Bare monstrosity
carved for me

protected, decorated
Unleashed for me; I

Love myself ugly so— ugly,
so lovely a word, and secretive.

Could not dare measure

the lengths and lengths
of its shadowy stretch.

So willingly blind, I
lurk oblivious into my depths

Lost to the haze

my drowning—
my stillness. Lost;

but a memory, clinging,
stays:
Lush gold fields
subsiding to moor.

Then the fire they lit.

Ripped for me
emptied and burned for me,
My own beloved lamb.

I wish I yielded,
melted; wish I shivered—
pleaded.

I wish I wasn’t such a god

wish I knew the taste of
my blood, the burning redness,

the undying throbbing of it
The ever-coiling restraint of it

Rattling chains, I wish I had.
Marked with my name

So terrifying this transcendence
so terrifying I—