feeling amazing
i graze upon
seeking saline
and saying
out loud
the things i’ve lost
redirecting the pain i felt
the insane i was dealt
matriarchal reign
my adolescent hell
i descend as i dwell
i wish the memories erased
and well, i am still presented
with a text and facetime call
each week, wishing me well

I say,
hoping it’s too quiet for you to hear,
but you do
and with one hand,
you press your finger to my lips,
and with the other, you
give me everything I
do not have the words to
ask for.

You deserve a better version of me,
I'm merely existing;
constantly drowning myself in Bourbon whiskey.
I've been baptized by my demons,
chastised with the heathens,
yet I'm blessed to have you on standby;
patiently waiting in the Garden of Eden.

Life's been tougher than me,
I suffer and grieve,
I struggle to uncover the deeper meaning of peace.

I'm troubled for sleep,
Lord give me faith -
to believe is to see,
to be loved is to breathe.

For my beloved I breathe.

Tonight we toast to death,
for without the certainty of death;
the value of life would be nonexistent.