Catch the blue
Drift around the moon
Trip over the wrongs
Towards the rights.
Let the sun burn
Your eyes.
Dive into black holes.
No longer defined.
Just a theory.

Water poured throughout the house;
You said I put you in the attic;
No rest all night;
I saved the goldens;
I swam to save the best;
You couldn't rest
As I collected the family
Pulling them from the depths
of flooding waters.
Yet we live in the woods.
There is no rain.
No water, only floods of loss
Which we fight each day.
Loss of memory.
Loss of movement.
Loss of employment.
Loss of liberty.
Pouring throughout our home.
Yet we pull each other out
and move to the next level.
Trying to rise above.

Wrapped in a small package;
Sitting on the table.
The light streaming from the huge window
Above the door landing on the table
Where the package sat.
Dust dancing about the golden rays
Reaching the tiny package.
Inside the secret held.
Awaiting the chance to be known.
Should it be seized before shared?
Or opened for all to see?
She ran her fingers along the edge
of the table.
Bit her lip and raised the package.
Folded so carefully.
So plainly in brown paper.
No bow, no card.
She placed it back.
Grabbed her coat.
Glanced once more about the hall.
Pushed the door and called her fate.
The brown package was past.

Downtown in dark ballroom;
Empty but for two;
Dressed for the prom unattended;
Sixteen, in love.
Forbidden, but desired.
Music on the phone.
Protective chin resting on
Gently tilting head.
Eyes shut feeling the moment.
Forbidden, but not forgotten.
Belonging and loved.
Their own personal prom.

Walking through a forest
Large trees with faces in the trunks
Truths carved in the wood
Sun casting through the dark green
Shadows pushing back the heat
The earth dark and rich
New life trying to push through
the decaying floor
Secrets hidden below the brown leaves
Truth in the heart can be found
Reckoning with self and dilemma
Rotting smells rise from the floor
Trees stand above the rot in graceful stance
Showing regal in their realm ever reaching
Toward the heavens with noble bearing.

No schedule.
Just long walks.
My own thoughts.
Not the nuisance
Of responsibilities.
No hungry questions
With no easy answers.
No one pulling at me
With their plans.
Freedom to be
My inner self.
Prayers of repair.
Filling an empty soul.
Lonely healing
So very much needed.

Tumbling through the full.
Not merely surviving, but
Truly thriving.
No complexities of living too long.
Enjoying the rounded tastes.
Dancing with angels.
Spinning with demons.
Letting go of the sadness.
Free wheeling delight.

They made a choice
Sweetest Choice.
They went astray
Against the word.
They made a choice
Free Will.
They went astray
Against the ease.
They made a choice
Their own desire.
They went astray
Against the bond.
They made a choice
Deepest Shame.
They went astray
Against their God.

Deep feeling in stomach's pit;
Growing with suspicion;
Knowing it is so;
Without actually seeing;
Faith in the goosebumps
of knowledge rising on my arm;
Because it is so;
Lick my lips;
Push back at the thought;
Only to have it surface again and again.
Ever growing, ever knowing.

Yet another falls behind;
Like an apple off my tree;
Resting on the ground
With mellow sweetness;
Ripe with what was
and what should have been;
The first apples were pulled
With greedy hands
and hungry delight.
Now, more apples on the ground
Than left on the tree.
Fall is deep.
Winter is near.
Frost bite will soon take the rest.
The apples made sweeter by the age and cold.
Only the wise enjoy what is left.

The quality has left.
Spinning quantity
Without purpose.
Painful empty.
Just dreaming,
No longer with me.
Unable to push to purpose.
Just eyes shut with no repair.
Caught on earth,
Unable to exist as self.
Drifting still,
Unable to furnish the finish.

Spreading.
Letting it grow.
Feeling it burst from nothing.
Bright green cascades over reason.
World seeing its growth.
At first amazed then dismay.
Taking over
Climbing over
Killing life underneath by blinding
From light all below.
So huge all collapses beneath its weight
Just a thought left to grow.
Prune with reason
Feed with care.
**** anxiety from the patch.
Don't over-fertilize with manure.

I will give you thirty minutes
Gather your crowd
on the Boulevard
Half will be for me
Half will be against me
We'll have our parade
and ride down the
Boulevard yelling out
the truth.

I will give you thirty minutes
Gather your crowd
We'll have a poll
If I am wrong, I will kiss your...

Well anyway,

Gather your crowd on the Boulevard
We'll share a tale and right the wrong.

Was that just a generation away?
A time when my mother had no voice.
A time when my mother was told to be seen, but not heard.

Was that just a generation away?
A time when a woman had to endure the rant of a man.
A time when an angry man was held in awe.

Was that just a generation away?
When a woman jumped to grab the salt which sat a foot away
from the man.
A time when a woman had to justify a missing sock.

Was that just a generation away?
Do people still try to pull that ****?
Let it go.

