanket;
With pillows surrounding;
Christmas tree blinking at me in the corner;
Fire crackling in the fireplace;
Hot chocolate on the table;
Fun book in my lap;
Not enough of these lazy days.
Kids come through shouting;
Goldens jump up in my lap tipping over cocoa;
This is the chaos that I know.
Time to wrap the gifts, let out the dogs, and treat the kids.
Thoughts of reading tossed aside with my book's lost mark.

Think you are
Walking your walk.
But, I have a plan.
Lean on me, babygirl.
I rule your world.
I wrote the plan
Before you were born.

Turned away,
No more say,
Just leave.
Deep red hues
Busting over hills.
Leaves pulled by rain.
Autumn tune of vibrant life
and dying all at once.
Train's whistle in distance.
No more words to say.
Just leave.
Let me be.
Let it be.

Just a whisper
low and sweet
Moaning,
Rising above,
Take me in and let me be.
Hide me quiet.
Let me be.
Rest me deep.
Share me not.
Just for you.
Know my name,
But let me be.
Just you and me.
I’ll not tell.
Just let me be.

As a child to watch
Yet never be seen;
As a wife to obey
Yet never be heard;
As a caretaker to care;
Yet never be valued.
A woman's life was once
sorry short.

Life is sorry short
As a child to watch
to never speak;
As a wife to obey
always be meek;
As a caretaker
eyes never leak;
At death,
leave the bleak.
A woman's life is
sorry short.

I hate you
I hate you very much.
Yet we share.
The history.
Only you can help.
Only you know
The deep of my pain.
Yes, dear,
I hate you very much.

As a flame hot.
Bright with white.
The burn of truth.

Grew up with too many
Lived life with too many
Took care of too many
Loved by too many
Plagued by too many
Lost too many
Years too many

Pink it out;
Trace the path;
Color the truth;
Leave traces behind;
Brand your prize.
Silly trip of fancy.
Telling all secrets
of the unforgiven.

Lonesome house in the field.
No longer full of voices.
No longer full of family.
Where lives bloomed.
Where tragedy came.
Left abandoned.

Lonesome house in the field.
No longer claimed.
No longer wanted.
With front porch dipping down.
In graceful bow to passing traffic.

Lonesome house sitting in the field.
No longer stories.
No longer groomed.
With golden fields surrounding,
Collapsing dreams forever lost
in a pile of wood coming down.

Quick daylight leaving;
Tumbling darkness;
Cold wind batters the shutters;
Candle flickers;
Fireplace crackling with bright heat;
Dancing shadows against the walls;
Song of the long night;
Red and green decor;
Women with hoods and gloves;
Druid dream surround;
Met with Christian mood;
Mankind's combination
Of spirit and mystical.
Long night fills the soul.

Just because it lasts,
Doesn't make it good.
Just too stupid to stop.
Do the same wrong thing.
Feel the same empty.
Was it just the money?
Peace alone at any price.
Stop living the same mistake.
You're right I was as stupid
as you said.
I lived the same lie
for thirty years.
But I am done.
Go find your fortune
Elsewhere.
It was never me.
It was just a long term.

Read a story.
Became a path.
Went blind.
Lost my way.
Couldn't read
My way home.
Light slowly came.
But now I working
my way back.
Still a little lost.
A little hungry.
A little thirsty.
Humor may return.

Love removed
Never near the place
Mossy damp darkness
The feeling of almost, but not quite
Remembering in a dream,
But forgetting to linger in the dream
Harsh woken by reality

Love removed
The thing feared most
Yet it happened
The sharing removed
The pang that  will never be
Not regained and as before
Harsh woken by reality.

God wants us to sing
Gentle harmonizing songs.
But we are man;
We ate the fruit
Of know it all.
Now we roam
With those who hate.
Maybe we all hate a little
If not a lot.
Brutality where God
Whispered love songs
To us all.

Said we were young.
Only fifteen.
Still young.
Still love.
Mutual respect.
Mutual silly.
Five years strong.
Already faced the rough.
Have so much sweet.
I call her "my girl".
I am "her boy".
We were made for each other.
Lucky enough to know it early.

