Tossed words with emotion
Thrown out love spoken softly
Grief and anguish moaned
Scraps of life lived shared
A phrase that catches my ear
I don't, want to forget
The power of the words
That so simply capture
The moment lived
The love shared
The beauty of together lived

Didn't expect that
Just inspect the car
Four bad tires
Just looking for a place to park
Ticket.
Leaky pipe
What a bill
Full on love
Low on funds
Making do, but feeling done.
Young and poor,
Still so blessed.
Wisdom's wasted on the old.

Made my world ring
With love;
Showed me the worth;
So miss your smile.

Wondered off;
Left this path;
Moved to the next thought;
All just a notion;
Never really part.
Left to hymns and angel wings.
Don't forget me.
I am still here.
Eternity ahead.
See you soon.

My mother rises on the pedestal
From the deep blue of the pool
With lipstick and perfect hair.
She is Esther Williams.
I flounder in life.
Looking for perfect.
Being just normal.
I am Rhoda - some style
Some wit, but no Esther.
Esther never understood
Rhoda's laugh at her flaws
Her sense of humor at her expense.
Esther wanted beauty and love.
Rhoda wanted beauty and love,
but knew it was a dream just like
rising from the pool with perfect hair.
You have to make believe those things.

Rainy afternoon.
Umbrellas and puddles,
Wet dogs shaking.
Truth of time.
Saw you inside
Crowded metal diner.
Ducked inside
Busy cook filling orders
You poured over
coffee and text book.
With wet hair.
I sunk beneath the depth
of infatuation.
Recovered myself pushing
By the tip of my closed umbrella
to your side.
Dry toast on a wet day.
No notice, no play.
"Just the check please."
Better weather tomorrow.
Today just a glance.
Two wet shoulders with little notice.

Alas, it was not wine
Just late coffee
Kept me stirred.
So I swirled.
Wicked dance of
Wide awake.

Part left untold;
Not on the side
where can share
all that needs to be
shared.
Only half truths known;
the other half is burning
at my ribs and aching
to release.
Only the maker knows
the full truth.
Wicked to share the
full thought which
might not be the full
truth, but needs to be
said.
Not one wrong alone.
Unfortunate truth.
Doesn't make it hurt less.

Some days I feel so deep,
Others I am numb.
I have felt so much
My heart is covered by  turtle shell.
I feel no more.

I have no more to share.
No truth to tell.
I stare blankly
When once I was amazed.
Now I am unmoved.

My turtle shell is heavy.
I rest with blank dreams.
Please reserve my place in life.
I'll be back with my shell
pushed back.
Just not this day.

Piled with trash of discontent;
Pushed aside with tired hand;
Grief uncovered;
Airing out all fears;
Allowing the blue in;
Wipe away debris of dark;
Opened eyes to light of forward.
Full of all concerns
Which have ever feared;
But underneath the weight crushes;
Atop you can gauge your foe.
Atop you may climb ahead.
Atop you may see a path.
Push aside the trash of discontent.

Like an envelope unopened.
A song unsung.
Not to be known.
Just a touch of sorrow.
A little bit of want.
Dropped from heaven.
Bursts of stars.
Sloppy kisses.
Tipsy turns.
Careful sips of life.

Expected, but not now.
Ceremony done.
Trying to make myself
Comfortable and
Trying to ease myself
Into Alone.
In my dreams, we visit.
It is so easy to talk.
Heaven as close as a nap.
Feeling your touch
As I sleep.
Your hand on my back.
Alone as I wake.
I wish I had not rushed
to leave your side.

Yesterday, I was buying a house on the beach.
Today, heading to Vegas.
Tomorrow, I may go to London.
It's a get away.
Once a day,
For me alone,
Perfect gardens.
Full moons at noon.
Loves lost found.
Waves of past and present never lived.
Daydream, wide awake with purpose.
Full imagination of desires.
Next week, maybe Mars.

Am I suppose to sing praise of the clouds?
Only words of wisdom from my old lips?
Love long soured in my old heart.
Forgotten motion of days long past.
Tell the young to enjoy
What I no longer truly remember.
Sit in silent ponder of days.
Listen to music which raises thoughts
From ashes of days long gone.
Yet still there is beauty in the clouds.
The sweetness of love lingers
Softly on the edges of my heart.
My warning to the young is gentle advice.
My silence brings meditation and quiet with God.
The music gently surrenders the beauty of the past
to my forgetful mind.
Some wisdom does fall occasionally from my lips.