Little lady sit there still;
Never raise concern;
No skinned knees;
No challenge, please;
Watch life and learn;
Don't question, just observe;
Not a bother;
Soft spoken;
Hidden by the veil of shyness.
Think your own thoughts;
Dream your silent dreams;
Don't disappoint with rebellion.
Never let them see your thought.
Only share with God.
But the problem is  
once you are grown --
Life's a struggle with a battle
Never learned.
Only dreams and thoughts
of what should be.
Never knowing how it is truly done.

Walking in bright
Glow of morning.
Feeling a gentle chill.
More red birds, new beginnings.
Last year were blue birds.
Happiness will return
With fresh start.
Quiet sleep
With fulfilling dreams
Will return.
Deep breath full
Of optimism
And renewal.
Today shines.

In the light
A fake dimension
Hinting at light
Holding a bit
Of shadow.
Teasing a party.
Dancing alone.

Far from done,
But nothing left
To give.
Just the loneliness
Creeping from
Outer edges to
My center.
What will bring me
From empty.

Not going to walk your path;
Roaming my own thoughts:
Not trying to control you;
Feel free to be the *** you are:
Let it fly with my exit;
Don’t expect me to right
Your uncontrollable wrongs.
Get along with it;
I am gone.

My dear first;
Want to cling to the good
But the bad keeps rising.
Fell asleep in your car?
Really?
Who were you holding?
Said yesterday was good.
Who got that day?
Seems all I get is crazy.
Like them, Helluva lies.
Excuses not even good.
Don't care enough to cover.
Goodbye, *******.
See you never.

Weak with approaching death;
My body has slowly surrendered;
Strained with remembering;
All the love over all the years;
Gather my loved one's prayers;
My wife's tears of hope which
I can no longer take.
We had each other, my precious girl.
My lips want to form a smile.
It was a good run.
A valiant victory lap  for someone
who had legs that would no longer move.
The wreath is still upon my brow
and will be placed upon my coffin.
But it was a good run.
I stayed as long as I could.
I love you, Carolyn.

The mist on the face;
Morning bright is hidden;
Fresh salty breeze covers the day;
Thoughts fog the morning walk.
Deep breath to move forward
away from anxious nags of
yesterday's problems.
Tumbling down the path of
lists to do.
Considering life's blessings
and gentle meditation.
Walking forward and counting steps.
Loudly silent.

Some are born under rainbows.
And are blessed with promise.
Others are born with storms
And have no blessings.
Finding it hard to make their way,
Traveling the normal path
With awful consequence not known to most.
What explains their curse?
Still loved and cherished,
But forever facing crises that makes
Their mothers cry.
Stormy children in the weather
Floods of tears and prayers.
Grow past the folly into knowledge.
Step back from normal
Be better than careful.
Understand your place as a stormy child
With no rainbow shield to keep you safe.

I went back to town
I had to see
Did he want me?
He had said how bout lunch
I went back to town
Beginning or end
I had to see
Heart wide open
Ready to fall
Picked up my phone
I made the call

Part left untold;
Not on the side
where can share
all that needs to be
shared.
Only half truths known;
the other half is burning
at my ribs and aching
to release.
Only the maker knows
the full truth.
Wicked to share the
full thought which
might not be the full
truth, but needs to be
said.
Not one wrong alone.
Unfortunate truth.
Doesn't make it hurt less.

Just need to change it up;
Sit there and wait;
It won't be what you expect;
Don't hang up;
I just need to change;
Waited all year for your call;
Please don't go;
Put on my lipstick;
Put on on my heels;
Are you coming?
Did you hang up?
Do I hear that tone?
You said we would talk.
Why did you go?
Maybe next time.
Not such a change.

Dream in the big world.
Always trying to catch up.
Falling behind with only thoughts.
Never independent.
Not part of this.
Flights into the abandoned areas of the mind.
Not belonging but never knowing it.
Choosing a path because it exists.
Could happen to anyone.
Yet it happens to her.

Dry with bliss.
Sensation without purpose.
Just a near miss.
A peak rising
amongst the clouds.
Sunshine blazing.
Warm sensation.
No acknowledgement
of below.
Vacation from despair.

Angels dancing;
Demons in a spin;
My mood glides north;
I am not forgotten;
Blessings pour over me as the sun;
Bright reds and oranges;
Shining with laughter;
I giggle with lit heart
Knowing gladness in the world;
Demons in a spin;
Angels dancing.

Lingering summer.
Moon resting on the trees
Big, round, orange.
Summer's burn on my cheeks.
Laying on the brown
Woolen Army blanket
Prickly to my bare shoulders.
My suit still wet from the swim.
Coolness chilling the summer night.
Contemplating things to come.
Stroking aimlessly the moist
Green grass beside the blanket.
Moaning music drifting from the house
On the hill above.
Lazy summer coming to end.
Smokey fall and sad goodbyes-
Omens yet to come.

Listen for the call;
This can’t be all;
Don’t we do for good?
Cassandra yelled muted
Cries to those who
didn’t hear.
Hear me.

