Rebecca: Poems

May 2021 · 443

dated

Rebecca May 2021

dated

Just a tad off
Not the new
A little too knowing
Not shiny
Just a little funk
Outdone
Out shown
Capable but aware
Off putting with stare
Reliable but expected

May 2021 · 76

Not Suppose to Marry

Rebecca May 2021

Not Suppose to Marry

He said "Tried It."
Not for him.
She pulled his arm and cooed.
Young and beautiful.
He pushed her back.
"Not the one." She smiled.
"Never the one."
Tiptoe past it.
Run right through it.
Never again.
Not suppose to marry.
Forever divorced.
Forever stung.
Until the one who ropes him in.
The trophy which must be won.
Not the woman lacking.
Just the feeling.

May 2021 · 86

BEARS REPEATING

Rebecca May 2021

BEARS REPEATING

So often I repeat for emphasis
Maybe because I forgot I said it.
Can you endure the redundancy?
What bears repeating to me
May be mundane to you
It is a matter of judgment
and circumspect.
I will try to leave repeating to bears.

May 2021 · 123

Rainy Afternoon

Rebecca May 2021

Rainy Afternoon

Sitting on the couch with my two dogs
Cuddled with a book
Lost in history
Dreaming about loves at their height
Knowing that I am also in love
At its best
Feeling the intensity
Knowing all will eventually crash
Because all love ends
With lack of passion,
Mortality, or
Whim
But for now a good book
With a good story
On a stormy afternoon.

May 2021 · 71

Molasses

Rebecca May 2021

Molasses

Slowly making journey
Following downward
Dark and sticky
Molasses sweet mess
Mixing with butter
Cascading over bland
White bread
Mo lasses, mo lasses
Cried my sweet baby
'I want more lasses.'

May 2021 · 422

Made for Each Other

Rebecca May 2021

Made for Each Other

Said we were young.
Only fifteen.
Still young.
Still love.
Mutual respect.
Mutual silly.
Five years strong.
Already faced the rough.
Have so much sweet.
I call her "my girl".
I am "her boy".
We were made for each other.
Lucky enough to know it early.

May 2021 · 181

Simple

Rebecca May 2021

Simple

Life lived with grace.
Never forgetting contemplation.
Not rushed to adventure.
Let cool thought rule.
Snake charmer of spirit.
Cautious optimism.
Live with expectation of challenge.
Be simple.
Be still.
Follow the tremble of the turtle heart.

May 2021 · 72

Night

Rebecca May 2021

Night

Open and broad at night.
Cool air blowing through.
Lights from outside lick at the night air.
Hungry with concentration,
eyes stare open at the shadowed
ceiling searching for answers
which escaped the day.
Life is sifted through the head
resting on the pillow
turning over in anxious
cartwheels of what should have been.
Sleep and answers are lost
to the wild troubled heart.
Night's darkness does not ease
the ache of worries.

May 2021 · 66

Tangle

Rebecca May 2021

Tangle

My arm across the chest of most loved.
His head back against the pillow.
His eyes shut in hushed rest.
My cheek rests next to his.
Blindly, he bushes my hair from my face and his.
My leg tossed across his pelvis
Room darkened but with glow of spent.
Time stands still with love shared.
I kiss tender his shoulder.
Not wanting to surrender the piece of together.
Not a time to think how much longer
A life built together.
He raises his hand and brushes the sleep from his eyes.
Releasing me and rising from his rest.
The close is finished for today.
Back to chores and everyday.
My sweetest love, my joy in life.

May 2021 · 86

Forest

Rebecca May 2021

Forest

Walking through a forest
Large trees with faces in the trunks
Truths carved in the wood
Sun casting through the dark green
Shadows pushing back the heat
The earth dark and rich
New life trying to push through
the decaying floor
Secrets hidden below the brown leaves
Truth in the heart can be found
Reckoning with self and dilemma
Rotting smells rise from the floor
Trees stand above the rot in graceful stance
Showing regal in their realm ever reaching
Toward the heavens with noble bearing.