Wish for another;
Take a dip scoop;
Trip outside the bounds;
Cough out loud;
Swear in church;
Lick another's beau.

Felt so pure, only you and I.
Fun together in all we did.
Memories are as fresh as the day lived;
Songs bring back with renewed luster
all sensations felt;
My thoughts often go back to our times.
Deep love, deep anger
Left unforgiven and unforgotten.

Smeared with sweetness.
No corner lost.
Caught in the sweet sticky.
Unable to free.

What are you seeking?
Don't you miss the same?
Fragrant soaps and careful looks.
Favorite songs and winding roads.
Memories of the singing birds.
Crisp white linens with lavender.
Cloudy, rainy days with gentle hugs.
Just a time, just a loss.
So simple.
Not so important.
Just a thought.

It's on me.
Never saying no.
Guilty for feeling
The weight of the crises.
Accepting that they don't.
Too heavy for them.
Too constraining for them.
They take a little.
Also knowing that
It depends on me.
Head up,
The strength is there.
It's on me
To know my limit.

Notice all the pull of the moon;
Like the feel of nature beneath my feet;
Build on scents with careful brew;
Flowing fate forward to tomorrow;
Reading people upon a glance;
Isolation and thought relief.

Can't feel right now;
Pushed it alone;  
Using myself as
a backstop;
Now I am stuck;
The weight is on my back;
I can't shift;
Answer sought;
You said that I knew
your desire;
Now I squat
down under;
Numb without plan;
You were never
Brave enough to say;
Just tossed it all on me.
Take it back.
I am done.
Your burden, not mine.

Going to meet with Gemma!
Did you pack my special pants?
We can pack when I get back!
Don't touch that bag!
See ya later!
Maybe not!
College tomorrow.
I'm so gone.

It's on me.
Guilty for feeling.
The weight of crises.
Accepting some don't.
Too heavy for some.
Too constraining for them.
They take a little.
To know the limit.

Take to the streets;
Follow a higher law;
Never be a captor of wrong;
Don't be a victim of disorder;
History will be your guide.
Test your own conscience.
Use your own sense of justice.
Don't be led into disrespect
of your fellow human.
Love your freedom and
The God given free will.
Some leaders are no leaders
and stay hidden.
Other boldly mix
with their people
and hear the voices of their people.
The hidden have no conscience,
only self interest.

Don't spill the full;
Wriggle from the top;
Scramble from the bottom;
Make each minute count;
Sip it, don't gulp it;
Boldly eye before the jump;
Sit upon your hands;
The time is resting;
The fate is waiting;
Hours last so long.

Asked just a question.
Now you know my soul.
It seemed so simple.
All given way.
Saw that look.
You knew you had me.
Defiance rose and fell away.
My time to turn.
So very done.
Deep breathe catching the close sob.
The reach for me unanswered.
Regret for sharing.
Loss of self.

With eager eyes viewing.
With hushed tones
so as not to miss the cue.
Sitting on the edge of knowledge.
Just a mist of possibilities.
Not today.
Earnest worry cannot deliver.
Wait another day.

Turned away,
No more say,
Just leave.
Deep red hues
Busting over hills.
Leaves pulled by rain.
Autumn tune of vibrant life
and dying all at once.
Train's whistle in distance.
No more words to say.
Just leave.
Let me be.
Let it be.

Breaking from the day;
Taking a moment of joy;
Doing as pleases;
Just a tease of what might be;
But will never be;
A mere daydream.
A whim for later thought.
Maybe later regret.
Just an afternoon.

Restless sleep;
Frustrated pillow tossing;
Tangled in sheets with kicking feet;
Let it be outside;
Quit soaking through;
Tearing at me little bits;
Inside job is robbing me
of  piece of mind.

Its not about me.
Bits and pieces maybe.
My imagination.
My daydream.
My life.
My sister's life.
Don't try to read my mind.
It flies to distant lands.
Too many stories heard.
Too many stories lived.
Too many stories dreamt.
Don't try to read my mind.
It is just a ***** lie.

Just a splatter on the page;
Not even of this age;
But a note resting on the table;
A reminder of that time;
Something bigger
Yet not recognized at the time.
What a huge part that little splatter.

Angels dancing;
Demons in a spin;
My mood glides north;
I am not forgotten;
Blessings pour over me as the sun;
Bright reds and oranges;
Shining with laughter;
I giggle with lit heart
Knowing gladness in the world;
Demons in a spin;
Angels dancing.