Long nights dream,
wishing heart ,
Lost in thoughts of want.
Not worried about finding
the purpose
with the fullness of life lived.

He hit me
His fist met my face like an old friend
I backed away

His anguish filled the room
He flung his arms in the air
I backed away

No  future
No past
All just a blow
He hit me

Scrape on the ground.
Held up as glides in the room.
Tossed behind in reckless play.
Torn with careless wear.
Seems to be a test of character.
Just the right length - debonair.
Too long - never give a care.
Carried by maid of honor.
Pulled by heel.
Pushed in passion.
Shortened for youth.
Lengthened for age.
Hidden at death.

When I was a child,
Little convertibles were the car
to have;
You grew your hair long;
You walked bare foot;
Wore denim;
Big clothe bags;
Ate vegetables; and
Found yourself by
Travelling the road.

Notice all the pull of the moon;
Like the feel of nature beneath my feet;
Build on scents with careful brew;
Flowing fate forward to tomorrow;
Reading people upon a glance;
Isolation and thought relief.

Not once, but twice.
It is drawn back.
Redirected and swung forth.
Hitting the target,
He takes a step back
To gaze at the hole left.
His notice given.
His aim taken.
His whim fulfilled.
Nothing but a blank open.
Left alone to contemplate
What should have been.

Looked across at him;
Concentration firm;
Focused on ahead;
Blue eyes searching the page;
Almost done;
For me just a beginning;
Next phase alone;
Holding steady;
Not to compare;
Leaning forward for an easy time.
That never quite comes.
Dust floating the light
to fall in dark corners.
Trapped in the wait
For a better day.

Sweet untold.
Left alone without regret.
If too fierce.
Best untold.
Honey words of truth.
Shared by lovers.
Shared by mothers.
Lost by liars.
Drip with saccharin
Not quite so.
Honey warm yellow
Manmade words
Stuck in wax.

Each of us fills our cell
With the honey word
Imagination or real
Working to fill the nest
Building off the life collected
Humming with trial and error
Preparing this giant nest
Sharing with each other
The work we made.
Sweet, maybe deadly if too close.
Unknown workers.
Working side by side in this creation.
Unified in purpose.
Collected using smoke and mask.
To slap on biscuits and devour.

His smile was perfect
His manner easy
Why did mom hate him
Why did mom hurt him
His name became a curse
He ran with mom's girl

Yet mom still spoke evil
mom yelled angry words
Girl said, "Crazy Mom"
Off they went together
mom's words made no matter
Happily ever after

The breeze of it brushes past the side of your body.
You step your toes to the yellow line.
A chill goes down your back.
You feel the near.
You push your eyes close with the tears.
Not knowing whether to finish or
To stay just that side of the line.
The mystery of the unknown.
The caution of the known.
How close do you dare to step.

Move the flounce to the right.
Move the step to the left.
Place the tiara on the head.
Dip into the mood.
Push the shoulder into the lift.
Allow the spirit room to guide.
Spin with the demons.
Dance with the angels.
Hum to a new day.

So cold it burnt my soul.
You so loved with no return.
Alone in love-almost.
You too loved - yourself.

Sit up straight.
Don't slouch with disappointment.
Ladies don't do that.
If it isn't nice, don't share.
Hold it deep inside.
Let it fester.
Don't tell the bad.
Don't make discomfort.
Glow, don't sweat.
Water makes it grow.
You might burst.

Thought you were mean;
You said no more;
I was hurt;
So you pulled me back;
Not with passion;
But gentle caring;
It had been love;
Then it was guilt;
You meant no more;
But you were human.
You felt my pain.
Not cruelness.
Just helplessness.
You were done.
I get it now.

She shakes her head;
Move on, it isn't.
He reaches for her;
I will wait.
Strongly she pulls back;
Too late.
With tears in his eyes;
I will wait.
She frowns;
You let it go
Now, I feel no more.
I can't just be elected
because I won't.
He dips his head, my former crush;
I think I feel it, too.
If it is meant,
It will happen in God's time.
She turns;
God has better things
For his time.

Restless sleep;
Frustrated pillow tossing;
Tangled in sheets with kicking feet;
Let it be outside;
Quit soaking through;
Tearing at me little bits;
Inside job is robbing me
of  piece of mind.

All watched as I answered;
They thought they knew;
It was the New Year;
The special call;
I cradled the phone
with both hands to my ear;
Caller who loved me;
They assumed it was one;
But it was the other.
The other who held me
More dear in his heart
Who could not be near;
The one who was supposed to call
Never called that New Year.
I kept the secret to myself.
I gave the one credit.
I kept the other to myself.
My parallel life smoothed past.

Wake a day with longing.
Drawing from deep within
Strength from your very core.
To make it better with  sheer
Force of will.
Wellbeing because you want
To make it be.
Chase away the unknown
For that desired.
I will make it go away.
I will find the day
Of results gained.
Wake a day with success.