May 2021 · 67

Tremble

Rebecca May 2021

Tremble

I see it.
Your face shows.
It is not the same.
I miss what was.
How did it leave you.
It is so vivid for me.
My heart trembles with the loss,.
I see it by the way you hold your chin.
So I drink more champagne.
No, I don't want food.
So, it is over.
My heart trembles with loss
As you eat a chicken tender.

May 2021 · 123

Don't You See What Matters

Rebecca May 2021

Don't You See What Matters

Son, don't you see what matters
Don't give in
Follow your own
Don't give in to others
Love your own

May 2021 · 288

Fear in Night

Rebecca May 2021

Fear in Night

If a clown comes at me
I will have to run him down
Deep dark night
Where am I
Supposed to be a party
If he comes at me
I will run him down
Head back to Blacksburg
**** that clown

May 2021 · 71

Garden

Rebecca May 2021

Garden

Spreading.
Letting it grow.
Feeling it burst from nothing.
Bright green cascades over reason.
World seeing its growth.
At first amazed then dismay.
Taking over
Climbing over
Killing life underneath by blinding
From light all below.
So huge all collapses beneath its weight
Just a thought left to grow.
Prune with reason
Feed with care.
**** anxiety from the patch.
Don't over-fertilize with manure.

May 2021 · 68

Chase

Rebecca May 2021

Chase

The hunt
The push, the pull
The heat of anger
mistaken for the heat of passion
A love not sweet nor sharing
A hunt with hurt
Mean for strength
For dominance
No true care
Ich liebe Dich nicht
A harsh emotion of obsession
Without a basis in love
Never to release and never to truly want
One last call before the great love
One more attempt to pull her back
One cruel time before the date
One last phone call "I think I might love you."
Give it up ******* - I have gone
No more chase.
I won the hunt.

May 2021 · 69

Dip

Rebecca May 2021

Dip

Drop in his arms
Feeling the security of love
Gaze in his eyes
Feel the music of trust
Hearts beat the rhythm
Close with no other
Hair nearly sweeping the floor
Swoop, I am up again
Swirled away and back
To his safe embrace
Lips tickle my neck
His hand runs the length of me
My forever
To hold the moment of perfection
Who knows how long it will last--
for this moment forever.

May 2021 · 65

Don't Give Me Lip

Rebecca May 2021

Don't Give Me Lip

Good to give
Immediate relief
Possible regret
Honesty told from the heart
Release of feeling
Brush of romance
Seal of words and jars
Tell by tremble
Stiff feelings unknown
Mother's blessing and nightmare
Protest good and bad
Start and finish
Receptor of hedonism.
Kiss
Sealed in death

May 2021 · 48

Walk Softly

Rebecca May 2021

Walk Softly

Know your place
Step away
Too much shows a lacking
Of the one who should have known better
Walk softly
The one lacking is crowded
Love of village is never
What mother seeks
Mother wants no threat
Step softly with others kids
Know your place
Step softly in your place
Love with proper distance

May 2021 · 74

Promise

Rebecca May 2021

Promise

Love me as I love you.
Seek no more than I have.
I will do my best to
Be amazed at every
Stupid thing you do
If you do the same for me.
Stand by me
Through life.
Love me as no other
Straighten my reckless mess
With your ordered crazy.
Never ever end.

May 2021 · 74

Mosquito

Rebecca May 2021

Mosquito

Buzzing in my ear
Trapped beneath the sheet
Can't see it
Just waiting for the landing
Hoping to smash it
**** thing numbs me
Takes it's plunge
Tiny little scoop
Leaving behind poison
In place of blood
Tiny little *****
Leaving itches
That welt upon my touch
Tense with purpose
Slap the little nuisance
One red smear of battle won
So much for that

May 2021 · 773

The Visit

Rebecca May 2021

The Visit

Three a. m. I went outside.
Full moon lighting night
Wind blowing in the new spring leaves
Dancing along wood's edge.
Unknown blessing in my path.
Alone with God,
Yet feeling the presence of another.
The night sounds warning of impending loss
The leaving of my father
As he traveled to eternal.
The wind was his gentle touch as he left the earth
Gently brushing my hair.
'Thanks, daddy, for the visit.'