Met her in a place
Where no one wants to be.
People find it warm for winter.
Leave again in spring.
Said she took her meds.
Her family was important.
Paul McCartney wed her cousin.
The pretty was falling from her features.
The care had long gone.
Was an Eastman.
So much said on film.
Needed a cigarette
Lost from her family.
Tell them where she is.
Doing better now.
Said she always took her meds.

Life offers no ease.
No rest from the hardship.
Just the misery of being.
Sleeping on rocks
With no relief.
Travelling in the turmoil
for the day.
Never feeling life's blessings.
Looking for release.
Rolling with the blows of constant woes.

Simply unneeded;
Cargo sliding in the storm;
Threatening to run over
the cherished dreams.
Just push it over the side.
Don't let it crush what matters.

Step up.
Don't step aside.
Don't surrender self.
Don't shake with fear.
Be sturdy.
Be sure.
Reach for the next.

In the light
A fake dimension
Hinting at light
Holding a bit
Of shadow.
Teasing a party.
Dancing alone.

Just need to change it up;
Sit there and wait;
It won't be what you expect;
Don't hang up;
I just need to change;
Waited all year for your call;
Please don't go;
Put on my lipstick;
Put on on my heels;
Are you coming?
Did you hang up?
Do I hear that tone?
You said we would talk.
Why did you go?
Maybe next time.
Not such a change.

Enough today
No more.
No more dancing.
No more love.
Just a bit of rest.
Selfish nothing.
Give no more.
No more gentle touching.
No more words.
No more thoughts of youth.
Enough today, I'm old.

Not really about the drugs;
All about deep inside;
My see is sawing;
I need level;
The drugs just make
It equal for me.
The wine makes me real.
Sometimes its too much.
My taste for life is
the problem.
I like it full with a bite.
It bites back.
The drugs just regulate.
My problem is deep inside.
I like a party edge.

Now I take thee
As my bride, by my side,
As my family;
Now I take thee
for my own;
For me to cherish;
For me to have;
Now I take thee
this autumn day,
my beautiful bride;
full of pride,
full of hope.
My Mary, my wife.
Now I take thee
as my own.
Love me,
As I love you.

Life lived with grace.
Never forgetting contemplation.
Not rushed to adventure.
Let cool thought rule.
Snake charmer of spirit.
Cautious optimism.
Live with expectation of challenge.
Be simple.
Be still.
Follow the tremble of the  turtle heart.

Going for unknown.
Living for pleasure.
Finding none.
Moving in the path of others,
Reckless disregard.
Unnamed and alone.
Hoping someone will stop
Offer normal as a way.
Taking the next hit
Until the day is dark.
Unloved and scrapped.

Just a feeling to never share
Known by none
Deepest secret in the snare
As a child was once a thought
Uncertain of the truth

Just a feeling to never share
Devastate so many
Uncertain left unmentioned
In the night help unsought
Uncertain of the meaning

Just a feeling to never share
Keep it close in your heart
Tamp it down and
Never rise.
Uncertain of the truth.

Floats to the surface
With oxygen that truth
Always seeks.
Truth never hides
Under cover.
Truth needs open
Spaces and blue skies.
The big reveal is always
Pregnant with life
Waiting to burst forth.

I will give you thirty minutes
Gather your crowd
on the Boulevard
Half will be for me
Half will be against me
We'll have our parade
and ride down the
Boulevard yelling out
the truth.

I will give you thirty minutes
Gather your crowd
We'll have a poll
If I am wrong, I will kiss your...

Well anyway,

Gather your crowd on the Boulevard
We'll share a tale and right the wrong.

Night sky with deep dark blues;
Clouds traveling across the moon;
Cool breeze shaking the changing leaves;
The moon's fullness still showing the path;
The water gently lapping in the sound;
The sand's cool grasp as we walk to the edge;
Salty funk rising in the air;
Not wanting change, but knowing one is near;
Time is leaving.

Crisp leaves scrap the pavement
Just outside my window;
The freedom of travel at will
of God;
Me, hostage inside at work;
The dead leaves move;
The living me sits.
No equity in that.
Leaves dancing
And rattling with their own beat.
Me silent, listening.

Head forward
with stretched neck;
Was I that wicked?
Was I that lost?
Just swept up in youth;
Now under deep blue;
Was I my own undoing?
Is this payback?
Gulping blue
In deep swallows.
Lost from myself.