Lean forward to better see the view;
Trees speeding past on the bright blue day.
This trip is for duty;
Next trip for fun.
Holding the package on my lap.
I raise it and look at the tab.
Obsessive, compulsive- yes,  
the correct one.
I swallow the lump
as it raises in my throat.
This for work;
Next for fun.
I look forward.
Raise my chin.
Confidence.
This is for duty;
next is for fun.
A matter of hours.
No work undone.
Almost there.
This has yet begun
but seems almost done.

Snagged her from my grasp;
Little bit under the weather;
Thought you were helping;
Never understood it was a plot;
Just taking a little break;
Left the dog treats on the bed
just so you would know I needed you.
Never thought you would use it against me.
Need you to help me long.
Why'd you give it up.
Baby, not yours.
Ha, you know.
Just needed a place to stay.
Don't punish me with that.
Not yours, she is only mine.
Gave her all I have.

Thought you were mean;
You said no more;
I was hurt;
So you pulled me back;
Not with passion;
But gentle caring;
It had been love;
Then it was guilt;
You meant no more;
But you were human.
You felt my pain.
Not cruelness.
Just helplessness.
You were done.
I get it now.

Wild blueberries for breakfast muffins.
Green Kool-aid on Birthdays,
with green icing on homemade cakes.
Sticky homemade popsicles
and sips from gushing water hoses.
Tadpoles in jars.
Flyflies lighting the night skies.
***** feet pushing at pedals
To win the race.
Picking vegetables for dinner.
Swimming at days end in the lake.
Smell of grilling steaks on Friday night.
Fresh cut grass on Saturday morning;
Charmed with this.
The blessing of childhood.

Soft pale gold enveloping
Dragging me down
Into deep thoughts
More my self here
Alone, eyes down.
Missed opportunities.
Blessings counted.
Pulling me deeper in myself.
Prayers for direction.
I will be. It will be.
Just old me.
Sinking under.

Leaves being caught in the rain
Torn from the trees;
Falling on the road;
Steam rising on the wet bricks.
All in front of me.
A time when youth seemed
Like all I would know.
So much freedom,
Hungry life.
I would love to live it again.
Heart so full.
So sure of self.
To live such reckless beauty.
Toss my calm grace
For a moment of charmed energy.
Move over wealth of knowledge
for breathtaking unknown.
Fresh beginnings just a thought.

Cin, Cin,
Alla nostra salute!
Grasp the sweet,
Surrender the mold.
Join in company
With open heart.
Dismiss your care.
Dive in,
Not too deep.
Feel the rush of open thought.
Open dreams.
Cin, Cin,
Alla nostra salute.