May 2021 · 92

Raw

Rebecca May 2021

Raw

Rich in form
Rare in color
Radiant
Moves from warm inside
Covering all with sweet blind
Amber tones embrace
Arching in the Air
Wicked thoughts die
Weakness takes the place
Deep breath
Sleeping sighs

May 2021 · 71

Nope

Rebecca May 2021

Nope

I followed the *****
Down to the cost
Never had thought
About the result
Until I reached the bottom
Once there I felt the regret
I wanted to go back
Wanted others to understand
All just a mistake, a bad call
No rope out my deep fall
The ***** was deep and slick
The recovery unavailable
I caused hell for others
And was stuck there too
No redemption
No way out
My mother grieved
My father swore
No more home
Nope, done

May 2021 · 79

Tailor Made

Rebecca May 2021

Tailor Made

Wonder the mystery of acceptance
Never playing the same tune
Looking for the extraordinary
Never giving way
Eyes never meet
Unable to converse
Words playing inside
Never hearing what is said
Bad fit so unfit
No one is found
Friends are hard to know

May 2021 · 80

Chum

Rebecca May 2021

Chum

Feeding the press
Sprinkling half truths
For busy fish who care not
Where the bites originate
Its on the net -
Its in the net
Must be true
Never knowing truth
Just interesting speculation
Chum on the water
From the chum who claims to know.

May 2021 · 180

Gather a Crowd

Rebecca May 2021

Gather a Crowd

I will give you thirty minutes
Gather your crowd
on the Boulevard
Half will be for me
Half will be against me
We'll have our parade
and ride down the
Boulevard yelling out
the truth.

I will give you thirty minutes
Gather your crowd
We'll have a poll
If I am wrong, I will kiss your...

Well anyway,

Gather your crowd on the Boulevard
We'll share a tale and right the wrong.

May 2021 · 77

Birth Order

Rebecca May 2021

Birth Order

Born to it
Not what you are
Who you are
Never as good as born to it
Not merely a longing
To never know the start
To only know success
A name which was given
Because another shone
Not something to grieve
Find your own place
Start with you
Make yours born to it
And theirs born to it
*** the path
Work for it
Earn it
Pass it on
Have yours born to it
No envy burns
Waste of precious time
Make it your gift to yours

May 2021 · 95

Miss You

Rebecca May 2021

Miss You

You made me
I made you better
You are gone
My heart cries as I dream
I miss you

May 2021 · 62

CROWD

Rebecca May 2021

CROWD

The elevator is full.
Everyone is looking up
As if it will move faster
By straining necks.
Eyes only meeting as doors open.
Courtesy reigns.
Strangers remain strangers.
Holding doors and pushing buttons
On command.
Politeness in a busy day.
The elevator is a lesson.
Ordered compromise of strangers
Each trying to go his or her own way
Trapped together for the ride.
Maybe I'll take the steps.

May 2021 · 236

Daydream

Rebecca May 2021

Daydream

Yesterday, I was buying a house on the beach.
Today, heading to Vegas.
Tomorrow, I may go to London.
It's a get away.
Once a day,
For me alone,
Perfect gardens.
Full moons at noon.
Loves lost found.
Waves of past and present never lived.
Daydream, wide awake with purpose.
Full imagination of desires.
Next week, maybe Mars.

Apr 2021 · 706

Bucket

Rebecca Apr 2021

Bucket

I can't take another step
To tote your pain and mine.
You say that
You don't want to be here
Nor do I.
No future for you.
I can't take another step.
I can't carry your burden and mine.
You don't really want to go.
I don't know how to help.
I love you.
It is my turn.
I will take another step.