What is lost
The time together until I see you;
My favorite song until it is sung;
The most delicious dish until
it rests upon my tongue,
at which time, I close my eyes
and taste it with emphasis as never before.
My beloved who left too soon, but
when I leave all nonsense here -- that too
will be as strong as ever before.
No longer planned, just lived.
No longer known, just loved.

You test my patience;
Give me bliss;
Cause me rage;
Help my purpose;
Share my blues;
Dance my beat;
Subdue my fears;
Make my heart sing.

Simple start.
Neither yes nor no.
Just wasting time.
Indifferent experimentation.
Tempting time with sensation.
Sinking under the gentle pull.
Excitement builds -
Breathe catches
Given time no becomes yes.

The invite opens
For those who are young.
Please RSVP.
Youth without a guest.
Youth without a guess.
Occasion arises.
Warm fate stands ready.
Welcome for those
Who accept.
No going back,
only forward.
Table of options,
Accept the consequences.
Warm fate serves youth.

I grew mellow;
I grew not to care;
I tossed my thoughts;
I gave a stare;
It stared back;
Ate me whole;
My green went yellow;
Fear took hold;
I gathered pride;
I await next tide
When I feel mellow.

This is such a short bit;
Time swift with wishes;
Never as intense as anticipated;
Just a drift of thought.
Must be more.
Isn't that the promise?

Not my label to be shared;
Sometimes it's just wrong;
Pushing me into a corner.
Is it because you are the one?
Tired of you throwing
It on me as if I own it.
Take back your burden.
Empty my path.
I won't claim the name.
Just a mere woman.
But a fate to be lived.
Without a misnomer.

First flew past.
Second my arm didn't touch.
The last I fumbled.
Each attempt, I felt, I tried.
But, I never got right.
I wanted to hold it close.
I wanted to get just right.
Missed it -- missed it all.
Now, too late -- the lights are off.
The mist is settling.
My mood is gone.
Just missed it.

You made me
I made you better
You are gone
My heart cries as I dream
I miss you

Out in the open.
So wrong,
so much hurt for all.
If I could **** it
all inside like air
making it
leave the earth,
I would.
Yet it is there,
pain for all,
for all to suffer.
Your mistake, but
I would take it
deep inside
if I could so
you no longer
felt its stain.

The promise of something good,
Beyond the summer storm;
An especially good piece of chocolate cake;
But tonight, its something about to leave;
The feeling of tender loss;
The wind can't dry the pain;
The rainbow won't arch above;
The taste is bitter sweet with
What could have been.
But what was,
hummed the crickets,
Thrilled the soul.

Slowly making journey
Following downward
Dark and sticky
Molasses sweet mess
Mixing with butter
Cascading over bland
White bread
Mo lasses, mo lasses
Cried my sweet baby
'I want more lasses.'

Going to meet with Gemma!
Did you pack my special pants?
We can pack when I get back!
Don't touch that bag!
See ya later!
Maybe not!
College tomorrow.
I'm so gone.

Refuge from pain;
Balance of thought;
Constant defender;
Patient ear;
Loving support;
Now my turn.
I need to protect you;
To hold you steady;
To redirect;
To make it right;
To hold you tight;
To hide my care.
To love you
With all my heart.

It grabbed my mother.
When will it seize me?
Will it take my daughter?
Will my son go scot-free?
When will thought escape me?
My memories be surrendered?
No more plan.
No more focus.
Just a life forgotten.

So high sometimes.
Others dipping.
The wild loop breaking forth
Trying to catch
At angels wings.
Somehow crashing
With despair.
Mere mortal on the earth.

Buzzing in my ear
Trapped beneath the sheet
Can't see it
Just waiting for the landing
Hoping to smash it
**** thing numbs me
Takes it's plunge
Tiny little scoop
Leaving behind poison
In place of blood
Tiny little *****
Leaving itches
That welt upon my touch
Tense with purpose
Slap the little nuisance
One red smear of battle won
So much for that

She brought him home.
His smile was easy.
His words were free.
Her face lit with his empty words.
Didn't she see?
He's married.
Has two kids.
Left his wife.
No divorce.
Let him go.
He is no good.
No happily ever.
Mom says, "Love born wrong.
Leave him be."