Apr 2021 · 88

Right Hand

Rebecca Apr 2021

Right Hand

Jealous twin spills unconscious thought
Sharing unknown desires and cares
Heart is shown in reckless folly
Pen to paper betrayed by self
Thinking no one will know
People always get more
Than we believe
Right hand, confessor of our soul
Who is watching as I write?

Go unknown.

Apr 2021 · 100

Churn

Rebecca Apr 2021

Churn

You in my life,
Never clean.
Never right.
Just another obstacle.
Never exactly what I plan.
Never exactly what you say.
Disappointments every time.
Yet I wait,
The good does not get better,
The worse does not get worse,
I live for the perfect that we planned
that so rarely seems to happen.
You churn me up both good and bad.

Apr 2021 · 72

Nothing Gained

Rebecca Apr 2021

Nothing Gained

Mischief lights within
Nothing known can be undone
Find me where I should not be
I invite you in my web
Put aside plan made
You will learn my way of play
I will show you astray
Follow me, my way
Learn I have no fear or mercy
Nothing known can be undone

Apr 2021 · 436

What Is Left

Rebecca Apr 2021

What Is Left

The whiff of smoke.
The unforgettable notes of songs
Sweetly in my ear.
The color of those caring downcast eyes
reflected in the stormy sky.
Creased love letters and dried flowers
The smell in summer evening air.
Scraps of past.
Dreaming with what is left
since my one has left.

Apr 2021 · 81

Six

Rebecca Apr 2021

Six

One was pious.
One was scheming.
One was toast.
One was game.
One was unchaste.
One was left.

Apr 2021 · 64

Not a BFF

Rebecca Apr 2021

Not a BFF

Not a friend, not a BFF, just a mom
Forgotten role,
A role unclaimed.
Don't stash your ***.
No *** in the hall.
I'm thirteen, you, the mom.
Be my example
Act like you care.
Don't hit me in the face.
Don't compete with me
I am just a kid
I hit you because you hit me.
Let me go to grandma's house.
You don't care.

Apr 2021 · 350

Don't Pinch

Rebecca Apr 2021

Don't Pinch

We move through with a certain amount of pain.
We walk the plain of meaning.
Double edged words.
Sharing too much.
Too much imagination
Letting others see deep
Share a life never lived except in our head
Reality is ours.
Do we pinch love ones with recollections
Or keep them quiet inside?
Stay quiet.
Truth may pinch.
Don't pinch,
Otherwise remain unknown.

Apr 2021 · 80

Daddy's Little Girl

Rebecca Apr 2021

Daddy's Little Girl

Old enough to drink.
She seemed naive.
Slow danced to old music.
Her long blonde hair.
Her skirt too short.
Her lips too full.
Out in cool night air
Curiosity leaned him toward her.
Lips met.
Stunned.
Did she know
She had an edge, daddy's little girl stung like a bee.
He pushed her back and walked away.
Too much trouble for too little play
She laughed out loud as he walked away.

Apr 2021 · 70

Whispers

Rebecca Apr 2021

Whispers

Whispers falling all around.
Eyes staring with reproach.
How could it have been done that way?
Whispers caught in the breeze
From stories long ago
The sting still felt.
Small towns don't forget.
Wondering who knows
Who shares the tales with new unknowns
To walk with head held high
Whispers mold the air
Don't they know
It's not my usual way.
It has been ten years.
Whispers still fall all around
As I walk down the street.
Without a friend.

Apr 2021 · 64

Reflections

Rebecca Apr 2021

Reflections

They are my reflections,
and I am theirs.
They share my losses.
They share my gains.
Share grief.
Share history.
My turtle heart no mystery
to my reflections
who are not quite the same,
but so similar.
They know the unspoken.
People mistake us for each other-
something we don't quite see.
They are my biggest competition
and biggest advocates.
I am one of three.

Apr 2021 · 102

Today's Special

Rebecca Apr 2021

Today's Special

Clear payment for a wrong done.
Sadness cleared.
A receipt granted.
No more repair.
No more cold dishes.
The dish was hot and ready.
Cut with depth and feeling,
The dish was plated.
The platter gold.
Clear payment for a wrong done.

Apr 2021 · 360

Put It Away

Rebecca Apr 2021

Put It Away

I hold it in the light
Tiny rays shine through
I rest it on my hand
No one sees, but me.
I will not share.

I rest it close.
I pull it off and never will I tell
what is and isn't.
I put it in the drawer
safe from sight.
Put away.

Apr 2021 · 94

First

Rebecca Apr 2021

First

It was better than moonlight.
It was better than birds singing in morning.
It was the sweetness of youth.
It was to be a wonderful memory.
But is was truly nothing.
It was soon forgotten.
It was never forgiven.
It was just a mistake.

Apr 2021 · 240

Turtle Heart

Rebecca Apr 2021

Turtle Heart

Some days I feel so deep,
Others I am numb.
I have felt so much
My heart is covered by turtle shell.
I feel no more.

I have no more to share.
No truth to tell.
I stare blankly
When once I was amazed.
Now I am unmoved.

My turtle shell is heavy.
I rest with blank dreams.
Please reserve my place in life.
I'll be back with my shell
pushed back.
Just not this day.

Apr 2021 · 79

Lonesome House

Rebecca Apr 2021

Lonesome House

Lonesome house in the field.
No longer full of voices.
No longer full of family.
Where lives bloomed.
Where tragedy came.
Left abandoned.

Lonesome house in the field.
No longer claimed.
No longer wanted.
With front porch dipping down.
In graceful bow to passing traffic.

Lonesome house sitting in the field.
No longer stories.
No longer groomed.
With golden fields surrounding,
Collapsing dreams forever lost
in a pile of wood coming down.

Apr 2021 · 70

Rich In Love

Rebecca Apr 2021

Rich In Love

Her kind jade eyes full of love.
Her wrinkled hand wiped tears and swatted bees.
Her caring lips murmured soothing words.
Her arms reached round my shoulders.
Her heart so full of thought.
Her love for me without condition.
Her teachings not forgotten.
Her prayers for me heard by God.
Her house, my sanctuary.
Her sense of humor, full of youthful play.
Her spot now empty in the world.
Her wings now firmly placed.

Apr 2021 · 72

Day at the Beach

Rebecca Apr 2021

Day at the Beach

Silky sand drifting through my clinched fist
falling on his tanned back.
He startles pushing his glasses.
"Don't do that. Read your book."

I draw patterns on his arm,
writing, "I love you."
He jerks away,
"Are you bored?"

My hand shades my eyes.
He stands and walks away.
I close my eyes.
Almost done
.
No more to give.
Yes, bored.
As he.
No more for us.

Apr 2021 · 751

WRITING DISORDER

Rebecca Apr 2021

WRITING DISORDER

It is a sickness.
Words pour from me
Truth and fantasy
Since a child.
I have a writing disorder.
People run for fear I'll share.

When in the fever, it spills from me
on napkins and paper bags.
It surrounds me.
It drowns me.

The disorder seizes me.
Words written in lost notebooks
long forgotten.
The writings disappear, but the sickness
never goes.

Uncontrollably, as green in May,
words spread over me.

Apr 2021 · 80

Texas to Philadelphia

Rebecca Apr 2021

Texas to Philadelphia

They packed her Ford with his belongings.
Texas to Philadelphia.
Internet love fully bloomed.
He left it all behind
to make it work.
Old enough to know better
Dumb enough to hope.
Texas to Philadelphia.
She called the shots.
He fell in line.
He left it all behind.
Now, he only calls his sons.
She pays the child support.
He left it all behind.
His ex drugs too much.
His momma cries.
The boys are going wild.
He's stuck in Philadelphia.
His heart's no longer there.